My strange neighbour?

@keya2468 (289)
India
August 1, 2008 1:19pm CST
My neighbours are my husband's colleague.the husband (the colleague)is a nice person.but the problem is with the wife..we are staying in two adjacent apartments..I always want to keep a good , healthy relationship with my neighbours..both of us(wives)are housewifes..I like to gossip with ladies..I told her to come to my apartment some time , so that we can spent good time by gossing..but that lady don't come to my place..she is not shy or little spoken..I love to cook..so I make many delicious dishes..sometime I give my neighbours some of the dishes..but they never give me a single compliment like the food was good or tasty!!they seldom gave me some dish which they have cook..next day they ask me how was the food?I had to tell them that the food was really good which is partially true..my question is why they don't show a little courtesy by complementing my food?I know that they do this intentionally..are they doing wright?
3 people like this
11 responses
@spalladino (17923)
• United States
1 Aug 08
No, your neighbor is not doing right, she is not very friendly and is also rude. There is no way for you to know why she is like this unless she decides to confide in you so you're going to have to just accept that she is the way that she is. You can continue to be kind to her or you can give up and see if that makes her more friendly towards you. Not everyone gets along with everyone else so, while it's a shame that the two of you aren't becoming good friends, I think the loss is more hers than yours.
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
How can you be sure that she does is intentionally? Perhaps the real reason why she does not interact with you nor compliments you is because she is shy. I know you said she isn't shy nor is she little spoken but maybe she is because her husband is your husband's colleague. Are they new to your place? If they are then maybe she has yet to adapt to your community. Though I really can't be sure of the reasons why your neighbor acts this way another answer can be that you just expect a bit too much for her.
1 person likes this
@keya2468 (289)
• India
1 Aug 08
First of all how do you know that I am expecting too much from her?I think you have not read my question properly.I only said that she never give compliment to me..I am not expecting a huge amount of compliments from her..but she even don't say like "the food was good"....is this statement seems "too much expectation"to you?another point is she is not new to my place.we know each other for many days..so there is no point of not getting adapted with circumstances..another point is do you know her better than me? I am living with her for a long time..I know her that is not shy ..several times she come to my place and borrow things to use them.. I always help her in every circumstances..
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
Sorry its my bad, you are right I don't know here more than I know you, again my apologies. Well if she can go to your house anytime and ash for help or something yet she fails to give a simple compliment then something may very well be wrong with her. I guess the next step would either be to continue what you are doing and try to get though her or just forget trying to make her your friend and just mark her as your acquaintance. It not your big loss anyway if she doesn't want to be friends.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
2 Aug 08
hi keya, well all people are different. maybe this wife does not like to gossip, maybe that family is a very private family that are not in the habit of mangling. i really do not understand why they did not react when they tasted your food, but if i would have been inn your place i would act nice, smile and say hello. but won't try too much, to give them things. i am sure there are people that will appreciate your cooking more. good luck
@keya2468 (289)
• India
2 Aug 08
hi liranlgo..you have given me valuable suggestion..thank you..
@mheckglo (45)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
you have the nicest intentions towards the people around you...but maybe, being too nice isnt a solution...coz some people might abuse the kindness you are showing them.....and there are some people who enjoy irritating others...so don't let them get into your nerves...okei? hehehehe...approach positive people....and be happy....
@keya2468 (289)
• India
2 Aug 08
yes you are correct..I shall keep in mind your suggestions..thanks mheckglo..
@srpkinja (375)
• Canada
2 Aug 08
I dont think that you should take this personally. I think that if my neighbour ever gave me something, anything, especially something they have cooked for me and my family and have thought of me and took the time to make something for me, that I would atleast be a little polite and thank them. But maybe your neighbour wasnt taught to be polite or doesnt really know how to express herself to you. There could be a million reasons to why she doesnt want to say, "thank you" or even do something nice for me. Or maybe, it could be that she didnt ask for you to do anything nice for her and feels threatened because you are making her food, when she can make it herself. People are different and will act differently. Just dont take it personally and keep being a good neighbour!
@keya2468 (289)
• India
2 Aug 08
I agree with you..may be she don't have that politeness to give just a single appreciation..
