does the children have the right to be mad to thier parents for abandoning them?

I'm sorry this happened to you. There seems to have been some real problems between your parents when you were born. I don't think they really forgot about you but couldn't support or raise you properly. They couldn't even get along with each other. I don't know where you are from and what your cultural background is, but it looks like there was no room for you in the new families they formed maybe becauset he new spouses didn't find it acceptable to take you in. After all, you were safe and sound with your grandparents, received an education, and were well taken care off. Who knows what may have happened to you, if your grandparents wouldn't have taken you in. Be thankful for that. Now, it is only natural for a child or a person of any age really, to want to know their own parents. It's part of your heritage and the person you are. You have a feeling of abandonment and want to know why they didn't take care of you and just 'stored' you with your grandparents. I don't think you'll ever get a satisfactory answer from your parents or the love and care you desire. The circumstances they chose to put themselves into make reconciliation very difficult, especially as long as you are still as bitter as you are about the whole thing. What they did wasn't nice but may have been the only why for them to deal with the situation at the time, at least from their perspective. As it is, you may never know the whole story. My suggestion is to move on with your life. You are young. Count your blessing, focus on the good things in life, focus on your education, your work, and eventually starting your own family. You will eventually find the happiness and fulfillment you so desperately seek. You may even have a relationship with your parents although it will most likely never be in the way you desire. For you to have any relationship with your parents, forgiveness would be the first step. You childhood is done, nothing can be changed and taken back. Anything you may have with your parents is an adult relationship, a friendship of sorts maybe. It looks like they are willing to meet with you. You may eventually be able to talk with them about the situation. But you would have to move past the bitterness you currently feel towards them. Be open minded. You don't have to forget what happened, just maybe forgive. It takes a great person to forgive something like that. I believe you have it in you. Good luck!

Hi! I think you have the right to get mad at your parents, not that I'm saying you should be. By having their own families and abandoning you and your brother (is he with you?), I think both your parents are selfish for doing that. They just played with love like it was just some thing then when you and your brother was brought in this world, they didn't like each other anymore and just abandoned you to your grandparents. That truly is cruel in my opinion. My father left us when I was 9. He left a letter telling us he'll be working on another country to earn money (because currencies from some countries, if changed to our local currency, is a large amount that is truly helpful in meeting a family's needs). But three years later, we found out that he was just in the same country and with another woman. At first, I really got mad. But now, I'm very okay with it. I still think I'm lucky because at least, I got to spend time with him when I was a kid. There are many other people who don't even know who their father is. Also in my religion (Catholic), one of our 10 Commandments is #4: "Honor your mother and your father." You can think that at least, you know your parents. They may not be doing what they're supposed to, but at least your grandparents have given you all the love and care that you need. With your attitude, it shows that your grandparents really did a great job in raising you. You have the right to be mad at them but it's up to you if you will be. Hostile feelings can just lead to more hostile feelings and thoughts. I hope this helps, take care! :D

You have every reason to be emotional and please never apologize for being so. I am glad to see however that you are being rational about this in not holding resentment towards your parents. It is always possible they did not forget you as much as it seemed. You were raised by your grandparents and no questions they are to be loved and appreciated by you for doing that. But even they say they had issues with your father. Often families can be the major reasons two people break up. I know not your fathers background and if your grandparents were right about them. But you may not either. When you finally come to a point where you can stand in front of one or both of them and ask why they did what they did you may get a response you never expected. Of course you are hurt and this will effect your view of life for some time to come but until you know for sure what really happened, from your mother and or father, you will not be able to resolve this. And you really do need to do that for yourself. In stepping back from the hate you must have and letting yourself find out why you will be able to finally resolve this for yourself. You must of course prepare yourself for that answer. Remember this......just because they abandoned you has nothing to do with you. NOTHING. I can see in your words that you are a good man. Step up to this and resolve it once and for all. not for them...not for your grandparents or even your brothers and sisters. Do it for you. All of your future relationships depend on it.

