Are You Supposed to Bring a Present to an Engagement Party?

Wow, that is a lot of presents! Thank goodness, I don't think that they are having a wedding shower.

good then one less to buy lolol

Is a gift certificate a good gift for an engagement? Like a gift card to a restaurant I know he likes? For weddings I usually get silverware or something for the kitchen, but I'm not sure when my cousin and his fiancee are moving in together yet so I'll save that present idea for the wedding.

See, that's what I don't get. If you know you're moving into a new place and have to stock everything, shouldn't that be the couple's responsibility to prepare for that? It's sort of like baby showers. When I was a baby, my parents got a little outfit from just about everyone they knew. Those aren't too expensive, but are useful. They bought a used crib for $25 and a bunch of other used things for everything else I needed. One of my friends recently had a baby shower and they actually expected to get the crib, and other things like that. And they did! They are poor so everyone spent over $100 to help them out. My feelings were, if they're that poor, they could have gotten an abortion. So I stuck with getting some outfits and spending less than $50. So my same thoughts transfer to weddings. If you're that poor, then wait.

Because that's what I hate about this culture. People just want that instant satisfaction. I want to be married and I want to be married now. I don't want to save for it, let's just have someone else pay. How about tell my cousin to be considerate? He is making us drive 5 hours away for his wedding because it is cheaper for him to have it there. What about my gas money? And all the other guests? I'd really rather not go to this stupid engagement party, but I think it is out of my hands. I am somewhat expected to show up.

Well, first of all, it's considered respectful since they are the ones throwing the parties for you to enjoy, and the perishables you consume thereat. It's a form or repayment for their hospitality. However, I find it very insulting for you to tell people they're not allowed to have or enjoy an occasion in their life just because they may not have the thousands of dollars it takes to make every aspect of their new life lavish and perfect. If you're so disrespectful and uncaring of the people celebrating the event, why do you even go in the first place? Then you don't have to worry about wasting your precious money on those dumb saps. Most times, the people included in events like this are dear friends and family who would be happy to do what they can to help make their lives happier. I'm sorry you can't feel that way.

Thanks! I had never even heard of these parties, much less been to one. If gifts are optional, I might just save my gift for the wedding. I guess I'll bring a gift in the car, and then if everyone else has a gift I'll run and get it out so that way I'm covered either way. I don't have a whole lot of money to be spending on these things and if other cousins get word of this, I have a ton of cousins and they're all bound to get married sooner or later. If he asks me for any money for his wedding, I'm not even going. I find that offensive. I think if people can't afford to get married, they should wait. I hate people asking for handouts. On anything. I don't even like that disabled people who can work don't have to if they don't want to just because they got a bit of an unfair hand in life.

Thanks! Yes, I think I will just elope too. I know which restaurants my cousin likes, so I'll try to get one of those gift cards that can be used at a few different ones just in case there are any he likes that she doesn't. I usually prefer gift cards too, unless they are to really weird stores I never go to or restaurants that are over an hour away from my house. :)

That's how I feel... I wasn't going to go at first because I didn't want to bring a present. But then when some other family members asked if I was going, I told them that I didn't know because I couldn't get a present. But they said they weren't bringing anything. So no one brought anything except a few people gave the couple used kitchen appliances.

I ended up not having time to go buy a gift so I just came to the party anyway. I brought my own food so he couldn't say I came for the food and didn't bring a gift. Apparently, our entire family is the same way because no one really brought a present. Some people did bring their old kitchen appliances, but no one brought anything new for the couple. It was actually fairly crazy because a lot of family members didn't like the bride because she is fat. But I thought she was nice and now I'm thinking maybe I will go to the wedding afterall, but I'm still not sure since it's such a far drive.

My family puts a lot of emphasis on being thin so I'm sure it was a shock to them. But yeah, I thought it was pretty rude. She seemed nice, I didn't care how big she was so long as my cousin likes her. There are some people in my family that are overweight, but no one morbidly obese so I guess that's why they're worried. They are already saying she might have trouble bearing his children. What if he doesn't even want children?

Wow so lots of the family just took a dislike because she was a big girl? Thats a shame really isn't it? x

If they are having a shower, they didn't announce that yet. I don't know how they'll squeeze that in if they do want to have one. I think you're right that these parties put strain on relationships. With a lot of my friends, we don't even exchange birthday gifts because it would just be too much money to give gifts all the time.

I meant that your counsin won't cement relationships by doing this. Rather they will probably cause a little resentment since people have to buy them gifts so close to the wedding.

In our family no one has had a bridal shower than I know of, it's usually a wedding only. But I wouldn't know on this one because my cousin is a guy and he's marrying a woman. So if she had a bridal shower, I probably wouldn't have heard about it. I don't have my cousin's phone number since he's not living with my aunt currently. He mailed me the invitation. But I'll see if I can get in touch with him. Otherwise, I think I'm going with the idea of bringing a present in case but leaving it in the car so that I don't have to give him a present if others aren't.

Would you still buy a household gift if they won't be living together yet? I'm not certain when they're moving in together. Probably after the wedding, but still, I'm not sure where they'd store these type of gifts.

Yeah, I'll probably just go with a gift card I guess.

I'm not the type of person who would feel bad not giving a gift unless it's something where gifts are exchanged (like Christmas gifts, I'll feel bad if an acquaintance buys me a gift and I have nothing for them). On birthdays, I don't feel bad so long as the person I'm forgetting about didn't give me something before. But on occasions where it is customary to give a gift (such as weddings), I will bring one. So I guess I am bringing a gift to this. I can't say I expect to ever get a gift in return in this case though. I'm not planning to get married myself anytime soon and whenever I do I'm almost certain my family won't support it and there will be no need for me to have any parties.

But everyone takes it one step at a time usually. That's just the way this marriage thing works. That's what I don't get. How many presents can you get out of one event? Next instead of just baby showers, women are gonna start having an "I just peed on the stick and it turned blue!" parties before they even look pregnant. And then have a baby shower too!

I never knew this was a sharing type of event until I got invited to this party. I always thought in the past that engagement was between the couple. They were excited about it, but why would anyone else be? If they break up before the wedding, then what are we supposed to think? But I'll bring a present I guess.