how can i discuss something when it turns into fighting?

@jhl930 (3603)
United States
July 29, 2008 1:57pm CST
ok usually when i have a problem i like to just sit down and talk about it and not get into a fight about it because to me its not worth fighting over honestly, there are very few things that i actually will fight over...and whenever there is something wrong and i try and talk to her about it it just always turns into a fight because she starts getting upset and talking about im always telling her what she does wrong(and thats not true, because i ask her one night i said, is that so, she said yes, i said wahat about all of these times that i tell you how beautiful you are and how much you mean to everyone and all the good things you do and how great you are)she said well i guess that your right, im sorry...but then the next time we fight its the same old stuff and we don't really fight that often and when we do its always over the same stuff...i just really want an answer...how can i discussi something when it always turns into a fight? thanks for taking the time to read my discussion and i hope that you all have a great day!
1 person likes this
2 responses
@heartonfire (4128)
• Denmark
29 Jul 08
There isn't ,any way to discuss something that evidently offends or stresses the other, in any way you would put it it still turns out wrong...they have like some kind of fixation on the brain,and each time you bring up that subject,even if in a different shape, the light bulb turns on and they start shouting..lol I am surprised that this discussion was started by a guy,because usually it's the female who tried and discuss the problems with calm,and the man is that one saying oh,no,here you go again. I am familiar with that attitude, that it always goes on in the same manner as before,no matter how many times you've discussed about it.. What star sign are you,if I may ask?...what wouldn't I give for my partner to be like that,and just discuss things for as long as necessary, to get to a point and a conclusion, and who doesn't get angry or offend each time they feel attacked by no reason.
@jhl930 (3603)
• United States
29 Jul 08
well i really don't like fighting and i would rather just talk about it and not worry about it after we fight because its not worth it, and star sign...i was born in september i don't understnad the question...thanks for replying to my discussion!
• Denmark
29 Jul 08
In september,so you are either a virgo or a libra
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
30 Jul 08
Sometimes couples that are discussing a situation don't really listen to what is being said..and that is the first problem...We need to actually listen to what is being said so we can resolve the situation amicably... And we need to be truthful in the discussion..Sometimes the truth hurts and we don't want to hear it....but if you are truthful in every thing you do and say then there shouldn't be any fighting... I think that turning it into a fight wards off the other person so they won't continue the conversation...It is a defense mechanism... Sometimes it isn't as easy as just "getting and answer"...and sometimes it is best that somethings are left unsaid....sounds weird but it is true...