Have you ever been Hit in a relationship?

@34momma (13882)
United States
August 5, 2008 1:02pm CST
Have you ever had anyone hit you before in a relationship? Did they give you that I am sorry afterwards? You hear about it all the time, people being abused, and then someone says sorry, and that person turns right back around and hits them again. So have you ever been abused? This goes for men too. Woman can be the ones doing the hitting too. Did you stay, and did things get better or worst? what was the finally straw?
10 people like this
23 responses
• United States
6 Aug 08
Once upon a time in my younger days yes. It was just the once and he beat me pretty bad in my head and body, I covered my face for dear life then he left and I called the cops and they were no help in the matter, they came and took their dumb little report and left and never came back. In the mean time my ex-bf climbs in the window and repeats the beating he just gave me. When it was over he went to sleep and woke up and said 'sorry' and acted like it was just nothing. NOT GOOD ENOUGH BUD! I kicked him out that day and even though he's my sons dad, I haven't seen him in 15 years or so and neither has my son who is now 18 and could care less.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
7 Aug 08
well good for you moondrop! once is more then enough and you and your son are now better off
1 person likes this
6 Aug 08
Yes i have been abused.but anyway really i loved her...but i don't have any complains from her..
4 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
7 Aug 08
i am sorry to hear that, and i hope things get better
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
5 Aug 08
oh yes... it happens to me couple of times with my hubby and he keeps on saying sorry... but after that, he will repeat it again... but i won't let him do it to me anymore... my family are also already really angry with him especially my parents... so i will call the police and make sure that he goes to jail the next time he lays his hand on me again... take care and have a nice day...
3 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
6 Aug 08
oh honey i am sorry that is happening to you. what a horrible way to be treated by someone who says they love you. that is not love at all
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
6 Aug 08
No one has ever hit me that I've gone out with. If they did, I wouldn't speak to them again ever. No matter what. I don't care how sorry they are. I would be done. Since I was 7 years old, my mother has always told me never to let a man hit you. I assume the same applies to women too. Although my mother is in a bit of denial about my interest in people, but that's another subject. I don't think people who hit other people are likely to change unless they were addicted to something and stopped being addicted to it because that does change your personality. That's probably the only circumstance under which I would think about going back to someone who previously hit me. If they were in 12 steps or something for some addictive process. Even then, it would take a long time. We're talking at least 6 months and maybe a year. If they could go through all of that without returning to their old habits I might think about liking them again.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
Nope, and I hope never. Right now, I am lucky because my husband love and respect me a lot. That hitting me is far to happen. I hope he will not change. Because if he hits me, that will be another thing for me. Really a big problem.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
6 Aug 08
i know that's right! so you keep up your good relationship honey, i am happy for you
1 person likes this
@memorable (114)
• United States
6 Aug 08
Never been in a physical abuse relationship but sometimes mental abuse can be alot worse than physical.
3 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
6 Aug 08
yes it really can. knowing who you are will help put a stop to such abuse
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 08
yes i have been in an abusive relationship. however i cant recall ever being told he was sorry for hurting me. it usually somehow was "my fault" for him having gotten mad enough to hit me..chase me, corner me and hit me. and i stayed for almost 5 years. dont know why. i should have left the first time it happened. the final straw was when i had to go to work with a black eye. and nobody believed my excuse.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
6 Aug 08
well you got out and that is more important them why you stayed or how long you stayed. good for you girl
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
5 Aug 08
I was never, and if I was that would be the first and last time. I am very inflexible about this which seems strange even to me because I am a very flexible person. But the thought of having someone hit me does not go together with being in a relationship with that person no matter how many times the person would apologize. The main misconception is that the person apologizes because he/she is sorry and that it won't ever happen again, but as a rule it never happens like that. People stay the first time hoping that it's true and it won't be repeated, and then the next and the other because either they are afraid or feel that maybe they can change the other, but it rarely happens.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
5 Aug 08
honey you are so right about that. fear makes us do things that we would not do if we were not so afraid of change.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
6 Aug 08
Yes, people tend to fear change. Fear what they don't know. Fear of what might happen, fear of what others might think. It's even worse for men at times, because of the idea itself, many people can't even believe that men can be physically abused. Courage is needed to get out of an abusive relationship, not matter who the abuser and who the abused is.
2 people like this
@lynnchua (3412)
• Singapore
6 Aug 08
Have been hit by my first boyfriend and yes he apologize and turns right back around and hits me again whenever he is unhappy. And this relationship last for only about a year because I can't stand it anymore.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
6 Aug 08
it am so sad to read that so many of my wonderful mylot friends have been in these kind of relationships. then on the other hand i am so proud of all of you who finally got out
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
5 Aug 08
Once a long time ago, a b/f that I had decided that was a good idea. I left right after it happened and called my father. My daddy proceeded to beat the hell out of him with a 2 by 4 and I never heard or saw him again. Hopefully he learned never to put his hands on a woman again.
