Jealous people at work..how do you handle them?

@brisk123 (2826)
India
August 8, 2008 5:25am CST
How would you deal with such kind of people at work?Ignoring them best as you can, is that the only solution?My fiance has to bear this everytime.He knows a lot about his project and he is very efficient in handling his job,but his senior doesn't approve of him.He wants to control him around and take credit alone for everything he does.The other officials doesn't know about this,they think this manager is very good and handles everything nicely,whereas the truth is my fiance does everything,and at the end what he gets is a poor rating by this manager.This is affecting him so much.I don't want him to leave the job,he worked hard for it to achieve it.Please advice.
1 person likes this
15 responses
@IInsanity (290)
• Malaysia
8 Aug 08
i think your fiance should either complain to the management because this is abuse. or he can deal with this matter on his own by telling his senior to stop bothering him and take credit of his hard work. it's really unfair for your fiance. the fact that the other officials don't know about it should prompt your fiance to tell them about what is really going on under their noses. =) stay strong! and good luck to your fiance!
1 person likes this
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
8 Aug 08
Thank you, my friend.You know,he was so happy about his new project.He thought, finally he can prove himself but again,his bad luck,the management put that manager in his project to assist.He is senior,have some few years experience so he commands around everybody handling the project.I know this is abuse,I told him to report to other senior officials but he says that this manager has a good rapport with management.He alone cannot do anything,and others don't like to speak up.My fiance is the one who handles everything in project,so this is effecting him more than others.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
8 Aug 08
oh.. that's really bad. guess gotta tell your fiance to toughen it up there. his time of justice will come =) good luck! and happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@kate635 (127)
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
We cannot avoid such kind of people. If he leaves his job he may also encounter such in his next workplace. The best thing is to deal with the problem. If it is robbing him of the credit that belongs to him then he should act. He should confront his manager about it. If it doesn't work then that's the time he should report it to the management but of course he should be careful in doing so as this may discredit him the more knowing the manager holds a superior position than him. The best thing to do is to put everything in writing, lay down all the pros and cons, the proof that he was the one who actually did most of the part in the project. His writing should be effective enough as to convince the management.
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
I think this would be a good idea.I never thought of that.This seems like a safer way to take action against the wrong doer.He needs to complain to the management,sooner the better,I guess.
@pkraj111 (2459)
• India
8 Aug 08
Well there are these sort of guys everywhere. You cannot change everyone.After all he is the boss and boss is always right. Try to improve your work and change your job
1 person likes this
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
We cannot follow this rule everytime,I mean there should be a way to change it, so that even the juniors can also have a right to say and not get tortured mentally and treated badly.The fact is he is very good at his work,and capable enough to handle things on his own without anybody interfering him.He knows his job too well,even though he is just a junior.He is trying hard to achieve his target.At work,his colleagues appreciates him a lot since he is very helpful to everyone.They prefer to take his help rather then going to that mean manager.The mean manager he has 6 years of experience,he too is good at his work but now since he is senior,he doesn't want to help others and wants juniors to beg him to help them.My fiance,never goes to him.Why would he go,when he had learnt to do his job well?He got twice the opportunity to prove himself,and everytime this manager made some excuses and didn't allow him to take part.I guess,he is scared.Maybe he has this insecurity,because he knows too well that my fiance he is good and competant enough and can take hold of the same position as he is right now.I am not boasting or praising my fiance,but sometimes I wonder how do people put up with such people at their work?Don't they feel exploited?
• United States
8 Aug 08
ooh, that's a tough one. I guess it would depend on the specifics... If your fiancee is in on some of the meetings with his manager, he can always just make the manager look bad "inadvertently" I'm pretty good at doing that... theres tons of ways to get under a manager's skin without causing too much trouble, but it would definately depend on very specific instances... say, if the manager tells him to do something that he knows is wrong, he should ask the manager "are you sure that's what you want?" and most managers will say (if not shout) "yes, now do it" or some variant... then just make sure everyone knows that the manager got exactly what he wanted by saying "I worked in what you asked me to work in" or whatever... I know the advice isn't great, but small victories can make a job worthwhile, and sooner or later the manager will be seen for what he really is... gloryhounds like that usually get found out sooner rather than later. as long as your fiance keeps up the good work, other people will notice (hopefully the higher ups will too!) and he'll make a reputation for himself, but he has to stay there for that to happen.
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@brisk123 (2826)
• India
8 Aug 08
Thank you for the advice.But,you know what he is too good,I don't think he can do it.I told him many times not to keep quiet and make the manager rule.Manager is most probably insecure about his job,if my fiance does better than him, he will have chances to get promotion and he don't want that to happen.I guess,I should just leave things to God,I just hope my fiance gets what he deserves,and manager should stop intefering in his professional life.Good day!
1 person likes this
@vaishalik (237)
• India
9 Aug 08
i never care for those kinda people. infact they inspire me to work even more harder and smarter so that they'll be more jealous... and also i feel that if people r feeling jealous for you that means you r totally progressing your way up.... just dont give a damn about them...
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
I understand what you are trying to tell me but my dear my friend,sometimes in certain job/company no matter how much you work hard,give effort or intelligent,it is of no use if your senior officials or bad.This is why I hate this rating system by seniors in a company.They keep playing with their juniors.Of course,some seniors are good and they rate you accordingly,but everybody is not lucky enough to work with good people.He would have quitted the job,but then circumstances are also forcing him to stick to this company.All he wants is that manager to stop poking his nose in his works.I guess,this is too much to ask from that manager.
