How long did it take to trust your cheating boyfriend again?
@mzannie816izmossh8d (29)
United States
August 2, 2008 10:18pm CST
Okay so I am with this guy. He has done everything to hurt me in the past.
And he changed after a couple of broken windows and busted lips (from me 2 him)
We been through a whole lot of hard things.
He's changed like I said and I know it because I don't have to be on his every move he let's me know ahead of time of his every move and were either on the phone texting or talking if were not side by side.
I think it took me................. almost a year to feel like I can trust him. I still test him though because, I don't know, it's fun sometimes lol but I sometimes wonder if it's true when they say "ONCE A CHEAT, ALWAYS A CHEAT!"
1 person likes this
14 responses
@marlena18042 (636)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I know this not to be true b/c I was a cheater at one point but then I grew out of it.Mainly,I did it b/c I had it done to me,but two rights dont make a wrong.I dont know about everyone as, everyone is different. First,you say that he changed because of what you've done to him but people change when THEY want to. Now, do you really want to be with someone that you have to be texting with, or talking to 24/7 just to assure you that he is being faithful? It sounds like you still may have some insecurities about him. Whatever those wrongs that he did to you in the past seemed to have really done some damage to your relationship.
If it were me,I would really think hard about this and ask myself if I want to have the stress and constant worry. Feeling secure in a relationship is so important and I believe that trust IS the basis of any relationship.I hope everything works out and you end up doing whats best for you!
@mzannie816izmossh8d (29)
• United States
3 Aug 08
i never really knew if it was true but it's just a common saying u hear a lot when it comes to this subject.
sorry i didnt go into detail about how we are now, but we came along way to get us where we are.
your so right about people changing when they want to. he didnt change because i did watever to him, that was for me and i felt so good when the bricks left my hand to his windows.:-p
he actually changed because he knew he lost me.
i took out a couple months to think hard about it but i didnt think to much about it. i was younger and like my mama always told me "PLENTY OF FISHES IN THE SEA" so i enjoyed being single ignored his calls and turned down all his offers for dinner,lunch,movies etc and got to know other guys but i found myself just thinking bout him when im sitting there with another guy.
i talked to him a little more after i realized he still has my heart and i seen a difference in him.
we sorted out all our problems we had (not just the cheating) and laid down some rules and to this day it works.
@marlena18042 (636)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I am glad that it is working out for you now! As for that saying, I dont know who invented that or why, maybe just a very bitter person! And yes, sometimes it takes us to lose something dear to us and then we realize how valuable that thing was once it is gone! good luck with your relationship in yrs to come you might be very happy that you've stuck it out!
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
3 Aug 08
i was once in an unhealthy relationship before for 8 years. my ex boyfriend cheated on me several times and most of them i just learned after some time through friends and events. i gave him all the chances he wanted but still, he kept on cheating on me. 8 years after, i realized that i was just wasting my time hoping that one day, he'll change and be a better man. i am really glad i woke up in that nightmare.
i am not sure if that saying is true "once a chater, always a cheater" but it did happen to me. it's still up for you to decide on that.
@munhozmib (3837)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
3 Aug 08
Hello!
You should be careful. I know that you say that he has changed and all, but still you should keep an eye on him, because we never know how will people react. He has hurt you so much, why are you still with him? You should look for someone who whould not hurt you, but instead would try to help you and aid you. I am glad to know that you can still trust him, even if it is after one year. It shows that you have learned how to forgive, and this is really important. I hope he has also learned that he shouldn't cheat on you.
Now, I have never been cheated. Not that I know of, at least, hahahaha. And if somebody cheated on me, I would immediately end my relationship with that girl. I want to hear no excuses, nor anything. I am not tied to anybody, and if somebody is cheating me, then somebody is not with me anymore.
Respectfully,
Munhozmib.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
3 Aug 08
It actually did not take me long to start trusting mine again to be honest. Mine is my hubby though and he cheated on me for a year. But a lot of talking went on and the whole experience actually only served to bring us closer. I now trust him completely.
I am not sure about the saying, but all I will say is that if mine does it again then there is not a lot I can do to stop it, I will not waste my time worrying about it. He does know that the next time will be the last time though, I gave him the benefit of the doubt but I would not again.
@StarChild517 (657)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I agree with once a cheat always a cheat from personal experience I still dont trust my current boyfriend who cheated I still catch some glitter on him and on his car seat and saying he is always broke and can never tell me where he goes. I say hes still a cheating dont you guys think?
@Geoffreyyang (19)
• China
3 Aug 08
I like the proverb "Once a cheat,always a cheat".In my point of view,this sounds quite true logically though I'm a boy as well.I'm reluctant to accept the fact that boyfriends are always prone to lies.It seems to make them look like more than a MAN.And I know from a few American movies that most of boyfriends prefer to show off their advantages over other foolish boys by performing their "wise" strategy in love affairs.Lies have become their closest friends and allies.They're being prepared at all times for harsh questions from their girlfriends.But I still hope you can give him an opportunity which is important to both of you.It always costs you to do so,yet is profitable to you.No matter if you're right or not,you should consider youself as a winner of love.Acquiring a good boyfriend who loves you and dumping a bad one who cheats you are both good ends to you.
@lovelyvon (75)
• United States
3 Aug 08
for me, it takes a long time to trust my boyfriend again but i don't want him to feel that there is something wrong for everything he do, i will let him feel that im still the same like before he did all that cheat!
@donsky14 (5947)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
"ONCE A CHEAT, ALWAYS A CHEAT!"
^ no, I don't believe that. I was once a cheater as well. And my boyfriend now WAS a cheater as well. But now, we've both changed. Because we really love each other and I know for a fact that both of us won't ever cheat again, because we've found what we were looking for in each other.
@poorboy2595 (296)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I hate to be negative in any way, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I think you are spinning your wheels in this relationship. I have been married for 8 years now, and our marriage has always been based on trust and communication. I have never had any trust issues with my wife, and I am pretty sure she has not with me either.
My Ex-wife on the other hand....... sounds a lot like the relationship you are in now. When you think your mate is cheating, they probably are, if you think they are lying, they probably are.....
Sorry
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I don't know about other people & I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people who have been cheated on... I myself have been cheated on by a girl I used to go out with when I was in college... The day I found out was the last time I have spoken to her... I don't believe in 2nd chances as far as relationships go...
@sweetbarbie22 (304)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
Giving my trust to a person is very important. I always have this habit to always give benefit of the doubt. So when I trust you, you should really learn to appreciate it and take care of it coz once it will damaged or destroyed, I tell that it's not easy to bring back that again. you can always forgive and give another chance but even if you started all over again, the doubt remains in you. But I still believe, it's a matter of time and how a guy show his way to earn your trust again. You could not say how long...
@tashipear (10)
• Australia
3 Aug 08
hmmm, I always thought "once a cheater always a cheater" was a correct statement, hoever, I am not so sure. I have seen people go from cheating to committed. Some people cheat because they are unsure what they want and cheating makes them realise what it is they actually want. In a weird way it makes them grow into the person they are and makes them more responisible. However there are some people that dont change. Only you know by his actions and words whether you can trust him or not!
