Would You Rather Be Respected or Feared?

@acevivx (1566)
Philippines
August 12, 2008 7:18am CST
If you were a boss in an office, would you rather your subordinates respected you rather than feared you or the other way around? Would you prefer your children respected you rather than feared you and do you think you would be able to accomplish more if you were respected rather than feared?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@valeria1 (2723)
• United States
12 Aug 08
Respect is forever and fear goes away as soon as you do not fear anymore, so to answer you of course Respect is the most important one!
1 person likes this
• Ghana
12 Aug 08
Yes, I concord. Respect is long lasting but fear diminishes to zero when you fear no more. The aftermath of zero fear is destructive and disrespect to the highest degree.When subordinates are fedup with a beared boss, then they strike that could lead to boss loosing his position or going on transfer. A food for taught.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Hi Valeria and Tonnecheg. Well said. It is indeed true that when one is respected it is a positive thing and it comes out of admiration and recognition of one's positive attributes. Fear can indeed lead someone to obey and do what is required but it could also lead to negative reactions to the prejudice of the one who inspired the fear.
@academic2 (7005)
• Uganda
12 Aug 08
I I think I would rather be respected without having to invite that respect, in that way, the respect will come sponteneously without any coercion, hence repect without fear!
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@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Respect is bestowed or freely given. It cannot be obtained through fear or coercion. It cannot be demanded as a matter of right. It has to be earned. Only those who are deserving will be given oraccorded due respect.
• Ghana
12 Aug 08
I think respect is beauty and highly embrassed in an organised society. I will prefer to be respected to being feared. Being feared means you are a torn in the flesh of your subordinates. For a feared boss or father,no proper work is discharged in his absence. However, there is that sort of cordial relation between boss/father and subordinates/children and can easily approach you with their problems. So my advice, be friendly and do not be feared
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Right you are tonnecheg. majority of us human beings would still prefer to have therespect of their fellowment rather than be feared by them. When you are respected, that means you are held in high esteem because you are a good man who has all the good qualities which instill respect.
• United States
12 Aug 08
Respect if much more important. Why would you want someone to fear you? In an office environment, a good boss is someone who treats employees fairly, is knowledgable about the company and doesn't go around terrorizing the employees. I used to work for someone that you could tell when she walked in the door if it was going to be a good or a bad day. This person seemed to delight in trying to make her subordinates cry! Not a good situation. We all hated going to work, but with good pay, good benefits, etc you don't want to quit. Perhaps thats not quite fear of your boss, more than fear that she would single you out that day. Thank goodness she finally retired. With our next boss, everyone was much more productive, and the entire work atmosphere was soooooo much better. As far as your children go, I would much rather my children respect me. I think that if a child fears their parents, it kind of screws up their interaction with others later on in life. Maybe they would think being feared gives them the upper hand, that kind of thing.
1 person likes this
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
It seems you are with the majority who believe respect is more important than fear and i fully concur. You might be surprised but there are still a lot of people who enjoy terrorizing others and who feel that when people are afraid of them that they are very powerful. They can not be further from the truth because being feared is not a sign of power but more a sign that people believe you are not a just and fair person who would not hesitate to take advantage of others and who would be very vindictive. I think someone who instills fear could be possibly insecure and is just trying to cover up. As for children, everyone i guess wold join you in saying that it is best to instill rspect in them rather than fear.
@Tasche (138)
• Ethiopia
12 Aug 08
Why would I want somebody to be feared ? I prefer respecting people. I think it is hard to respect somebody, you are scared of.
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@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
That's right Tasche. You can never respect someone whom you fear because when you fear someone it implies that that person is one who does not usually observe the rules in dealing with others and is more inclined to use authority or power or basic advantage over someone to compel them to do as he wants and for his own interest and self aggrandizement.
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
Of course, I would go for being respected. If there will be fear, I would want it to be out of respect. I'm also a boss in our workplace. I may say that my subordinates are respectful since they acknowledged and follow my instructions to them. Fear without respect will just result to damage of relationship. =)
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@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Oh pink_maven, don't be too sure that when people acknowledge and follow instructions that this means respect. Even fear can compel someone to acknowledge and follow instructions. The difference is that when it is done out of respect, they tend to put more effort into the job. But i agree thatit is much better to have the respect of your subordinates because you will find it easier for the team to work together and do an excllent job.
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
14 Aug 08
Good question. I would obviously rather be respected as a person and a boss. But I have to admit that fear works better in some cases and for some people. I find this sad, but true.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Right you are. As a boss, I agree you will get more things done if your people respect you because they will go beyond their duty to perform a task while if they just feared you they will not go that extra mile for you. Its also true that sometimes fear can get things done because that;s the only thing that some people can understand. But in the end, being feared can boomerang and might not really lead to a satisfactory accomplishment
• United States
14 Aug 08
Respect, definitely. It can be hard-earned, but it's more than worth it. I can't even deal with fear from animals; I can't imagine having any humans being afraid of me. A quote comes to mind from Star Wars: Episode One: "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate... leads to suffering." I'll stick with respect, thanks.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Well said and well quoted. It has been proven that indeed when someone is feared, the person who fears him is angry not only with the person he fears but with himself too since he hates being afraid but cant help it and so he starts hating the feared person which feelings are so intense that feeling them alone can make one suffer or can cause a person to do something which will cause him future suffering.
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
13 Aug 08
i would rather be respected and looked up to, rather than feared. stupid lowlifes make themselves feared because they fear rejection. no one likes them or listens to them anyway...so they force others to listen to them by fear before they become rejected and alone hated by society...no one wants to associate with. so they get their attention to fear to be noticed.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
Oh that's right. People who want to be feared are usually bullies who are very insecure. Bullies are definitely mnot liked at all.
@leateagee (3667)
• China
12 Aug 08
Being a boss is difficult. It is very difficult to manage people of different personalities. If I would be a boss someday i wish to be respected. In respect comes friendship and true value in life. The subordinates will also have a good memory of every year that they are under my control. If there is respect, they will work smoothly. People do make mistakes and they should be told about it but by respect too. There is a saying that positive attracts positive. This means that if you do good to them they will do good to you out of respect. Take care
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
I agree with you that it is difficult to be a bos since you have to deal with so many people with different personalities and charactewristics. you have to do a lot of balancing and must exercise a lot of diplomacy and tact. But that's where we see the difference in bosses. They may also differ in management styles but in the end, whatever management style they follow, it is still how they basically deal with their staff that will determine if they would be respected or not. They can be as strict as they want but still be respected if they treat their subordinates with respect and fairness.In the end, the boss has to be firm but just.Take care too.
@paid2write (5201)
12 Aug 08
In the work situation I certainly would want my subordinates to do as I ask out of respect and not from fear. I would also want to work better and harder for someone I respect. I think parents should also be respected and it would be nice to think that children do as they are asked, out of respect for the parents. However, I think that for most children, the fear of how the parents would react is a stronger motive for not being disobedient.
@acevivx (1566)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
I guess while children are very young maybe the element of fear would have greater incentivew for them to obey their parents but still it depends on how the parents would make their feel. In an atmosphere of love, there is no need for fear for a chold to obey. even if quite yong a child can obey parents out of lve and respect.And you said it. You would indeed be inspired to work harder for one you respect while you will do your job but no go beyond for someone who just instills fear and not respect from you. I guess that's a normal reaction for everyone.