If you were to write an ad for a BEST FRIEND what would you write?

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I was just wondering what people are looking for in a "BEST FRIEND?" I thought it might be fun to read a few ads (advertising) requesting and seeking a BEST FRIEND. Just a few things you may want to think about while writing YOUR ad: What do you require in a best friend? What is the "job" description? What is the environment one would be "working" in? What does the "job" pay? Are there benefits? Are there bonuses? What might the qualifications be? How does one apply? You certainly do not HAVE to include everything above. This is just for fun - so be creative. :-)