Would you give away your firstborn child to somebody else who don't have one?
By brisk123
@brisk123 (2823)
India
August 13, 2008 8:31am CST
This has happened to one of my friend's cousin.She got married to one rich guy,it was an arrange marriage and the guy belong to a joint family.The family members were good and kind.Everyone is happy,but there was one thing that they were worried and concerned about, the eldest daughter in law.They don't have a child.My friend's cousin got married, she came to this family and within few months, she got pregnant.The mother in law decides to give the first born to her eldest daughter in law.My friend's cousin was helpless,she was told to take this decision for the sake of family happiness.The day came and she was taken to hospital for delivery,she delivered a baby girl.She cried so much,then later, the lawyer came and told the in laws that the first born cannot be given for adoption.Now she is carrying again,her second child she is scared and feeling helpless.What would you do if you were in her place?Will you complain to the police?or write some letter to some organization to help you?or fight for your right?or just keep quiet thinking that the family is good,kind and the other lady will take care of your child as her own and that you can also still see him everyday?Comment.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@thedaddym (1731)
• United States
13 Aug 08
Things are very different here and that kind of thing would never happen. If someone attempted such a thing it would be kidnapping. There is no way I would give any of my children to someone else to raise. 
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
16 Aug 08
I think that it is a mother's choice if or not she wants to have her baby adopted. It is sad that some ladies haven't got children but really want to. In that case they should try to get pregnant or adopt a baby. I think that the mother-in-law was crazy to take the baby away and give her to her eldest daughter-in-law. The poor lady carried her baby for about nine months then gave birth to her baby girl. Now she is pregnant for a second time she must be terrified that might happen again. That sort of thing would never happen in my home country. I would keep all the children that I give birth to and I would love to adopt a little girl perhaps an orphan from China.
@brisk123 (2823)
• India
16 Aug 08
I know mother in law is crazy.She cannot stay away from her sons and hence, they stay together as joint family and here she is,planning to give away her daughter's new born to eldest daughter in law, even though they will still be staying in the same house and see the baby, I feel if I am in her place, I will not be able to stop myself when I see my baby, not to talk about my child calling that other lady his/her mom.I will be jealous,upset and finally,tell the truth to the kid,else move out from the house itself.
, even though they will still be staying in the same house and see the baby, I feel if I am in her place, I will not be able to stop myself when I see my baby, not to talk about my child calling that other lady his/her mom.I will be jealous,upset and finally,tell the truth to the kid,else move out from the house itself.
@highlyclever (1111)
• United States
13 Aug 08
Wow, what a difficult situation! Different cultures have different expectations. I suppose that it is one thing, where a child is given willingly, and another thing, where the child is unwillingly removed. I would imagine it easier to give the child away as a baby, rather than 3 years later...
I suppose that there are all sorts of social ramifications for the lady if she chooses not to do this. Certainly, this is not something that could be done without the consent of her husband?
I don't know that I have a good answer. It is a certainly not a practice that is common here in the States.
@iyah10 (4115)
• Kuwait
13 Aug 08
In this matter it is a very big NO, How could I give my own blood to someone just to let other person happy and it is very hard especially for a Mother to see her child calling someone as her Mother and supposed to be you are the one and you still living in ht same house and I guess there so many option for them to adopt a child but why take what was mine......so hard to understand sometimes but I hope this things does not happen to someone.
@youngsweetheart (772)
• United States
13 Aug 08
I did consider giving up my daughter for adoption, but it was a completely different situation. I was young and scared and didn't know if I could take care of her - no one was pressuring me to give my child to someone else! That's absolutely insane, and as someone pointed out, also technically kidnapping. If the mother does not want to give up the child, she should not be forced to - unless the child is in imminent danger from the mother, which does not seem to be the case here.
Your friend's cousin should contact the authorities to see what kind of protection can be put in place - nothing technically illegal has happened yet, but if she is truly afraid, the law should be able to provide some sort of reassurance that her baby will NOT be taken from her by her in laws.
Yes, it is very said that the eldest daughter has been unable to conceive, but that is no reason for this girl to be forced to give up her child - her sister-in-law has other options...like adopting a baby who is NOT wanted by his/her mother.