3 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
5 Aug 08
go on skinnychick!! now that is what i am talking about. let daddy take car of it
2 people like this
• United States
5 Aug 08
I have been abused and yes everytime he hurt me i got an appolgy from him but i never forgave him for it.. my last boyfirend was abusive and controlling..
3 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
5 Aug 08
wow really! i am so sorry to hear that honey
2 people like this
• United States
5 Aug 08
Yes I have been abused called names(stupid blah blah ugly blah blah) and been hit had money stolen from me...Got pregnant by the dirtbag lost my job due to pregnancy and wont help with my rent doesnt buy any baby stuff had to do it all myself.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
5 Aug 08
well starchild, i hope you are talking about this guy in past tense. i hope you have moved on from him. trust me being a single parent is not easy, but a peace of mind is so worth it
1 person likes this
@suzu12345 (470)
• India
5 Aug 08
well ,,about me i have never had a girl friend ,,so seriously saying ,,no such xpeience,,but i m soryy about the person that had gown in such situations,,but apart from girls i tell u life rocks
@34momma (13882)
• United States
5 Aug 08
LOL, life does rick my friend!!
1 person likes this
• India
7 Aug 08
well really hoping for the moment plss,lolzz,,enjoy,,happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Aug 08
No but recently my best friend was going thru the same situation. her fiance as a matter of fact hit her and abused her and when he apologized she went back to him. I hate what he did and how she ran back. Its ridiculous. He will do it again. I know.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
5 Aug 08
that is how it happens. they say sorry and are good for a while, but then it happens all over again. sorry to hear about your friend honey
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
6 Aug 08
I was hit once and I left. He of course said he was sorry and it would never happen again blah blah blah... I knew that once a hitter always a hitter. The way I see it is if you stay with a person that hits you, you are indirectly giving that person permission to use you as a punching bag. The first time it happend was the final straw for me because as I said I think staying is saying it was okay, and because I had seen his temper before - not toward me but others. A friend once told me to pay attention to how your date treats the waitress - thats how he will treat you in 5 years. From MY experance that is SOOOO VERY true!
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
6 Aug 08
First of all I said "FROM MY EXPERANCE". Second of all if your boyfriend treats you like crap them maybe you need to think about a new boyfriend! Sounds to me like you have other issues to deal with aside from how he treats the watiress.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 08
I don't think that true. My boyfriend treats waitresses very good and tips good but treats me like crap. It all depends on the person. It has nothing to do with the waitress, or how he treats his mother. If he is a jerk he is a jerk.
2 people like this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
6 Aug 08
I had not been in any relationship till date. so i do not have this kind of experience. but i think many get hit.but sometimes sayng sorry also make things ok again. but its abusive at the same time
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Oh yes I sure have and yes the sorry's would come soon afterwards every time and I went back believing it to be true only to find out that it wasn't. I've been beaten to the ground or floor so many times that I couldn't count it on my two hands. The final straw was when he went for my throat in which I tried to kick him in his nuts but didn't kick high enough or hard enough and that's when he really went after me and picked me up and slammed me to the floor, we lived on the bottom floor of the apartment building and my head hit the concrete so hard that I felt my brain move forward and back. Talking about a headache.... nothing compares. Then he picked me up and with my back to his chest, he gave me a bear hug and swung me around and around and the gravity pulled my legs outward and I hit the door way with my foot and broke it. THAT was the last straw.
2 people like this
@Elixiress (3878)
6 Aug 08
I have been hit, but I have never been abused. Me and my boyfriend play fight and most the time it is fine, but there is the odd time that it goes wrong and one of us get hurt. One time I was threatening to push him off the bed and he tried to fight back to get on the bed and I lost my grip and he fell on weights and hurt his back. But it was an accident, so I just hugged him and appoligised and everything was fine. There was also a time that he hit me, I came up behind him and gave him a shock by grabbing his waist and shouting "boo" and as a reflex reaction he spun round and accidently hit me with his hand on my face as he spun. It really hurt and made a proper slapping noise and yes he did do the sorry thing and I did forgave him, because I know he didn't mean it.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Aug 08
I have never been hit nor have I been at the point to hit a person. SORRY isnt the universal forgive-all response. People who have anger or abusive issues like that need help. There is no talking it through.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
5 Aug 08
you are so right. sorry does not cut it at all
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 08
I have been abused in my current relationships in more ways than one. My boyfriend have kicked me, pushed me into walls and choked me. He says he's so sorry it won't happen again but he has done it again and i stay because he is a good talker. He is also a cheater, he hasn't done that in awhile that i know of because i always find out because its with his ex and she tells me when it happens. He lies all the time but i stay because i do love him but everyone always says that. I guess i'm still hoping he will change. I have hit him only when he hits me first but thats still not right, it just puts more fuel on the fire. Sometimes i wish i could just leave but it's very hard to just walk away. So if your in that situation, and you are strong enough to leave, do it. Don't wait till it gets worse, because it always does.
2 people like this