adoption versus procreation
By devylan
@devylan (695)
United States
August 12, 2008 4:15pm CST
While I already have a son who will be two this December, and while I am completely and utterly head-over-heals in love with him and wouldn't want him any other way, I still crave a daughter. I want a daughter for two reasons: 1)to teach her the value of her worth and that she can do anything she puts her mind to, and 2)to drive my husband crazy and understand that he has to be an example of what she will look for in a man one day. Well, my husband tells me sometimes that he doesn't really want anymore kids, since he's already got two sons, the first one from a previous relationship, but then other times he says things to imply that his mind could be easily swayed to having another baby. Obviously, I don't want to have another one any time soon. I'd like to get my son out of diapers first, if I can help it, and I can. I just know I definitely want to have a daughter. The only problem with that, though, is that I can't just say, "Let's have a girl," and out pops a girl, because I would have to leave it up to fate. However, I can adopt. My question is, what would you do in my shoes?
3 responses
@phoenix25 (1541)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Well, I guess that depends on how many kids you want. There is a great chance that you'll have another son if you and your husband get pregnant again. If you don't want to risk having 3 children to try to have a girl, then adoption would be a good idea, in my opinion. I think adoption is a great thing to do. Some people are caught up with the idea of having their own biological children, but there are so many babies out there that need loving families. The only thing to consider about adoption is that it is a difficult process that could take years and you would have to have your household and finances in good order in order to be considered as an adoptive parent.
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 08
I have a teenage son and a toddler son and would dearly like to have a daughter. If I get pregnant again it might be the girl I so long to have or it might be another boy. I love my boys but I have always wanted to have a little girl. I have looked into adopting but it seems so challenging to get approved as an adoptive parent. Even if that happens it is not easy to find a daughter to adopt. I like the idea of international adoption but I would still have to be approved as an adoptive parent in my home country. I wish that the adoption system would be easier because there are many little girls in Chinese orphanages waiting for a loving home. I suggest you look into how easy it is to adopt a girl in your home country. What age of child would you be hoping for? Would you like her to come from your home country or abroad. If you decide to get pregnant again there are ways to sway the odds to have a girl but is not 100% definite. You could try timing and adjusting your ph level. Good luck deciding. I hope that you get a daughter.
1 person likes this
@devylan (695)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Yeah, I live in the US, and I know exactly what you mean. It is apalling to think about all of the children living in foster homes here who are treated just as badly as other children in orphanages in other parts of the world. I mean, I understand that these orphanages can be awful, but the fact that it's so easy to become a foster parent here in the states is disgusting to me. I know there are some foster parents who have a genuine concern for the well-being of their foster kids, but it seems like the number of bad ones far outweigh the good. Anyway, I do know, though, that I'll probably end up going the international route. I won't be doing anything any time soon, since I still want to give my son a chance to finish being a baby of course. He'll be two this December. But I do appreciate your input. In fact, I gave you best response! Thank you.
