Your 9 yr old son came to you for guidance about his crush, what is your advice?

@Jenaisle (3803)
Philippines
August 4, 2008 7:43am CST
He confided that he has a crush in school and that it was the girl's birthday. He wanted to give a gift to the girl and write a "love letter". How would you react to this revelation? What would you do?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@donsky14 (5961)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
wow..at such an early age? I guess I'll just support my son if that's what he really wants.
1 person likes this
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
That's what I did, and I had carefully navigated him to less serious matters.
@donsky14 (5961)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
that is so cute...lol. So how does his crush looks like? Where did he meet her?
• United States
4 Aug 08
I don't have children, but you must have a very special relationship with your son for him to be so open about his feelings with you! I think that's terrific and will probably save him a lot of agony as he gets older and gets seriously interested in girls.
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Yes, I would think so. I hope the trust would remain for always.
@relundad (2311)
• United States
4 Aug 08
According to my 9 year old, he has had a girlfriend since age 5 and kindergarten. He never stated anything like he wanted to send a love letter. But basically I just go with it at his level and basically its justs something that the kids say. I'm wondering where your son gets the notion to write a love letter. That seems like the mentality of a much older person, or like he is repeating something that he heard. All of the kids trade gifts on holidays so that isnt a big deal.
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Yes, perhaps he have heard the word somewhere and didn't know what it truly means. At 5 yrs. old-that have been an earlier occurrence for your child..
@gemini_rose (16192)
4 Aug 08
He has come to you and confided in you about this, that is a big thing for a child of nine to confide his feelings to a parent. How you react to him now will be a deciding factor on his relationship with you as he gets older. My son was about the same age when he confided to me about a girl he liked in school and he wanted to send her something for valentines day. My main worry was him getting hurt because he was a sensitive little soul, but I put that aside and took him shopping and helped him pick a card for her and a little present that he paid for himself with his pocket money. I helped him to write in his card too. This is all perfectly normal for the age he is at, I have a 7 year old son too and he has two girlfriends or more he says! Just be happy that he is confiding in you.
1 person likes this
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
I'm glad someone had the same experience . I was getting worried the child is way advance his age. Thanks for that enlightening and informative comment. I'm sure our readers and not only me can learn from your comment.
@rsa101 (23688)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Well just enjoy the situation there. don't panic as its pretty normal that a boy starts to find interest about girls. It doesn't matter that he is too young at his age or not. Just enjoy that moment with him and gain his trust on you. It is pretty rare that boys would confide their feelings towards parents, sot take this opportunity to monitor him and guide him instead of punishing your son for feeling that way.
@Jenaisle (3803)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
You're right, I will have to enjoy the moment and not be worried too much.
• United States
5 Aug 08
I would ask him to see the letter. Cant have my son look dumb with misspellings and grammatical errors to a girl he likes. Second, I would ask him how much he spent on this girl's gift. Depending on the cost and his age, my words to him will vary. A mother may react differently, but a father will be more supportive to his own son.
@nilzerous1 (2435)
• India
4 Aug 08
I think you need to take up the matter with a friendly attitude without getting too excited or disappointed about this story. At his age, I suppose, there is nothing serious about it. But obviously, you can make him understand that his present focus should be at his studies and not to get crushed in school. There is much time left for him to do this in future. But do not be insisting - just try to take it as a child play and act accordingly.