Are looks all you care about?

United States
August 4, 2008 10:13am CST
I know that we are attracted to someone by sight (unless you meet them on the internet and don't exchange pics) but do you always stay on the visual attraction level? Some guys/girls never get past that stage. some guys/girls only give the time of day to those they find physically attractive bypassing some really great people cause they only want what looks good. Sometimes the wrapper on the package is just that the wrapper the beauty goes no further than the surface. Sometimes the plain brown wrapper holds the best gifts. How do you feel about this?
5 people like this
18 responses
• United States
4 Aug 08
I have found that most of the time I am not attracted to the men I date by appearance, and at first I am kind of disappointed with how they look. But I do not let that change how I feel for them on the inside, and they are usually the best relationships. Over time I become very attracted to their appearance, it really grows on me when I am in love with someone for their personality.
3 people like this
• United States
4 Aug 08
My mom is very shallow and she taught me to be as well. I dated for a long time based on looks and I had the "ideal" man in mind that I wanted. Someone tall, broad, fit, and in many ways what other girls talk about. Sexy with great lips, teeth, eyes and so on. Plus all the guys I dated in college were older (with most of them being 28-35 when I was 20-21). Then I met a guy in a chat room and through circumstances he became my best friend. Five months later without ever having seen him we made arrangements. He was tall, and really skinny, too skinny. With an over large nose. He was 19 then, but looked about 12. He had huge glasses which gave his overall look a very dorky appearance. Well...I fell in love with him. Sure not at first sight. In fact, I think I had started to fall in love with him before I ever met him. He was kind, smart, mature (in fact he was more mature then many of the older guys I had dated), sweet, and a great friend. The best of friends. Now we have been married for almost three years (three years next month) and life is pretty darn good. He is still my best friend and I can see all of his positive aspects that I wouldn't have ever looked at before. Plus he has filled out a little and has glasses that fit his face. None the less, he wasn't the physical choice I would have made... But he is the best choice I could have ever found.
2 people like this
@adoremay (2069)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
What is in the inside is more important to me rather than the outside.
2 people like this
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
sometimes yes... but sometimes no.. don't judge the books by it's cover..
2 people like this
@memorable (114)
• United States
5 Aug 08
That is true you can definately miss a great opportunity by the physical appearance, attraction goes a long way you can be very attracted to someone by something they do or say and not the physical attraction and still like them just the same.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
the truth is, i am tired looking at physical attributes of a person. i've met several beautiful women but they don't have beautiful attitudes. now, attitude is much important for me than appearances. I agree in your statement, "sometimes the wrapper on the package is just that the wrapper the beauty goes no further than the surface. sometimes plain brown wrapper holds the best gift." I really agree in this one. great job pal. :))
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
Those who hold the physicals are those who intend to work with the physicals alone. I've seen men bragging about their pretty girlfriends but ended up separated from them. Looks don't play a good factor if you are looking for someone you want to be with for lifetime.
1 person likes this
• China
5 Aug 08
when it comes to boyfriend ,I may choose a man with high IQ or who hs a humous one;When it comes to friend ,I may choose a wormhearted one or share the same interests with me .Outside apperance is just an aspect .
1 person likes this
@metschica25 (5405)
• United States
5 Aug 08
I have always believed the beauty is in the eye of the beholder . Something will just draw us to a person and it just happens . Looks may be a factor to a point , but that is all . As years go on looks dont matter as much . Skin deep is where beauty lies . I think that if a person is pretty with an ugly heart then that makes them appear not good looking and the other way around.
1 person likes this
@cjmobxnc (137)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I myself have been judged too many times on looks alone, and it really hurts at times. So, I try as much as possible not to judge just on looks alone. You're right about the plain brown wrapper - sometimes it holds the best, most interesting, and most inspiring things.
• Canada
4 Aug 08
i am not all that interested in looks. i mean, it's great if someone looks good, but it doesn't say anything about what kind of person they are, or whether i might get along with him/her.
• United States
4 Aug 08
Well...I am not a beautiful person on the outside...so I am VERY aware of the fact that people judge you from your appearance. I think it is matter of psychological maturity. Human beings take in an extreme amount of information based on sight. We must learn to take that information we gain from sight and move on to our other senses. Some people tend to stop at the sight. It we do this we can increase the possibility to get "stuck" there - limiting our opportunities and growth. Growing up as one of the "not so beautiful people" (on the outside) - was painful...however, with pain comes an opportunity for growth and change. I understood at a very young age that some people will judge you harshly for your looks...but there are those who can and will look beyond and find the "beautiful" within. I learned quickly that the happier people (on the inside) are the beautiful people (on the inside)...the "beautiful" people on the outside (based on societies terms - like magazines, tv, peers, etc) can be so consumed with their outer appearance they are too busy with that to find "true" happiness. Because I was not one of the "beautiful" people I learned and felt empathy for others. With this empathy I was able to put myself in other people's shoes and FEEL how they may actually feel...so it was easier for me to move away from negatively judging others for their appearance. I try to find the positive within. I have come to terms with my appearance. I will NEVER be one of those beautiful people as described in our (American) society. I understand that and am fine with that - most of the time. :-) I was lucky to learn this "lesson" early in life. Some never do learn this one. I grew up focusing on my mind, personality and spirit. I feel it is much more important to be happy with who you are - rather that what you look like. The cover on this book...doesn't even begin to describe what is inside. And I am pleased with what is inside.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 08
I used to be this way, I confess. Until I got hurt in my relationships after jumping into them thinking I had this 'hunk' of a man ...that ended up treating me like dirt in the end which just made him to be the ugliest person in the world to me. It was my relationships that changed my way of thinking. I met a great guy now who I took time to get to know and after knowing him I fell maddly in love with HIM, not just with his looks but his mind and just his whole being and he makes me so happy. Go beyond the looks people, there are some really good ones out there!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
Always appreciate someone and dont lose a diamond because you are be too busy collecting stones. Sometimes, people tend to always look for good looking persons for them to boast of, for them to be called also as attractive. When we meet a person, always bear in mind that what is important is his thoughts and character towards life and other people. Always get close to those with good hearts and stay away from those bad ones. Im not saying that if a person is good looking means he is not good. There sometimes we call the almost perfect ones. With good personality, inside and out. Be blessed if you are the one.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 08
No, I look much deeper. They have to know how to take care of themselves though. But i look for things we have in common and if i admire them, there will be an attraction. =)
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
4 Aug 08
That is a fact. But some people are quite shallow and are only interested in gift wrapping. And we know what happens when you take off the wrapping...Some many people miss out on the finest things in life for that reason. They are so stuck on the physical attributes of a person that they just don't even get to know someone from the inside. You may be pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside and vice versa. You have to give someone a chance and alot of people miss out because they count people out without ever counting them in.
1 person likes this
@hanirose (307)
• Philippines
4 Aug 08
no, but you can't blame people too if it's the first thing they look at cause truth is it's the first thing you see wherein people can't lie about. The attitude/personality of a person is a bit hard to figure out cause thing is they can pretend and lie about that. sometimes too you can see with the physical looks how a person treats himself. Like if a person is unhygienic you'd know that he/she doesn't take care of her body. That can't be appealing. So to the people who looks at what's on the outside first, i really can't blame them but I just hope that's not ALL they look at.
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
4 Aug 08
Looks are not the most important thing at all. I never really based a lot of things on looks. I usually go for signs of intelligence and personality. It really is true that it is what is inside that counts. It would be fooling ourselves just to believe that looks make the whole person's character. A lot of good people are overlooked because of their looks maybe being criticized.