My Walmart Experience... Sorry Need To Vent Here

Canada
August 26, 2008 7:50pm CST
The other day I was out shopping for some back to school supplies with my son who is five and has autism. Now he can talk up a storm but he does have some abnormal behaviors such as arm and hand flapping and constant humming and he likes to on the ground so he can see things from that perspective. We were at the Walmart and we were actually in the baby section as I am eight months pregnant and I was picking up a few things there as well. Xavier was getting tired and began to have a melt down, doing my best to control him as I can't pick him up for obvious reasons. This elderly lady came by and told me to get control of my son who was now on the floor screaming and was not having any of what I was saying to him. I tried to explain to her that he had autism and wasn't misbehaving because he was bad... she told me I should have him locked up and then she looked me up and down and scoffed. And to think you are going to have another retard baby soon... good luck to you. If the woman hadn't been close to seventy-five, and if my mother hadn't brought me up to respect my elders I'm sure there would have been a brawl in the diaper isle that afternoon. Seeing as I couldn't do that I cried right there in the Walmart. I guess I'm second guessing if I did the right thing by letting that old woman walk away and if there was any one liner I could have thrown after her... the only one that comes to mind is "Hey lady the depends are on the other side of the store" of course it never hits you at the right time those one liners do they... anyways she is obviously ignorant... and I just needed to vent about it!!!
14 people like this
38 responses
@coffeebreak (17811)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I feel so bad for you and y our child. What a witch with a B that stupid woman was! But lately, you know, I have been, although not that drastically and hurtfully as what you went thro, had to deal with rude people,and I have tried to be nice, but it isn't working. I am starting to return the rudness. I am so sick of being the nice guy and only getting rudeness and stupidity in return! I was raised to respect my elders too, but have found in this world today, that you don't have to respect someone just cause of their age or any other reason. THe only reason you need to respect someone is if they deserve the respect. That woman didn't deserve your respect - or anything else for that matter. I take that back, she did deserve a good whipping out back in the shed! I have been "collecting" things to say in cases like this as I know that if I don't control myself and have respect for myself, I will rip that person a new soul! I can dish it out if someone orders it! I prefer not to, but I'm not going to stand there and take that crap from people anymore. You shouldn't either. YOu look that old blue-haired, denture dropping, wrinkly face, Geritol addicted bafoon in the face and say "I always do what my mother told me to do and she told me I shouldn't waste my time speaking to rude, self-righteous, arrogant, empty-headed baffons like you, so you'll just have to get mad in the same pants you got glad in and go find someone that gives a rats a** about what you think or have to say". I have found that most of the time they are so stunned, not so much by what you said but that you said anyting at all to them and they will walk away But if you still want to be nice about it, you could fish out a quarter from your purse and hand it to her and say "here's a quarter, call someone that cares what you think". GIve your little one a big kiss and hug!
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Aug 08
While reading your post I laughed so hard I almost choked on my baby carrots... Thanks so much you really made my night... I wish I had said something like that it would have felt soooooo goood!!!!
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Aug 08
I agree whole heartedly! This woman no matter her age has no right to speak to you this way! I would have looked at her and said "my mom taught me to respect my elders, too bad yours didn't teach you that if you didn't have anything nice to say then Keep your mouth shut!" For her to comment on your new baby was mean and in severe distaste, as I am sure that you have enough worries of your own with that. People like that I really just want to slap accross the face!!!!! May Gond Bless You, Your Son, and Your New baby. Just remember stupid people are just that stupid people! Every Child is a gift from God, a mirical of their own.
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17811)
• United States
27 Aug 08
SinfulSweet - although I would rather just slap the person into next week, I have found it to be so much more "fulfilling" and stress relieve to slap them into oblivion with words that they don't expect, have never heard and are totally flabbergasted when they hear them! Talk about jaw-droppers! Then you are the one walking away with a smile on your face while they are shaking their heads out of the twilight zone - - hopefully learning a lesson on how to be nice!
