Do you get revenge or hand out pay-back for wrongs done to you?

Well I don't really see it as being a doormat. I just don't see how two wrongs can make a right. Consequences will follow each action naturally. And natural consequences are often much more powerful than anything we can think of. I can respond in kind to any wrong that is done to me, but I don't waste time thinking about ways to get my pay back. Once I dealt with it, it's done. Natural consequences work by themselves. A cheating partner won't be trusted, a friend that lies won't be believed, etc. - the cheating partner will have trouble finding someone who will trust him/her- the friend will find that people are not paying much attention to him/her those consequences don't even need my intervention. Don't get me wrong, I don't take lightly being wronged, I just don't believe in revenge or pay back.It takes too much negative energy:)

Hi mommyboo, In my experiences, I prefer to confront the person who hurt me and express whatever I want to in front of her and leave...Then will never talk back to the person and forget that she still exists. I had this experienced with one friend whom I trusted and helped a lot in her life then one day, I learned that she was criticizing me, it was her weakness really to talk about people and she was doing it to other friends but me, being with her in her most difficult times, I never thought she will do it, so, I confronted her and after that I never talk to her again!

I have to admit, I am usually called a coward by my brothers because of my forgiving attitude. I don't know. But I just can't help thinking of others more than myself. Even with my wife, whenever I am having some disputes with my friends, she would always say that I should somehow learn to be cold, which I can't. I've learned to understand the motives behind anyone's actions. Sometimes, people tend to bully over others because of family exclusion. And even if it comes that I am the one bullied, I still see that I won't fight back over some meddlers like those. I always see reasons more than getting even. And I want to ask as well, why are some so unforgiving?

I don't really revenge or to that effect when someone commit a sin to me. Yes, I do get angry. But I let my angry subsides first before facing the situation and the person again. I won't let my anger ruled my right thinking.

Oh geez boo, this is kinda hard to answer. I believe in Karma and it seems to like me, because it gets back to people who treat me with disrespect without my having to lift a finger most times! lol Like you, I have a healthy sense of myself and tremendous self respect. I'll hand out a tongue lashing when warrented, though I try to keep it light unless I'm so pissed I just let my fingers do the talking. But I never hold grudges. Ever. Life's too short to wallow in negativity. And yes I firmly believe that people deserve the consequences for their bad behaviour and should be prepared to take them no matter what form they come in. So don't piss me off and I won't send bad Karma after you! LOL

When I was a kid, yes, I wanted to get even. After I grew up I noticed that 'You reap what you sow' and 'What goes around, comes around' is very true. If someone lies one me, and that lie hurts someone else, I will go and straiten out the lie to the person it was told. Other than that I do nothing. I have set back and observed things, and it is true that the person sowing crap will eventually reap a load down the road. They will be found out for what they are if they don't change their ways. I don't need to do a thing where they are concerned. It takes care of its self. Now I'm just to old to get involved in crap.

To me,i never think of paying back thing.I just go away and stay away from those kind of people.Nothings going to change if i fight with them or to deal with them.They're just a waste of time.And also,I dont feel gaining respect to myself if ever I fight back.I think its their nature to be like that.Just let God do the Good to them.:D

I treat people the way they treat me. Unfortunately, people don't like that. It tends to serve as a mirror of their own bad behavior so their reaction isn't always very nice (well, they weren't nice to begin with). If you want to call it payback, then that's okay with me, but I don't go out of my way to get revenge. I just quit a job, mainly because it wasn't the right job for me, but the last straw was my team leader. She left a very rude message on my voicemail asking for a report. I wasn't aware that I had to file one (I only just started this job a week before). I called her back and apologized for not faxing it, and told her I would do it when I could and hung up on her. She didn't like that. In fact, she called me back screaming at me that she wanted me off her team. She got what she wanted because when I got home I sent an e-mail off to her boss that I was quitting. I have another job I'm starting next month any way, but if I had stayed at that job, then I feel like I'm just sending a message that it's okay to yell at me when I don't do what you want and that's just wrong. As far as anything else goes, I firmly believe that what goes around, comes around and those who mistreat others in any way will surely get what's coming to then eventually.

i am totally all for revenge i always get revenge and right now i am working on a plan of revenge for my ex after he treated me like sh!t i still cant believe he told me so many lies! how can crappy people think they can do such things and get away with it? sometimes i really dislike the human race!!!

