My son has started to raise his hand to HIT us!!

India
August 8, 2008 8:08pm CST
My one year old has started to raise his hands to beat us. In the begining i too hit his hand when he raised it at me but then i saw it was of no use as he kept hitting me. Now i dont hit him back but he still hits us. I dont know how to stop him from doing so. Whenever i stop him from doing something he hits me. Sometimes he gets up from his sleep and hits me to. I am getting worried at this behaviour of his, what if he sticks to this habit. Is there any way to handle this kind of behaviour??
1 person likes this
8 responses
@irishidid (8712)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Oh for god sake. A one year old doesn't beat anyone. He has no concept of what he's doing. The only way he would know to hit is if he has been hit. I don't think the problem is with the kid.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
9 Aug 08
sometimes, even a one year old kid will learn to do things through watching telly. they don't know if what they are watching is right or wrong. if they find it interesting or funny, they'll surely develop the habit of following it. so, parents should atleast screen what their kids are watching or it might fireback to them one day.
@irishidid (8712)
• United States
10 Aug 08
That's true. Even slapstick that may look funny on television can mislead a child into thinking something is okay and a one year old can't reason between right and wrong.
• India
10 Aug 08
Yes he does, like to slap and we have never slapped him. My mom dosnt raise her voice / hand on him but he likes to hit her all the time. And whenever we tell him not to do something he hits us. I think he thinks its fun to hit people. Now i am trying to talk to him and make him understand that it hurts when he hits, lets hope it works.
• United States
10 Aug 08
My daughter was hitting at six months because she thought it was funny. Everyone laughed and called her "Bam Bam". I would stop her and firmly tell her "it hurts". I would also hold her hand and caress my face and say softly. I repeated and then said "thank you" When she hits my 4 year old, I do the same. It's been working. She's one now and rarely hits us. She's understanding better.
• India
10 Aug 08
It came to me as a surprise when he hit me and i didnt know what to do so i also hit him back. But since you all say that if i explain it to him that it hurts then he would stop i would like to try it out. My mom dosnt yell at him or hit him but he loves to hit her. He would just get and go to her and hit her, i find it very annoying but i guess i need to be patient.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
9 Aug 08
when i was a kid, my mom would not tolerate such things. whenever i did something wrong, she first would talk to me about my mistake and then hit my butt with a belt. ofcourse, she would explain to me, too why she needed to hit me. it worked for me and i never ever hurt my mom ever. i suggest you start talking to your son. he might just be one year old but he will surely listen to you if you will just talk to him.
• India
10 Aug 08
My mom did the same with me, she didnt hit me but she sure scolded me and explained to me why i was scolded. She also kept telling me what was right and wrong so as i grew big i understood what was right. Yes i have started to talk to my son and explain him that it hurts when he hits.
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
Hitting back your child may give him an impression that it is the right way to express oneself. Try to talk to him in a firm voice. No shouting as this may also trigger his wanting to hit you. Explain as gentle as possible that why you want him to stop doing something. Instead of shouting "NO!", why dont you try, "honey, you might hurt yourself if you play with it. " . I disagree with hitting as your child is in the stage where he imitates what people around him do. If you let it be, he might grow up to be violent.
• India
1 Sep 08
I have stopped hiting him back but he hasn't. Now i try to explain that it hurts when he hits us but i guess it would take time for him to understand. I know that it is not his intention to hit us cause he does it all of a sudden while playing! perhaps he has started to scratch us now!! We need to listen to him and what he wants to do or get beaten by him. I dont want him to be stubborn, the way he is now.
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
10 Aug 08
Hi Sangs,[i]I know it is nothing for the baby but it might mean something when you will also hit him back! Maybe try to tell him softly not to do it or say No whenever he will start hitting you! Or do something to divert his attention like singing and doing some hand movements with his hand..LOL! I have no son but I am just trying to imagine this! I know he will change once he will be corrected early![/i][em]
@lj2583 (19)
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
parenting is never an easy task. you need a lot of experience for you to raise your offspring well. anyways, regarding this matter, at least you realized that hitting, a form of punishment has no good effect for children. instead of this, why not try a reward. don't focus too much on the child's mistakes, rather focus on his/ her achievements and give some rewards. a word of appreciation is more than enough. this thing serves as your lesson... well, we indeed can learn from our experience. as a cliche says "experience is the best teacher". then, too, you also need to solicit from the experts advice. i'm talking about the experienced parents....
@dragon54u (31628)
• United States
9 Aug 08
At that age, he has no idea of hurting you. It's your reaction that encourages him to hit, he gets to see astonishment or anger or some other emotion. You will have to tell him that hitting someone is not nice, it hurts your feelings as well as your arm or whatever he's striking. Tell him that when you love someone you don't hit them. One year olds understand a lot more than people give them credit for. At the same time, parents tend to think that their children know what they're doing, but they really don't. They're simply looking for reactions and attention. Talk with him the next time he does after telling him no. Explain why, in very simple terms, he shouldn't hit. Then reward him with a hug and kiss for not hitting. That type of attention is much nicer than the anger or hurt that he sees when he hits you. My children went through that, too, and this method worked very well with them. When he strikes out in his sleep or when he first awakens, remember that he may still be semi-dreaming and don't be angry. Just talk to him and hug him. It will stop soon.
@foxyfire33 (10007)
• United States
9 Aug 08
When he hits, hold his hand firmly and say "NO"...maybe even sit him down and walk to a different room. Also when he is playing nicely and being gentle, praise him. Take his hand and rub your face with it, repeating "Nice" over and over. You just have to retrain him. By smacking his hand before, you taught him to hit when he doesn't get what he wants. Babies learn a lot more about human nature and behavior than we realize. My almost 21 month old already knows to yell at his toy cars if they don't do what he wants all from watching Daddy yell at the big cars when he can't fix them. But luckily he's also learned to rub his brothers' heads to say sorry when they get playing to rough.