A Long Wait
By gr8life
@gr8life (6251)
Malaysia
August 14, 2008 1:37am CST
Hi All,
I want to relate my experience with all of you here. Well, again...it is about my family-my husband, to be specific! I really hate his one and only attitude. He likes to make me waiting! Whenever we need to go somewhere, he takes more time than me to get ready. He will shower for almost an hour, gets ready and when he is done, he will always ask me the same question, "Why it takes you so long to dress up?" In fact, I am the one who will shower the baby, get him ready, prepare his stuff, and almost everything I need to do by myself. He only have to look after the baby while I am dressing up.
Whenever he goes somewhere and needs me to come later, he will for sure make me waiting for him. Lets say he needs me to fetch him after his meeting(he is very lazy to drive...), I will call him like 10 minutes before I reach the destination and tell him to wait for me. But when I reach the place, I will have to wait for him instead of him waiting for me! He is smart too... I tried many times to let him wait. I will call and tell him that I will reach in 10 minutes but only get there after 20 minutes. Oh,my! He won't be there. When I ask him why, he will smile and reply, "You said you will be there in 10 minutes time. I was waiting for you there but I didn't see you. So, I went somewhere while waiting for you to appear!"
What do you think I should do to change his attitude? I really want to take revenge on this *laughs* Let me know your opinion.
3 people like this
7 responses
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Aug 08
well i guess you need to have a serious talk about it to your husband..tell him about his attitude on tardiness and everything in relations to it..and listen to what his reasons..although he may not or may change you had to accept the fact that he is really like that and learn to love it..marrying him includes loving his weaknesses and strong points..
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
14 Aug 08
Hello vanities,
I tried to talk to him once. He is very good at talking. He always find a point to put back the blame on me. Instead of me as the 'victim', he will blame me for making him as a victim in the situation. I really, really want to take revenge on this *laughs*
2 people like this
@vidhyavini (6111)
• India
14 Aug 08
Actually I hate to wait. If i were in situations like you, i will definitely make him realize it. If it hurts you a lot then ask him to change it saying that it hurts you. Otherwise you can enjoy it. Hehe. :)
2 people like this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
15 Aug 08
Hello vidhyavini,
I really can't enjoy waiting for someone but since he is my husband, I don't have a choice. I talked to him once about it but he always find a point to put the blame on me instead of him. I did the same to him few times; by letting him wait for me instead of me waiting for him but you know what happened? He made me wait longer!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
14 Aug 08
its something really irritating. may be he is taking all the advantages of being a man. many men asre like this.they will always try to act smart when they actually does nothing. have a clear talk with him and make him understand your pain points.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
14 Aug 08
Hello subha12,
I think most men are like that. The first respondent here also has the same problem. My husband always feel that he can do a thing because he is a man and I can't do the same thing that he does because I am a woman. Sometimes, it really irritate me but I just don't like to argue with him. We have limited time at home and I don't like to spend time quareling with him every day. Maybe there is a way for me to discuss with him without initiates an argument...
1 person likes this
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
16 Aug 08
Oh too bad! Can you tell him to be on time, or otherwise, you will leave? I am not sure if this works in a relationship. I hate waiting too. Every time when I have to wait, I start to be in a really bad mood and wouldn't say anything. Then of course, it starts to scare the person who makes me wait. I just can't help being in a bad mood, because I think "what makes your time more important than mine?". Usually that person would try to be on time next time. I really think it's a habitual thing. Good luck, girl.
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
18 Aug 08
Hello wondericequeen,
If I leave him, we will end up in a big argument! If I keep quiet, he will repeat it over and over (like he is doing now). I talked to him once and he put a blame on me instead *sighs* He told me that he always help me like taking care of the baby while I am dressing up, always wait for me on time (but it is me who always not on time....) and he has 1001 reasons why I need to be blamed for that... *sighs*
@little_momma (198)
• United States
14 Aug 08
I know the feeling. My husband takes forever to get ready also. I can get myself and the 3 kids ready and we still wait on him. He has done a bit better since last month though. Last month I started just leaving him behind if he wasn't ready :D I only had to do it twice before he figured out that I was done trying to talk to him and telling him to hurry. I do the same thing if I go to pick him up from anywhere. If he says he will be done at 10 he knows I'll be there about five after and I will only wait no more than ten minutes for him because the kids don't wanna wait in the car for very long. Then if he isn't out I leave. He has had to walk home only once. I used to just pull around and hide the car but he caught on to that and started making me wait so I finally just decided to see what he would do if I left. He catches on pretty quick....Luckily for him. I hope that you can find away to get through to your husband too. Its one of the most obnoxious attributes a man can have! Good Luck!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
14 Aug 08
Hello little_momma,
Oh, God! I think most men are like that! I can't do like the way you did to your husband - we will end up in a big fight later. So, I have to ignore that choice. I talked to him once about it. He told me that most of the time, he is the one who needs to wait for me. He is very good at talking. He always have the point to put the blame on me instead of him. One time, we made a date to have lunch together as he was on leave. He knows that I only have one hour lunch break. I rushed to the nearest shopping mall to meet him. I expected him to wait for me as he has nothing to do. In fact, he made me waiting at the restaurant for 10 minutes. I was angry when he came and told him I couldn't eat my lunch as I need to rush back to office. He scolded me for nagging non-stop and that including while having a lunch date with him!
1 person likes this
@little_momma (198)
• United States
15 Aug 08
*smile* my husband and i normally end up in a heated argument if I leave him somewhere but i don't let it get to me. i just tell him that if he had any respect for me that he would kick it into high gear and not keep me waiting so long. I think the last time I told him I'm not like the dog....I DO have better things to do than wait for him. I'm kind of a little spit-fire and i tend to say exactly what is on my mind....it still catches my husband off gaurd. He made the comment tonight that he wishes I came with a reset button so that he could program me to be a quiet wife :D Yeah right!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
15 Aug 08
Hello little_momma,
I think most husbands would love to have a quiet wife *laughs* How I wish my husband has a reset button too so that I can reset him whenever I want to...It is hard to talk to him about this as he always find a way to counter attack me. Of course, I am not a type of person who love to 'fight back' and at the end, I will just give him a silence treatment!
@zeny_zion (1283)
• Philippines
18 Aug 08
hahaha theres no change. it is his attitude already. maybe, you have to talk with him seriously and tell him you hated him for being always late.
1 person likes this
@aseretdd (13730)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
My husband is also the same... he is so slow in almost everything... and that is a constant reason why we fight... i tend to be fast because i do not want to waste any time... but he would always take his time to check and double check everything... and that would irritate me a lot...
Well, when he was still here in the Philippines... everytime he is slow and we have an appointment... i would tell him that i would go ahead and just wait for him there... when i do that... he will certainly move faster...
Your husband is quite smart... i don't know anyway on how you can outsmart him...
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
15 Aug 08
Hello aseretdd,
That's the reason - he is very good at talking and will find a very good point to counter attack me! Apart from this, I don't really have anything to complain about his behavior - maybe just minor weaknesses that can be accepted by both of us. I can't leave him just like that when he is late; we will end up in an argument (though he will definitely try to persuade me later) and he is definitely aware how emotional I could be sometimes and how to attack me emotionally. Well, that's not a good part! I tried to make him waiting but ended up to wait longer than it supposed to be...
