Low or high self esteem?

United States
August 12, 2008 7:06pm CST
Where does your high or low self esteem come from? I have known people that were not very pretty in looks and thought themselves as "hot". I have also known people that were gorgeous but didn't agree. Do you have high or low self esteem when it comes to your looks and why?
2 people like this
5 responses
@squaretile (3831)
• Singapore
13 Aug 08
Personally, my self esteem comes from my beliefs. I believe that as a child of God I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And early in my teenage years, I was blessed one day with the overwhelming comfort that God loves me for who i am, not what i can achieve academically or how popular I am at school, or how pretty I am. There is intrinsic worth in what he has made me into, and that just saw me through the rest of life.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Aug 08
Thank you squaretile for that wonderful response. I follow God, too but I have never relied on him to guide me through life in that extreme...it just doesn't seem like living when you go through life with no insecurities. I mean what would be the point of living anyway? Granted, I hate feeling down on myself due to superficial reasons and the like but exactly how does your rendition of God keep you from feeling this way? I'm not knocking God because like I said, I follow God, too, but I'm really curious to know how to deal with this. taking Gods ways to heart, do you yourself tell yourself over and over again that God loves you and it takes your insecurities away just like that? I'm really interested to know how you handle things like this on a daily basis and look forward to your response.
1 person likes this
@redkathy (3375)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I never really thought I was or wasn't pretty. I am me and I'm satisfied with that. Some will like how I look and others won't. I really don't think looks are that important. How you act and treat others is what counts. I try my best to be nice to everyone and not to sweat it if everyone else doesn't do the same.
• United States
13 Aug 08
Kudos to you redkathy!!! I truly don't think looks are that important either as long as the person has good hygeine, however, I admire people that have such a high regard of themselves and want to know how to obtain that for myself. One step to doing this is to find out what other people think. We all rate someone at some point in time for whatever reason and it seems through media and such, people (mainly females) are stereotyped. It's hard for females to keep a positive attitude these days about what is acceptable and what others see that you don't, vice versa.
1 person likes this
@mscott (1924)
• United States
13 Aug 08
A lot of it comes from your parents and or family and how you were raised. People who were always told they were no good or were failures tend to believe it is true and don't have very good self-esteem. it is hard for people to change this because they just figure that is the way it is and they don't understand what caused it.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Aug 08
You are close to my age, so maybe you can relate...do you feel that you have lower self-esteem or self-worth, rather in the form of looks or otherwise, now that you are older compared to when you were say...not quite 30?
1 person likes this
@gloamglozer (1285)
• Australia
13 Aug 08
I don't really think about my looks that much and don't care what people think i look like. However, i still have a low self esteem though and it comes from something other than my looks.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Aug 08
At your age gloamglozer, I admire you for that. When I was 16, I was shy but didn't really think about my self-esteem. I thought about my looks but not on a negative standpoint and certainly not conceited. Thanks for your post :)
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I would say that my esteem has always not been so good. I should probably feel better about myself but I have been hurt by people in my past. I guess that I was kind of made to feel ugly. My husband says that I am beautiful though and I don't think that he would lie to me. Some people have high self esteem and confidence about themselves. I have always envied those people. It seems to come naturally to them. It can take time to build self esteem. I think I might be a little better now a days. I used to really be down on myself years ago.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Aug 08
I just wanted to let everyone know who posted that I have thought about our discussion. it's true that unhealthy criticism and judgement has been instilled in me by family members and close friends which has caused me to judge others and comparing them to myself. My desire is to have higher self esteem and I have become envious of the ones that do have that for themselves. I have come to realize, with everyone's help here, that i am my own worse enemy and have made my own prison, so-to-speak. Throughout my life, until the last couple of years, I was always the type of person to look within instead of without but let the ignorance of others change that trait in me. As a lesson learned, i promise God, myself and most especially my daughter, that every time I look in the mirror and see my flaws, i will replace them with the beauty that I have within. I will hold my head up high in public and claim my right to be here just as everyone else has that right, no matter how we look or dress, or if we are likable by all or none. And of course I will treat everyone with the same respect. God Bless all of you for taking the time to post your comments and helping a stranger shed light on her own securities.