@jillhill (37377)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I wonder what it is that some people think they have the right to say things like that to others. I do find that some seniors are better at that then younger groups. It really wouldn't have mattered if you had a one liner or not.....she obviously wouldn't get it! I am sorry someone was so cruel to you....just remember......what goes around, comes around....so if you do see her again in walmart maybe you should just find an associate and say to the associate while pointing to the old lady...."I think she is shoplifting" LOL
1 person likes this
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
27 Aug 08
I love this shoplifting thing, it makes me laugh hard. Too bad you are not the one there Jill. You could start a world war three, hehehe,lol! I agree that the old lady doesn't deserved a respect from anybody. God bless her cruel heart.
• Canada
27 Aug 08
Oh if only there had been an associate around I probably would have... oh the things that we think of afterwards!
• United States
27 Aug 08
I completely understand. My son has multiple disabilities autism among them. I am always having to apologize to people for it when he has a melt down. My son's therapist told me of a mom who made up cards explaining her child has autism and what not so when he had melt downs she would just start handing out the cards to the people who started or made comments. I thought that was an awesome idea. As far as the old hag goes she is ignorant and refuses to learn like my in-laws. The saddest part is the world is full of people like this and we have to choose our battles. I will tell them my son is autistic and if they make a rude comment if I have a come back I will fling it, depending on my mood, or I take the high road ignore them and go on my way. The comments hurt but after a while you learn to build a wall and feel sorry for the people who are so willingly uneducated. My son's melt downs have decreased dramatically this summer and I credit mangosteen juice with this occurrence. I have changed nothing else in his diet or medications but I started supplementing him with mangosteen juice and his behaviors have improved dramatically.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
4 Sep 08
I heard about the card idea a few months ago and I also think it is a great idea. I had forgotten about the cards until I posted my response to this discussion and finally made some about a week ago. I haven't had the need to use them since printing them up, but they are in my purse and ready to go.
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I'm sorry you had to go through that! And while you are pregnant. Unfortunately there will be people that don't understand autism, which can make it difficult to try to explain, especially to someone that is being downright rude. I went through such an incident with my oldest son a few years ago. We had been in a market and the customer in front of us had finished paying for his groceries. But he didn't step away. Instead he starts jabbering on to the guy right on the other side of me. Apparently these two people were friends, but I guess my son thought the guy that was done should have moved out of the way. I didn't see what happened next, but I'm guessing my son kicked this man. The man, of course, was furious and he had every right to be. I apologized over and over again and told this man that my son is autistic. I tried to explain, but instead of the guy calming down he got more furious! He had the nerve to yell at me after I apologized saying I need to watch my kid. Hello? I was paying for my groceries! How the heck am I supposed to watch my kid at that very same moment! I don't have eyes on the back on my head (or on the sides for that matter). Since he got downright nasty about my kid I got downright nasty right back! Not something I would have normally done back then, but this guy was pissing me off and now I was furious too. Finally I stormed out of the store with my son (or maybe this guy left before I did, I honestly don't remember ). When my son and I got to our car the guy's friend apologized for his friend's behavior. I told him that it wasn't his fault (the rude man's friend) and then I got in the car quick because after all that I broke down and cried. I just couldn't handle what happened.
• Canada
27 Aug 08
I am sure that most of my anger was when she told to have him locked up and then called the baby I am carrying a retard. That was when I lost it, and I knew that freaking out on her in front of my son wasn't the right thing to do as much as I wanted to... I have always told my son that if someone is bugging you to leave it alone or tell someone else but we don't say bad words or hit... so in ways I showed my son the right way of dealing with ignorant people... not with the tears so much (pregnancy related no doubt) but just to ignore the ignorant comments but man oh man was I ever pissed that day!!!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
3 Sep 08
I lost it when this man started putting down my son. I'll admit it wasn't a moment I was proud of, but all this man had to do was tell me what happened and I would have reprimanded my son. It's not like my son could tell me what happened, after all he was non verbal at the time (and he is barely verbal now at 11 years old). So between the two of them I don't even know what happened! I had to guess and apologize for something my son may or may not have done.
@irishidid (8710)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I'm sorry you had that experience and I can relate to things said when my daughter was small. Most of them because no one wanted to take the time to learn. Me, I'm quick with the comebacks and probably would have said something like "I'd say the retarded one is the one who opens her mouth when she has no clue what she's talking about." Hang in there and keep a stiff upper lip. You're going to need it.