• India
11 Aug 08
True you are my friend, when boss is changed all rules & regulations are changed. So be smart to change the mode of working to please the boss. Yes everyone will be not lucky, but we can try.
@Gesusdid (1681)
• United States
9 Aug 08
uhhh yeah pretty simple to me that its ignore them , your getting a check at the end of the week more money for you in your pockect in your bank account, if you lash out then its at risk to lose your job , your income , and for what , over some he said she said nonsense ?!! just look at it like that , your broke and fired from the job, eatting noodeles every night while the one who got your fired STILL has a job and might even have your position too ..thats a bad look , heck might even drive the wrong person to kill them ..
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
This is the problem.He cannot say against him,and the other junior colleagues are also afraid of their rating and job security.Nobody wants to lose their job and get poor rating.How I wish they have some organization to take action against such mean people.This would atleast give opportunity to those who deserve it.
@shorty08322 (1270)
• United States
9 Aug 08
will let them be jealous it is nothing you can do
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
I know there is nothing he can do alone,but if unity is there among his colleagues then atleast he could have done something about it.He could have brought this matter to notice.If he alone raises his voices,even the management shuts him up by giving some false excuses.
• United States
9 Aug 08
Complaining probably wont get him anywhere, but tooting his own horn might.. See, if he complains then he looks bad. If he becomes outspoken and says stuff like, Hey what do you about my idea. Or says, Let me update you on my project. As leaving, if he has the skill he can apply it anywhere, and he doesnt have to settle for a toxic enviroment.
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
You know, all this ideas I have already put in his mind,but you won't believe this this mean manager,he is too smart.Whenever he wants some details,he will sent somebody else to confirm or either take the documents and review alone,then you can imagine what he will do.Neither he shows anyone his rating and review details nor anyone dare to ask him.The problem here is also with "unity".People are scared to lose their job,they don't dare to speak up and he,alone can't do anything about it.many times he raise his voice,many times he was rated badly though his performance was good.
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
to ignore his manager is not good, his manager will always take the chances because your fiance never complain. i think he will tell the management about his work performance and about the relationship between your fiance and the manager.
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
I am sick of that mean manager and I feel so bad at times to see him like this.He doesn't deserve such bad treatment.There are people who don't even do their work properly but still get good rating,since they run behind this manager everytime praising him for nothing.My fiance,he cannot pretend,what he is not.He cannot run behind manager,praise him,get him gifts and take favors like some of his colleagues do.Management,I don't trust them too now.He made a complaint,but that fellow made some excuse and stop the matter there only.It is hopeless,maybe he should start looking for a job in a better environment where everything is free and fair.Everybody is recognised and appreciated.
• India
8 Aug 08
I would suggest the Gandhi strategy for this. Let the manager do what he wants...infact give it to him easily. Humans loose interest in things which happen too much the way they want them to happen. If your fiance is no challenge to the manager than the manager would loose interest anyways. And if that doesn't work give him a sudden blast to shatter him. Either implode or explode [;-)]
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
8 Aug 08
He has been following this Gandhian principle only,remember the three statues of monkeys,but I guess this is not going to work anymore.Day by day this is effecting him due to this he cannot put his 100% his work now.He is always tense.I wonder why some people are like that?Why can't they be good to one another?instead of trying to pull each other down,why can't this people walk hand in hand and help the company to grow,but thanks for reminding me of Gandhian strategy.
• United States
8 Aug 08
I soppose, if nothing will really work, your fiance should just tough it out, and bear with it until the projects over, then he may report it later. Life isn't aways fair, the harder the obstacles are, the more rewarding it'll feel once you have accomplished it.
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
9 Aug 08
Harder the obstacles are,the more rewarding it will be..well,this happens to be true in most cases but here the obstacle is his mean manager,who can never be removed unless he plans to go else where and shift to some other project.
@intimate36 (1416)
• Pakistan
8 Aug 08
Ask him to be patient, and find a way, to prove others , that the work done by him is forwarded by others... It is the part of life...there are people, who are always eager to reach the dais, to be garlanded and avoid working hard.... just like the horse , who runs fast to win the race... but never gets a trophy... Jacky is there to receive the trophy, and horse goes unnoticed
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
8 Aug 08
This is hard to accept,but it is definitely true.He has enough patience but sometimes he too gets irritated.He tries to remain cool,and not say a thing against him, but I guess this is only making things worst for him.Thanks my friend, you said the right example!
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
8 Aug 08
There are situations that happen in life this that aren't fair. Your fiance should probably confront this man and let him know how he feels. Your fiance seems like a competent man that could probably find a good job anywhere.
@brisk123 (2826)
• India
8 Aug 08
Ya you are right,I guess he should look for some other good company,but then he loves his job other than that manager.I wish that manager leaves him alone.He is competent,I mean he does his job well,he learns well and does better than his other colleagues.This is the main issue.He already did that,and the result was his poor rating and review.I just wish he gets transfer somewhere,and thanks dear for listening to my woe.
• India
8 Aug 08
I think they will be dealed by praising them.
• United States
8 Aug 08
When these awful women walk down the hall glaring at me and looking me up and down I give them a big happy grin and move on, it urks them and to know that is good enough for me lol