I took my son with me to graveyard....

Pakistan
August 13, 2008 5:57am CST
He was five years old, when my elder sister ,passed away..She was widow and had one daughter.. My son came to me and asked about her..I told him ,she is no more..His next question was , what will we do with her body.. Then , I decided to take him, till the last destination , Was the decision of showing him everything right, ? According to you , what is the right age , to let him know all this?
5 people like this
11 responses
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
13 Aug 08
i think what you did is good...you explained it good to your son..actually there is no right age in explaining things and facts about life to a child. when they ask, answer...we sometimes belittle their minds and understanding...sometimes they even see clearer picture of everyday life than adults do!
• Pakistan
13 Aug 08
He is a keen observer and has the ability to understand facts.. and we all know , some times children know more than adults..
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
14 Aug 08
exactly,,,we belittle them that they don't understand..
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
13 Aug 08
Sometimes people believe that when a child asks a question they should get the full and proper answer. However children don't always know what they are asking about and may then get answers that astonish or shock them. Its best to try to judge the child's ability to absorb the truth. Remember, a child's mind is not fully developed.
2 people like this
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
13 Aug 08
Hi, Know a days it looks more like the children are more fully developed than the parents. Never underestimate a child. Take care, Margajoe.
• Pakistan
13 Aug 08
The reason to answer him was simple. He would have asked this to some one else....and that was more dangerous , as some one may misguided him.
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
13 Aug 08
Hi, I believe the right age has nothing to do with it. When a child asked questions about this subject, he or she is at the right age to know. Take care, Margajoe
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
13 Aug 08
Thanks for sharing your views with me.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4718)
• Germany
14 Aug 08
You are very welcome. When it comes to children, just trust your inner feelings. Take care, Margajoe
• New Zealand
13 Aug 08
Hey there when I asked my mother who I live with and she said when He is older anove to know but as he asks more questions answer that one question but I think that he was a bit to young at the age of 5 to be told to much details.God bless you in all your times of need. Love loveyoohbaby xoxo
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
13 Aug 08
thanks for your views..
1 person likes this
• New Zealand
14 Aug 08
Hey there thank you for your responds you are very welcome.God bless you in all your times of need. Love loveyoohbaby xoxo
• United States
14 Aug 08
As long as you are honest and answer all questions tell him now.
1 person likes this
• Pakistan
14 Aug 08
Thanks dear , for your response
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
14 Aug 08
i think you did the right thing... children need to understand the meaning of loss and grieve as well... and the sooner they know it, the better... they will grow up to be a more mature person and appreciate life more... many parents try to protect their children from this sad emotions and only want them to experience the happy emotions only... i think it is so wrong... those children will grow up to be a spoiled brat and don't appreciate life... they need to be exposed to both emotions in balance since they are young... take care and have a nice day...
• Pakistan
14 Aug 08
You are right...many parents, show their children only the happy side of life....but it is necessary to have a balance...I am glad ..I took a right decision... Thank you so much for your comments
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
I think what you did was just right. Opening these facts to a child means that your exposing him to the real world and therefore you need not to worry about other people influencing him on his beliefs. Just make it child friendly though so that he would understand it.
• Pakistan
14 Aug 08
I agree with you, when answering him ,I had in mind , that if I am not able to satisfy him , he will find some other means...and that would be dangerous ..
• China
14 Aug 08
i think you are right that we should let kids know that a man may be leave us forever.
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
14 Aug 08
i don't know. I think it depends on the kid. my girls were all very young when my dad passed. 2 of them were not yet born. I began taking them to his grave very young and telling them stories of how their grampa was and how much he would have just loved to know them...how sad I am that they didn't get to know him. they would say prayers for him. My youngest daugheter was six when she wrote him a little poem and put it in a jar and we buried it next to his grave. I think you should be honest and open with your son about these things.
• Pakistan
14 Aug 08
That is a nice way to introduce our children , to the family elders , who are no more...
@SusanLee (1920)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I think only you can know what your child can digest and what he can't. I think you did the right thing. Did it satisfy him? My youngest son lost a beloved uncle two years ago, he was devestated. He was ten at the time. At the viewing my son sat on the front pew and just stared at the coffin, I asked him if he wanted to go up and see uncle Carly, he said no. A little later he said he wanted too go see him so we went up. My son touched his face, his hair, his hand. When we sat back down, he was able to break down and cry, when he calmed some I told him what and how I believe. I believe Carly is happy and well on the other side. That his uncle Carly was not in that box, only the package he walked around in, he has no use for that container anymore. I also asked him what did he think uncle Carly was doing right now at this very moment that we were sitting here missing him? He said he didn't know, I told him that I bet uncle Carly was running up and down the streets of gold yelling 'Roger wont recognise me when he gets here with all my teeth and hair.' I have no doubt it comforted him, and I really believe when we lose people we love, and they have made peace with their God, that they are indeed in his presence. One day many months after Carly's passing, out of the blue, Jon said 'Mama, what do you think uncle Carly is doing right now?' I told him that knowing Carly, he was probably pestering Jesus to go fishing with him.
• Pakistan
13 Aug 08
Yes , he was satisfied with my answer , and above all, he saw it all practically . Now , he makes sure to ask me first, when ever he has any query..
@diansinta (7549)
• Indonesia
15 Aug 08
I agree, he is too young to see all the ceremony happen, beside we can take a child to a graveyard some spirit will follow him or distrubing this child. Some are strong but some are not.