This one is for the moms with sons
By little_momma
@little_momma (198)
United States
August 2, 2008 1:45am CST
I was babysitting a 4 year old boy who would always grab himself but his mom didn't tell me about this habit. The first time I seen him do it I asked him if he had to pee and told him if not then quit playing with it. When I asked his mom about it she told me that its not a big deal he just likes for it to be big. They just pretend he isn't doing it so they don't 'give him a complex' (her words). Now, I have a 7 year old daughter, a 4 year old daughter and a 18 month old son. I figure after 4 weeks of telling him not to play with it should be enough for him to figure out that its not acceptable here. Yesterday I sat him in timeout for an unrelated incedent and not 2 seconds later he was stroking himself and my 4 year old daughter and son were in the room. I asked him if he had to pee and since he didn't I gave him the look that said then STOP NOW. No sooner did I turn around to pick something up and turn back around he was doing it again! I walked over and slapped his hand. Not, hard mind you, kind of like you tap a toddlers hand when they gab for something unsafe to let them know you are serious when you say no, and this little boy shot me a look like he was gonna slap me! Now, because I have a son myself and I have no plans on letting him getting away with that, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with it when they are young? And if you don't agree with how I delt with him, how would you have handled it differently?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
30 Sep 08
When my 11 year old was about 1 1/2 years old he used to play with himself too. I think it felt good so he did it. I never made a big deal out of it. The more you make a big deal out of it the more they will do it. His mother is not punishing him for it and neither should you. I would not be slapping his hand for anything. My son stopped doing it on his own in a few months. What I would advise you to do is to get him involved in some other activity when he starts doing this. I would have him go to the bathroom and wash his hands first and then see if he wanted to play with some Play Doh or do some coloring or something to occupy his hands.
Good luck with this situation.
Have a nice day and happy myLotting!!!
@Sillychick (3275)
• United States
30 Sep 08
Since his mom allows him to do it, I wouldn't slap him or punish him for it. I would work out a system that is acceptable to both you and his mother. For instance, asking him to do it in private, not because it is wrong or bad, but because some things are to be kept private. It is actually more common than you think for children to touch themselves, girls included, often as a way to soothe themselves or in times of stress.
@anyabecker (98)
• United States
26 Aug 08
i work in the childcare business also and i will tell you this is totally normal behavior in a 3-4 year old. They have just discovered themselves and have found that their body does funny things when the do a certain thing... I would just be very clear with him that this is not an appropriate thing to do in public... that if he wants to do that then he can go to the bathroom... after a while he will get bored with it and stop... but you will have to be very consistent in making him go to the bathroom every time you catch him doing the behavior... after a while he will get the picture that he is not allowed to do this at your house...