This is natural for you to feel this way. And yes you have a right to be mad at your parents. One thing to think about though is they gave you to someone who loved you and nurtured you throughout your years. It doesn't excuse what they did. But you are luckier than most kids that have been adopted out. Some of these kids don't even know who their Mom or Dad is. Did you give them a chance to explain their side of what happened. Your grandparents are truly your Mom and Dad. They helped you through everything. But maybe you can come to the point that you can have a friendship with your parents. It will be a slow tedious thing to build up a trust of them. But it just might be worth it.

Yes, it's perfectly normal to get mad at your parents for leaving you just like that. You definitely never asked to be here in this world, as parents can't choose their babies, babies can't definitely choose their parents! But you should know it isn't good to keep a grudge to other people so you might as well release all your anger and talk to your parents, tell them how you feel so you'll get over it finally and move on with your life. God bless you always...

I think you have every right to be emotional. And I think that it is alright to have angry feelings towards your parents. You felt abandoned. It is really good taht your grandparents were there for you and raised you. It's not easy because you have been hurt all these years, and those feelings aren't going to change over night. Thank you for sharing your feelings.

I went through a similar experience and it is one of the hardest thing that I have been throgh. My mom and dad left me with a foster family to raise me until I was in high school. I always felt like I did not belong in the foster family. Anyway, once I made it to high school I moved in with my dad and I was much happier. It was nice to know that my parents really did care. I never really got close to my mom, but I do visit with her often.

No one should ever apologize for being too emotional and everyone is entitled to their feelings no matter how wrong those feelings may seem. It sounds to me like you not only feel abandoned by your parents, but other family members too. As you get older you will hopefully form a family of your very own. What your parents did was not necessarily because they didn't love you. They probably felt that leaving you with a solid couple, your grandparents, to raise you, was the best thing for you. If you can see that side of it, perhaps you can feel less angry. You don't have to be best friends with your parents, just maybe a bit more understanding and give yourself a break.

Yes I do think kids have the right to be angry and even hate the parents the people who gave birth to them and supposed to love them unconditionally

That is so sad. Yes the love of a parent is something that cannot be compared and I really feel for you. You seem like a really nice, caring person even though you must feel such angst at times. What you have undergone has made you who you are, and you should thank your grandparents because they were there for you. There's alot of kids out there that have noone to turn to and i'm sure it wasn't something that your grandparents expected of thier daughter either but they more than willingly took on the task of raising you and it seems they've done a good job. Keep this in mind. Anyone can make a baby but it takes someone special to be a parent!

my dad abandoned my family when i was 15 years old and left us hanging in debts and hardship. i am still angry and i dont think i will ever be okay with it. i have no father. that's what i tell others when they asked. they can think whatever they like.

Yes, people do have the right to be mad about their parents. It can't be helped that you were abandoned, there will always be that feeling of being neglected for your part. However, don't too mad about it, keep your head open, your parents had reasons too y'know. What you need now is some closure, try talking to your parents and pick up the pieces from you guys left off, meet your sisters and brothers and be one big family again.

I am very sorry, I am not sure I understand the whole story, so I can only comment on what I think I understand. It sounds to me like you have a right to be angry at your parent and your grandparents. Your grandparents seem like they forced your mom into a situations, because they didn't like your dad. Your mom didnt take full responsiblity for you either. Do you have all the details about what happened? I think you will forgive once you know everything and move on. Be well! Also I wonder if you have a better childhood then your brother?

You don't have to say sorry for being emotional, Sometimes things happened in our life that we don't understand. Sometimes we search for an answer for all the question that stuck in our mind. But as i read this. I can see why that things happen, Yes somehow its difficult to live in that situation, you really feel empty. But inspite of that you should be thankful. For what? thankful for the pain, for emptiness that you feel, because from there, you can be a better person and you can be a better one. You yourself learn the lesson and learn how to value family. From their you will see the importance of having a family and the responsibilities of having a family. From there you know how it feel to have a unsuccessful family. And from there you will learn how to value life, how to value others feeling. Please don't get mad to your parent because im sure they don;t want it to happen, its just happen. Learn how to forgive, the real meaning of forgiveness and from there you will realized why it happen. Forgiveness makes your life complete.