Getting a backbone
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
August 18, 2008 4:25pm CST
Marital problems, yech.
Marriage counseling, double yech.
But my one session last week (among other things) has made me resolve to finally get a backbone and to speak up when something is 'not OK'. It may not save the marriage, but but I sure feel 1000% better about myself!
3 responses
@rbailey83 (1428)
• Canada
19 Aug 08
yes, you definately need to speak up when something is not ok, it will definately help with the way you are feeling, and something i always like to say is, you have to pick your battles, meaning will it be worth it to bring something up, is it something that if brought up will possibly change things or is it something that will just resolve into another fight and be worthless to fight about. lol not sure if i explained that right
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Sep 08
there are certain things I just won't tolerate any more, fight or no fight
@rbailey83 (1428)
• Canada
9 Sep 08
yeah that is part of picking your battles, everyone has certain things they won't tolerate or stand for, and if it is something that you truly believe in, like that, then that battle is worth fighting for, otherwise you are choosing not to acknowledge certain values and beliefs about yourself.
1 person likes this
@anawar (2404)
• United States
18 Aug 08
dawnald - If marriage and counseling are both yech's, are you trying to save your marriage, or finding peace inside you to move on in your life?
Now that you're speaking your own mind, you will find out who you are really married to. If your husband is accustomed to your taking everything he dishes out, he might like the new person developing and awakening inside you.
You already figured out the most important lesson. and that is how you feel about yourself. I'm happy, you're happy feeling better about who you are. I think some big changes are coming your way. Get ready for the ride of your life.
travel lightly
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Aug 08
I didn't say 'marriage - yech' I said 'marriage counseling - yech'.
I'm trying to save my marriage OR find peace inside myself to move on with my life.
He does like the new person. But the new person doesn't think she loves him any more.
@anawar (2404)
• United States
19 Aug 08
I think you know the answer. Remember, divorce is yucky, messy, it hurts and its traumatic.
But, for me, it was the answer and I know I made the right decision.
Consider both options in your head. Which one makes you happier? Staying or leaving? Sometimes men will improve their behaviour to hang on to you, but they always return to who they really are. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Good for you! If it saves your marriage, great. If not, the next one will be good because you're better. You deserve to be very proud of yourself for this! 