• Canada
27 Aug 08
Hi there... for the most part I do have a pretty stiff upper lip and am normally pretty good with the come backs but I think I'd like to blame some of it on pregnancy hormones, and baby brain! Its not the first time I have had someone say something nasty to me about my little guy.. buts it the first time I broke down because of it
@irishidid (8710)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I fully understand. What most people don't understand is that we do what works for our kids. No one in my ex's family asked why I used to set her high chair away from everyone else at family functions they just made snide comments about my mothering. The fact my other kids were well adjusted never entered their thoughts and if anyone had asked, I would have explained.
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
27 Aug 08
The nerve of some people. I probably would have popped that old B!TCH in the mouth elder or not. Being old is not an excuse to act ignorant. I am sorry you had to deal with that today. Good luck with the new baby.
• Canada
27 Aug 08
Thanks I really did want to pop her in the mouth, but then again I didn't want to kill the old bird! I could see the head lines now... pregnant kills old woman over a temper tantrum LOL! I just wish I had thought of that one liner sooner!!!
27 Aug 08
wow some people are really out of control. they should just mind their own business, and maybe try to get the old people smell out of their house and close.... i would have kicked her i guess. if someone does not know what they are talking about... i mean you told her your boy did not just behave bad, and she still gave you an attidude. i dont know man.
@DarkDancer (1011)
• Dayton, Ohio
27 Aug 08
Just because you are old doesn't make you an elder. An elder is someone who while usually older than you is also wiser. She obviously is just some bitter old lady. Popping her a good one, while obviously out of the question, would have been immensely satisfying. A better response might have been an honest one such as "Get away from me you foul old biddy, I will not have your bitterness affecting me and my children."
• Dayton, Ohio
27 Aug 08
These types of things are much easier to think of while not during the stress of the moment....
• United States
27 Aug 08
When I read what happened to you, I became angry! Girl, I don't care if she would have been one hundred and seventy five she would've gotten an earful from the moment she stuck her wrinkly old nose in my business. I can't believe that she would respect you, your son, and your baby on the way in this manner. She was way out of line. You would think that these old hags would know better, but they don't have respect for anybody! I'm really sorry that this happened to you. I'm pregnant too, but since you couldn't think of anything to say, I wish I would've been there in the store with you. I would have had that old witch in tears!
• Canada
27 Aug 08
At the time this all happened I was pretty busy trying to make sure that my son was ok and was not about to bash his head off the floor as he sometimes does. I was just so shocked and f-ing pissed off it was all I could do to keep my mouth shut... as what was I to do with my son freaking out, the last thing he needed was his mother going off on the old bat!
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
27 Aug 08
OMG I would of hit that old hag no matter how old she is. Even if your son didn't have autism kids throw fits all the time. She should of minded her business and not got into your. To say that about your baby who is not even born. I hope God punishes her for that. Maybe he will turn her into a jacka$$ in her next life b/c shes already pretty close to it. Sorry you had such a bad experience. I know what you mean about thinking of something after its already happened. I'm the sameway and I get even more at myself for not thinking about it before. Try not to think about it. I know its hard but you don't want to stress over it and go into early labor.
• Canada
27 Aug 08
Oh don't worry I don't stress over things for too long... but this one instance really bugged and I just had to vent... karma is fair!!!! and what goes around comes around thats the way I see it!!!
@jmhall (143)
• United States
31 Aug 08
I swear they say that the younger generations have no manners. Just goes to show you that manner, tact and respect are not had by all. I can not beleive that someone would have the nerve to be so cruel. I probably would have let her at least had a piece of my mind as I have trouble with saying how I feel:) get me into trouble sometimes, but I am not known as a push over either for that. My daughter my be PDD and I am more concerned with the way other are going to treat her than I am for how she will be in the future. As I have faith that she will lead a full and happy life no matter what. But I fear how other will treat her. I really only had a fear for her when she is school age but hearing how you and your son were treated I am not so sure about anyone.