I guess it depends on what they have done. The trouble for me, is I was bought up in believing in an eye for an eye and that if someone crossed me then they had to accept that there would be consequences. It is not fine for people to do bad things and get away with it and sometimes that has to be a consequence. But, in saying that I am also a big believer in Karma and that if I wait long enough then it will happen!

Hmmm. If I'm not getting good customer service, I will make sure the management knows. But I'm not rude or obnoxious about it. I just figure they need to know that employees might be ruining their business. I don't believe in getting revenge. I try to use the Bible as my life instruction manual, and it does say in Romans 12:19-21: Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. I always figure that God has a much better plan than I could ever imagine.

i wont let myself be treated badly and if i think i have been or been back stabbed it takes a lot to keep me from going into revenge mode.. i have an awful revengeful side that i am working on lol.. but it takes a lot to set me off but once i am i dont forgive easy.. but ive been doing well the last couple of years.. mostly because i am away from negative things that would add and set it off.. work in progress

Hey mommyboo, I am definitely the type to get revenge. I can let something go once in awhile if need be. But if I get the chance I much prefer sweet revenge. I don't like anyone to take advantage of me or lie, to get over on me in any way. If they do there will be hell to pay. I am not the type to be played. I have fought too hard to get where I am. It has taken me a long time to get to the point where I will not let anyone walk all over me ever again. I expect to be showed the same respect that I show.

I don't believe I can get anything of value from revenge, except dirtying my hands. I believe that nature will take its due course. Something given out will always return to the source of origin. That is the law of nature. What you give is what you get, and I would leave any of that vengeance to a spiritual being (God).

karma is the law of pay back. so i don't have to worry about going out of my way to make someone hurt, or feel bad, or whatever. i just allow the world to dish out it's own payback. and trust me, it's always better then anything we can think of

What comes to mind when I read this is Vengense is mine said the Lord and I live by that rule. It is not my place to get even with something that someone has done to me. Now, I am not saying I don't get upset over it. I just don't see any point in trying to get even with the person. I am bringing myself down to their level and I have never and will never let that happen. I don't consider myself a doormat either. There are just more important things to worry about than getting even with someone.

Hi Mommyboo, I normally believe "what goes around comes around". Revenge can be sweet at times, but that is not always the way to go. I believe in reporting employees for doing a bad job to the public, I do question if I feel I am being overcharged for something, I do question a lier about their lies, I will confront a cheater. These to me are things that should be done. How else are you to know if you are really getting wronged, and whether it was done deliberately or accidentally. People are human, and do and will may mistakes. Questioning it may be the first step to take before going to revenge. I do not think anyone should be mistreated, disrespected, or made a fool of in public. You should receive what you give, so if you respect others, they should be able to respect you too. If they can't, then, question it. Some people dont realize they are being disrespectful, or that they are bullying someone. They are very dominant and set in their ways. They intimidate others without realizing they are doing it. These can be the dangerous ones. Telling them about this may help, then again it may only make matters worse. There are ways of talking to these people and some may be grateful for the help, others may be very resentful. No one should be a doormat to anyone else. We need to pick ourselves up and take a good look inside ourselves. Why are we being doormats? What can we do about it? It is really up to the individual to improve themselves. It depends on how much you want to take before you take a step to make things right. Have a nice day my friend..

In general I try not to. But sometimes, if you get me mad enough I will. It sort of depends on whether it is just thoughtless or careless or actually intended to be rude or mean. I do stand up for myself though, which is not quite the same thing as payback.

NO not usually. Its hard for me to be nasty to someone, its just not in me. I dont mean that im perfect by any means, im sure i have said a few things under my breath about those who do me wrong, but i cant really recall any time if at all, that i got revenge so to say. What is the point of doing that, its not gonna change what they did to you, it doesnt make it hurt any less, you might get a moment of satisfaction, but it passes adn the wrong doing hasnt been undone.

You are so right,so many people think that they can get away with treating people like s*** and that they are untouchable.You are worth more than that,we all are.I wish i could let things go and i have always been taught by my mother NOT to stick up for myself,which is terrible advice,but why should someone be allowed to get away with treating you like that?.If someone treats you badly and you react it's retalliation and they had it coming.An eye for an eye.