The basic element in marriage for you??? THX !!!!

China
August 17, 2008 5:02am CST
Hello all mylotters: I think many people has experienced or are facing this problem in the marriage.For me, i have not married yet. Maybe i am waiting for something.... I only want to know what is the basic element to marry somebody for you? for the real love as you believed,or the money, or his.her gorgeous future,or some point you think in your mind? Please share your ideas !!!! thanks a lot! good luck to all.
2 people like this
10 responses
@chenmeiyi (973)
• China
18 Aug 08
hey,successful.i have to say that it is worth thinking.in the previous days,i think i am an idealist and always want to pursue a perfect love.but that's really a difficult thing to reach.although the society is so realistic,i will follow my heart and be honest with my feeling.if i love someone,i want to make friend with him and i will try to establish a unusual feeling between us if i have that ability,because it is not so easy to meet someone you really love in life,at least for me it is true.no trial,no consequence.even if i failed after revealing my own feeling,then i have no regret because i have already showing my feeling to him.i am not a girl who is afraid of showcasing love.if i think that boy is worth pursuing,i will take action. he must be excellent in study,if not excellent,should be good or medium that's the lowest floor.actually i love someone who is more excellent than myself,thus i will love him more and also will have driving force to make continuous progress.he must be honest,concentrated on love and his work career,humor is also prefered.he should be generous,helpful to make contributions to the society.should be filial to parents. should have a stable financial situation.
1 person likes this
• China
19 Aug 08
hello mei yi, thanks for your response.maybe the girls are more idealistic than boys in nowadays.I also think i could find a genuine love. BUt i feel it is hard now.
• China
19 Aug 08
Hi,just have confidence about yourself and believe there is great love and great girl is waiting for you.best wishes.
1 person likes this
• China
25 Aug 08
of course, love is more important even though i still have a little doubt on it.but i will find my lover.lol good luck
• China
19 Aug 08
for me the real love as i believed is the most important thing,if i would marry someone,it must means i love him.i also hope he have a gorgeous future then he can offer me a easy life.
1 person likes this
• China
19 Aug 08
thanks for your response.my friend good luck
• China
30 Aug 08
thanks for your response, again. good luck
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
19 Aug 08
The basic elements of marriage is love, respect and communication. Love is very important because it's the life of the relationship, when there's no love involved the relationship is like an empty shell. Respect must be present in each others heart to have a harmonious marriage. The last but not the least,communication, it bridge the gap.
• China
19 Aug 08
thanks for your response. my friend. it is right. good luck. best wishes
@valeria1 (2723)
• United States
18 Aug 08
For me if you know and feel that this is the Real Love of your life just go for it with no doubt and no fear, life will be easy like that. If you have a little doubt or you are not sure of something, just let it go, do not waste your time, life will be miserable and divorce will come for sure!
1 person likes this
• China
18 Aug 08
thanks for your information.maybe sometimes we will meet many people in our life. but finally, we only can get the very one to live.lol good luck
@angelia286 (2029)
• Singapore
18 Aug 08
One get married when both parties think that they are ready to take on new commitments and that the other party is the one for them. I had seen too many cases of marriages breaking up when they married just because they felt that the guy is everything they want in a guy and vice versa. However, many did not stop to think for a moment if they are ready for this major commitment that they were going to take in their lives. And as a result many decided to take the easy way out of an unhappy marriage by divorce! For me, I think marriage is something that I would only consider when I feel that I am ready to settle down, and when my heart is no long fickle. The very basic element to marriage is not so much of the money, the rosy future or whatever people think it is, but rather the question to consider would be would I want to wake up for the next 40 years or so next to this person that I am marrying, will I be able to stick it out with him through the downs as well as the ups. If there is a moment of uncertainty, then marriage is not on the cards as I am not ready for it. The very main thing to getting married will then be the element of trust and level of comfort with your partner. If I am going to take that big leap of faith, I would have to at least trust my partner 100% and be prepared to stand behind him 100% giving him my support no matter what happens. And he too, must be prepared to do the same. Next factor to consider would be whether or not there is real communication between me and my partner. If before marriage, there is no real communication, then it could be for sure that later on in marriage that there would also not be any communication going on. This could seriously give rise to a lot of problems in the future. No matter what happens, a guy must be prepared to give his wife a listening ear and communicate with her on things that bothers her, and so on. If not, resentment would just build up over time as petty problems get swept under the carpet.. For me, to sum it all up, I would look for the level of trust, communication and the level of comfort that I have in my partner as well as whether I could imagine supporting him without any questions, and whether or not I could bear to wake up next to this person for the rest of my natural life. These are the factors I look for before I determine whether or not I am ready for marriage. What about you?
1 person likes this
• China
18 Aug 08
yes, my friend, you are right. but sometimes i feel it is hard to find the real love in life. a big part of people depend on the moeny to marry with the other.But i am trying to find it though. because i believe it in fact.Maybe something has not happen to me. some one said: the one which leaves in the end is the best one.lol good luck
@mimpi1911 (25473)
• India
18 Aug 08
Hi successlog Love, trust & respect: without these no marriage will going to survive. Trust and understanding is very important and also the self respect and valuing each other's value and space. When someone can feel you to the level of understanding and trusting you that is the beginning of true love, I guess. And true love can conquer everything on earth. Money, material, comfort are important but true love is much sweeter than these. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• China
18 Aug 08
yes, my friend, i think true love is sweeyer than others. but i think others are also the important element in the marriage. is it?
@mommyboo (13191)
• United States
17 Aug 08
Love. Not merely or simply loving a person, but being IN love, wanting to be with them in every way, for the rest of your life. Emotionally, physically, mentally connected, both your friend and your soulmate, like the other half of the same coin. This isn't to say you're not complete alone, but you are better together. I think that finances and future can weigh in - obviously you have to make sure that together, your finances are not a mess. Somebody (sometimes both) has to have an income so you can both be supported, and as far as future, you want both of you to have some similarities. It's not going to work if one of you dreams of retiring early and traveling while the other one of you expects to work past retirement age to sock away a larger nest egg and never travel at all. I'd also suggest being on the same page regarding children, because that could make or break a relationship. It sounds really odd to say that cliche about how you'll just know, but barring someone having a psychotic break and going nuts, for the most part when you're with the right person, you do end up knowing.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Aug 08
thanks for all your suggestion. I am so glad to receive these useful information. i am so happy. good luck
@littleone3 (2065)
17 Aug 08
For me it would be for love. Thats why me and my partner are going to marry sometime in the future because we love each other very much. But there also should be trust as well. I could never marry someone just for their money it would not feel like a true marriage to me. I know some people marry because they care about the other person and love grows out of that.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Aug 08
thanks for your resposne, my friend.yes, love is very important to marriage.
@lixiaos77 (1030)
• Shijiazhuang, China
17 Aug 08
1 love . If the marriage lack of love, there will be a torture all your life 2 money. If you have money enough to support the family. 3 society. Human are society animal, if the society can't accept the marriage, they can't be together happily. 4 health. If one of you are not healthy, there will be a heavy burden in your marriage
1 person likes this
• China
18 Aug 08
thanks for your response, my friend.it is very good suggestion
• Philippines
17 Aug 08
Well for me, three things are basic elements in marriage. Love, Finances and God. You can't marrry if there's no love in your heart. Failed marriages happen because the love between people have suddenly vanished. Finances is also important because even if you love each other but you have no money, then youll probably die of starvation. God is a big factor in marriage because without him helping you balance love and finances,then that marriage is bound to fail.
1 person likes this
• China
18 Aug 08
thundero14 , thanks for your words, It sounds great.I think it should be like this. good luck to you