• Canada
1 Aug 08
I wouldn't worry too much. Some people are less expressie than others. Some people may not be that social. It's ofte hard for some less social people to tell a social person what they think. I am fortunate to live in a not-that-social building. Neither my husband nor mysel are that social. We prefer to keep to ourseles. Could i be that this lady may eel the same? I DO NOT THINK IT'S PERONAL, I think it's just a sign that we are all diferent.
@keya2468 (289)
• India
2 Aug 08
We all live in a social world. I somehow feel that if man forgets to be social, then this world will be a very dreary place to live in. Being unsocial isn't a thing to be proud of. This world is gradually opening up more and more avenues of communication. If you just remain cooped up within your house, and nobody except your husband knows about your existence in this world, then I feel you need to change a bit. There's nothing wrong in being social. On the other hand, it's much, much better if you lead a social life. After all, man is a social being, isn't he? I only wanted to say that my neighbours should have this basic courtesy to thank someone when they give them something. Being unsocial has perhaps, made them forget even the manners of society.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
2 Aug 08
Odd. What is the relationship between the husbands at work? Are they peers or is it a manager / subservient relationship? Are they competitors for the same projects or the same promotions? Are they work friends only or do they also socialize? With the wife, is this someone that you would choose as a friend for yourself if it wasn't for the fact that she is married to your husbands colleague? I think that unless there is some reason for you to reach out to her maybe you should just leave it alone and only socialize when the husbands do. You mention that you enjoy gossip with the ladies, maybe this is not something that she enjoys or possibly it is something that she is uncomfortable with. Do you know her interests? How long has she been married to her husband? You mention that when they give you food they always ask how you enjoyed it. Do you ask them how they enjoyed the dishes you give them? I would. While I agree that they should offer the compliment rather than wait to be asked, possibly it is simply bad manners on their part rather than an intentional attempt to hurt your feelings.
2 Aug 08
frankly i think your neighbour has a little rude,but you know,you are friendly and ardent.but not everyone live like your style,there are many person like alone and have little communication with orthers.so from essence,you do not blame her.you could do less than you did.
@AshleyHasan (1024)
• India
2 Aug 08
She is really strange may be she dont want to maintain the relationships with you all or may be she might be reserved kind of person , if you are really close to her you can let her know about that, I am sure if she is close to you she will take that positively, sometimes if you like someone or to maintain the friendship with them we have get down a step and let them know about that, she will realize that and change herself , if you think she just dont like to mingle with you all then just ignore her because you cant help with such kind of people and it is waste of time.
@navonly (901)
• India
2 Aug 08
Common dear, even you dont tell them about their food directly. Its only when they them self ask about their food. As you said that your neighbor is very shy kind of, so its obvious that your relationship with her as a neighbor is not so good that she would like to be into any conversation directly with you. Due to this may be she is not able to pass any positive or negative comment for your food. Am sure, if you'll ask her about your food, she'll definitely let you know about it. If you really want to improve your relationship with her as a good neighbor you should first of all start visit her house frequently, may be later on she'll openup and then she'll also start visiting your place.
• India
2 Aug 08
I think I agree with you. You know, sometime or the other, we need a pat on the back to motivate us. Take myLot, for example. Here, if you are constantly faced with bad luck, if nobody responds to your discussions, nobody comments on your responses, you'll feel left out of it all and feel that all your afforts are wasted and soon you'll be giving up on it. Well, danish and mobilecubie, you both have taken a lenient view, I appreciate that, but try to see it from keya's perspective also. You both feel that maybe the other housewife isn't that social, it's her nature, so she can be pardoned. But the question is: why does sshe suddenly become social when it comes to getting praise for her own dishes? This isn't merely shyness, in my opinion. It is snobbishness. She doesn't even care to compliment keya on her dishes, to tell her what a good job she has done. This seems like she takes her for granted, as if it's keya's duty to give some of her food to her at times, and as if she's just doing keya a favour by just tasting it. She shouldn't be expecting anything more from her. We live in a social world. So truthfully speaking, unsocial people are reallly an eyesore.