Misbehaving Children

United States
August 10, 2008 10:48pm CST
My husband and I were sitting at a little leage football practice last week when a young child, maybe about 4 or 5 was making a spectical of himself. The child was obviously making everyone there miserible. He was there with an older man. Not sure if it was his parent or grand parent. He has throwing himself down kicking and screaming. For what purpose, I am not sure anyone knew. Next he got up and was climbing into the back of a pickup truck that was parked next to where we were sitting. Jumping up and down in the back of the pick up and hitting the truck with a stick that he picked up some where he was really being rowdy. He even climber up on top of the cab of the truck and stood up there yelling and stomping his feet. Come to find out, the pick up did not belong to the man he was with and he did not even know the people who owned it. I was appauled! My husband and I got up to wald to the restroom and when we returned we found our lawn chairs that we had been sitting in tied up with a rope to thet truck that the kid was terrorizing. He had apparently stold the rope out of the back of the truck. I was on the verge of jerking that kid up and spanking his little bottom when practice was finally over and I untied my chairs and gathered my kids and we left. As we waled to our vehicle I could hear the kid screaming because that man he was with told him it was time to go. I just cannot beleive that anyone would allow their kid, grand kid or what ever the case to act like this. My question ~~~ Do you beleive, like I do, if you allow your child to act like a fool is it YOUR FAULT when very one hates them and they have no friends? Is it not our responsibility to teach our children how to act acceptable in public? Don't you think it is just lazy to sit there and let a kid do anything they want just so you do not have to put the effort into fixing the problem? Personally, I think it is child abuse to allow a child to behave in this manner. He was destructive to other people's property, endangeing himself, and extremely disruptive to everyone there.
4 people like this
19 responses
@Browisn (782)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I agree that being responsible for a child and allowing him or her to act out in a dangerous or disruptive manner is a form of child abuse.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Aug 08
It is just down right LAZY to allow this to go on. I felt like that old man was just glad the kid was not bothering him!
@Browisn (782)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I guess some people just don't accept their responsibility. And, those are probably the same ones who would complain to the authorities if they were harassed or inconvenienced by someone else's unruly child.
@bmorehouse1 (1029)
• United States
11 Aug 08
For that man to allow that child to act like that was simply inexcusable! If that is how the child is allowed to act all the time, then he doesn't know any better. He needs to be taught was is acceptable and what is not. It is the adults responsibility to teach him that. Obviously that adult needs to be taught a thing or two as well!
• United States
11 Aug 08
Well said!
@Mamagee (392)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 08
I'm a mother and I feel it was vary embarrassing to let our children to behave in that manner. I always remind my children, if we are outside they should behave well and I don't like them to show their bad manner infront other people. you are right that it was our fault when we let our children do what ever they want infront other people. People will think that the parent have the same manner.
1 person likes this
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
11 Aug 08
My gosh~ That kid must had spoilt yours and your husband's day. We Chinese have a saying for these sort of kids and that is (loosely translated) they have no proper parental upbringing. The Chinese also believe that if a child misbehaved, it is the fault of the parents and teachers who had not taught their child properly. Of course, coming to the current generation of kids whereby there is more information (internet), and they are born into a generation of technology, this saying is all but a myth. Kids misbehaving nowadays does not mean a fault on the parents anymore, but a fault of the society. It's seen in the case of one of my cousin's family. My twin cousins are born in the same generation as me, and both of them are very well behaving. However, their younger brother who is raised by the same set of parents is born in this generation and my gosh! It is like he totally has no respect for the elders and authorities. Hehe.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Aug 08
I have seen this many times. Maybe as the parents are getting older they are tired. Sometimes they know this is their last child and they want to spoil them and let them stay a child longer. Our sociaty is changing. I agree. However, our basic values should remain the same.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Aug 08
Good day... I believe in the saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" however I think in the US, they pass laws against spanking a child, am I right? If so what other means that can be effective that a parent can use to discipline the child? I mean some child like the one you've mention are just hard headed or plain menace, that soft advice and even scolding are ineffective, they sometimes need a little pain in their bottom to get the message through. Without that means how could a parent discipline the child? Too much freedom and very less responsibility are a risky combination for a growing rowdy child.
• United States
11 Aug 08
Totally irresponsible of that caretaker, regardless of whether it was actually his son or not. I am afraid I would have had to say something to him after the kid tied my chairs to that pick up. I do believe it is the responsibility of the adult in charge of a child to make sure that child behaves in a respectful manner, especially in public! If they are allowed to get away with that kind of behaviour, children will grow up with no respect to anyone around them. On the other side of that,(mind you, I am NOT condoning the adult's ignoring the problem child) I wonder if people are afraid they are going to be reported for child abuse if they take action against the child in a situation like this. I mean, it happens all the time. Someone grabs a child up for throwing a temper tantrum in the mall or something, and the next thing you know, they are surrounded by security people. I have seen this happen several times at the mall. My thought on that is that if the child is taught the correct way to act at home, he is going to behave in public, most of the time. And in those rare instances when they do act out in public, sometimes a look or a whisper in the ear is all it takes. In conclusion, the man was terribly irresponsible for not taking care of that problem from the very beginning.
1 person likes this
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
11 Aug 08
Well, there are really parents that are like that, just let their children do things, be it good or bad. They don't know how to discipline children, they just want to have kids but don't know how to teach them and let them grow with respect to other people especially people who are older than them. It's really the parents' fault if a child is acting like that, who else could be blamed.
1 person likes this
@fcangel9 (51)
• United States
11 Aug 08
Some kids misbehave just because they can... my son has had the occasional temper tantrum in public, but i always acknowledge the problem and correct it, no matter where we are. I too cannot stand it when children are allowed to do whatever they please. I think when a child's behavior is that out of control it lies with the parents or grandparents. I couldnt see myself sitting through all of that though, you have more patience than i do.