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
29 Aug 08
I would of thrown a package of diapers at her ignorant face! My son is also Autistic and people make remarks, but half the time, people just are not educated enough about Autism.. Before my son I remember seeing parents at the store and then looking at their out of control child or so I thought the child was out of control and I would think to myself why can't these parents get a hold on their screaming children... well... I regret those feelings... I never knew what Autism was... now that I have a child with Autism, even though he is non verbal and non violent, I now know enough about Autism and I always take the time to look at the big picture and now I even sometimes offer to help a parent out if walking down an aile and her child is screaming, I wouldn't mind asking her for her list and finishing her shopping up for her.... we should all help eachother and stick together and never judge... I'm sorry you had a bad time at Walmart... people are ignorant.... all we can do is try to educate people around us about Autism...
• Canada
29 Aug 08
She told me I should have him locked up and then she looked me up and down and scoffed. And to think you are going to have another retard baby soon... good luck to you. As the Mother of a five year old Autistic myself I am obviously as disgusted as you are over peoples ignorance!!! Obviously she is "Old School" in her thinking when they were institutionalized and forgotten about This is why I work so hard to try and raise awareness about this mental disability and that it is not a disease that you can catch etc. There are so many misconceptions still and there should not be as it is getting more and more media coverage but it still seems that people are ignorant towards this! Just know you are not the only one standing up for your child and defending yourself! It is definitely not fair that we have to work twice as hard for everything and our children have to work three or four times as hard to overcome!!! Never worry about venting...I've done it before myself! Take Care ~Heavens~
• United States
28 Aug 08
Wow, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. You are right -- she's ignorant. People in her time DID lock people up that suffered from mental illnesses. It kills me that people do not understand these things. And honestly, she probably has never had children. It's funny how people without children are always the ones to judge those who do. Well you did the right thing. Try letting it go... staying angry will only hurt you and it won't affect her in the least.
• United States
27 Aug 08
How horrible for you! I applaud your self-control. I have great self-control, too; but sometimes, I just drop it. As for her age, I decided a long time ago that you are as old as your mouth makes you. If you can say stupid and hateful things, the rest of you should be able to back them up. An old b*tch was probably a b*tch when she was younger, too. People don't turn hateful and ignorant just because they get older. I don't know what I would have done in your place. I'm usually quick with a comeback, but in this lady's case I may have just slapped her or spit in her face. She certainly deserved both. Don't second guess yourself, hon. She'll pay later for every stupid, hateful and unforgivable thing she has ever said to anybody. That's always a comfort to me.
@cher913 (25859)
• Canada
27 Aug 08
too bad that ignorant lady had to stick her nose into your business. its times like these when i would give anything for a very snappy comeback. rational thought doesnt usually come easily to these people. maybe you should have thrown something at her!
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
27 Aug 08
Sorry that happened to you. Want an ignorant, obnoxious woman. Sounds like she needed a time out!
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
27 Aug 08
That's horrible!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That woman was just mean spirited and had no business butting into your business. And, yes, you are right..she is obviously ignorant. Hugs to you and your son.
@Beaver72 (446)
27 Aug 08
What a completely ignorant and bigoted thing to say! And they say the younger generation have no respect. I'd have given her a piece of my mind, i wouldn't have cared if the woman was 19 or 119 no one has the right to say such a vile thing to anyone and especially in light that your close to giving birth to your second baby soon, its quite shameful for a 'senior' citizen to have such an ignorant point of view. Good luck with your new baby, i wish you all the very best
@LittleMel (14033)
• Canada
27 Aug 08
there you go another proof of the saying that wisdom doesn't always travel with age, sometimes age travels alone. I wouldn't care how old she is, I wouldn't hurt her physically but I would hurt her with words for sure. I know what you mean, those words didn't come to mind when you need it, but that just needs practice and bravery actually. I wasn't fast with words myself, but I trained myself and when the time comes I would just blurt it without thinking. Especially in your case, you are a customer doing nothing wrong (you are not stealing, lying or damaging a product) you can go as far as make her lose her job really.
@Chevee (5914)
• United States
27 Aug 08
I don't know what I would have done in that situation, I am not a violet person, but I think I would have tripped her up and she would have been on the floor next to my son. That old woman is going to bust hell wide open. The nerve of her. My goodness. that's a crying shame who does she think she is.