@pam210 (345)
• United States
12 Aug 08
I agree with you. Children will misbehave and even the best of kids have their moments but it is up to the parents to react. I know that some experts say let a child have their temper tantrum and ignore them but not in public. It is one thing to let a child scream and cry in there room where they are being ignored but to do it in public they are getting all the attention they want. Everyone is stopping and looking and commenting. That is when you need to remove the child from the situation. I was recently at a company picnic and this child was really acting up and the parent was so busy having their own fun that they didn't even realize what was going on. The child was so out of hand that they almost injured another child. Another adult ended up saying something and then the mother got all apologetic and put the kid in time out. At that point I blame the parent. You let them get away with it and kids will feed off other kids. You must always watch your children and take responsibility for their actions.
@laglen (19779)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I agree with you that this is the adults fault. I think it is more negligence than abuse, but wrong just the same. was this man doing anything at all or just sitting there? I would have said something to him. What a nut!
@lingli_78 (12841)
• Australia
11 Aug 08
wowww... that is really amazing that the old man can just sit down and let the boy do all those stuffs... i pity the owner of the truck as the child might have done some damages to it... how incredible some adults can be... i am not a parent yet... but i am very sure that i won't let my child do all of those things... i might have said something to the old man and the boy if i were in your position... i can't stand behaviours like that... take care and have a nice day...
@tigger44 (144)
• United States
11 Aug 08
It seems like now in days people dont care what their kids do. I know when I was growing up if I did something like that I would get a switch and/or a belt taken to me. I think as you do that it is the parents falut for the child to act like he did. Its there fault because they wont do anything for it. I would not go as far as saying that it is child abuse.
@kezabelle (2985)
11 Aug 08
Maybe the child was having a bad day maybe the person with him doesnt care for him all the time so had no clue how to deal with the behaviour, ok so he was annoying you but I tell you now if anyone even thought about smacking my child let alone did it id be having serious words with them. I have two girls they can be awful sometimes when we are out, they are children I dont expect them to behave perfectly all the time I understand that some times they will be naughty and we deal with it, id hate anyone to judge me for being abusive to mychild because of a couple of hours seeing me with my child on a bad day. Fair enough id not allow my child to behave that badly but like I say there could have been a reason for him behaving like that or that he didnt stop the child, thats not an excuse but he is a child and they cant be perfect all day every day.
• United States
11 Aug 08
No it's definately the parents! I'd have taken my kid home so fast it would make his little head spin.
• Philippines
11 Aug 08
I certainly agree that the kid's behavior is tolerated by the parent. In this kind of attitude, I can say that the parent has to be blamed because the kid was not given proper training on how to act accordingly in public and how to respect other people's property and to also respect the privacy of others. What did the man doing? just watch his kid acting rowdy in public? it's a shame to him. I think, how the children behaved reflects upon what kind of home they come from. So, then parents should teach their children to be respectful and courteous to others.
@alori61 (344)
• United States
11 Aug 08
As a parent I may have used the outside activity to allow my kid(s) to burn off some excess energy but. . . . my children were never never ever allowed to throw temper tantrums (I had way to many to let that go on) and I guarentee the minute they would have gone near someone elses vehicle they would have gotten their back side whipped till they had a reason to scream. Had I been the owner of the vehicle that parent/grandparent would have gotten an earful from me, and you showed much more restraint then I would have over the lawn chairs as well. I used to work in a toystore. One day a mother was with her daughter in the barbie aisle, screaming bloody murder because she wanted a very expensive barbie that her mother wouldn't buy her. After being forced to listen to this childs screams for 30 minutes as the mother just stood there telling her what she could have I walked over to the little girl, calmly knelt down next to her, told her she better take one of the barbies her mom was offering before she got nothing and she was a really lucky little girl cause if she had been my daughter with all that screaming she would have already been in the bathroom getting her bottem whipped and there would have been no barbie when it was over. The little girl took one of the dolls her mom was offering, and calmly walked to the checkout stand. The mother looked at me and said "I don't know how you did that but thanks." Unfortunately too many parents are afraid to disapline thier children these days and the kids rule the house.
• United States
11 Aug 08
Some parents just don't care how their kids act in public and some are terrified to discipline them for the laws that have passed now. I think it is just awful to let a child act that way in public. It not only looks bad on the child, but a lot worse on the parent or gaurdian with them. If things keep going the way they are now with laws against discipline and people just not caring at all, can you imagine the future.
@tlb0822 (1412)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I think all children tend to throw temper tantrums, but that said the parent should know when enough is enough. When the child starts destroying other peoples property then the parent needs to step in and do something. I mean throwing a tantrum on the ground, yeah let them go, they will eventually stop. I think that parents are responsible for their childrens behavior, but children do have free will. You could have a perfectly mannered child, and something can set them off to have a tantrum. No child is perfect. I think the parents should have defiantly stepped in and done something in this case. It just seems a little extreme it was more then an average temper tantrum.
• United States
11 Aug 08
All I can say is that if it were my child,I know he didn't belong to you. But if that were my child I would not have gone to the bathroom,to my car,or waited till we got home. I would have tore into his bottom right there in front of everyone. I have 3 kids and they may be a little out of control at home at times but they do know how to act in public.I have had to swat a bottom or 2 in public. But after a couple of times and the embaressment the kids feel it doesn't take long for them to stop the behavior. I am apalled that someone who was in charge of that child could let them act that way. As far as the truck. If it had been mine. I would have whipped the child even though he wasn't mine. Then I would sue the responsible adult for any damages that might have occured. That would teach them to keep their kids in line.