former friend and lover

Philippines
August 28, 2008 2:23am CST
what would you do if a former friend/lover reappears after 10 years? The situation is you're now both married. He said that he wants to continue whatever closeness you have before. You're still attacted with each other thats for sure, would you go for it? It's not a serious kind of relationship, just to reminisce and have fun.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
Foremost, this situation isn't as far-fetched as it seems, for me personally. In fact, I do have a male friend and prospective suitor then but fortunately or unfortunately, I turned his courtship down. We were so close that he stood as my big brother in our peer group and he really treated me as his younger sibling and best friend. In fact, we had a special relationship wherein he personally told me that he'd like to court someone, even before actually courting her who was our schoolmate. In my own point of view, he was asking for my permission of his planned courtship but as to what his motive in telling me this, I definitely didn't bother to ask. After years of being friends, he finally admitted that he felt something for me but was too afraid to tell me because he thought that this might ruin our friendship and closeness. To be totally honest about this, I was shocked, bashful, and regretful at the same time. He had a special place in my heart even before he confirmed it to me, but this wasn't my priority then. Obviously, we were still studying and I wanted to finish my college education, along with fulfilling my parents' dream for me. After graduation, I only saw him once because I chose to be as distant as possible without him noticing it. As I did this, I was really hurting but I knew that he was in somebody else's arms and partly, it was my fault. The last time I saw and talked with him was when I attended his wedding ceremony with a former schoolmate. As I reminisce now, the song "I Went to your Wedding" is very fitting with this experience. But I'd say that I managed to lead my own life. Now, I already have a family of my own. And at the present rate my life is going, I wouldn't trade it for a moment's time of temptation in exchange for a ruined and broken family. More so, I know that if I do give in to an 'affair', it would absolutely be a loss not only for me but more importantly for our daughter. And I do love our daughter too much that I wouldn't take it if she'll have bad karmic effect due to my doing.
@sirrob (4112)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
bravo..!! very well said, i could not say it more eloquent as you did. and you made the right and wise decision for the best of every party. i admire your courage and dedication.!!
@n30wing (4768)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
I don't know but some situations started from fun and then they can't escape it anymore. I just don't want that to happened to me. Pass is pass! we've moved on towards a better life. And even I am attracted to her it's a big no no to me. I just don't wanna step on anyones feet. It's enough I have love her before! Have a nice day!
@sirrob (4112)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
friendship is not a problem as long as it stays there and remained as such but if you go more and beyond that barrier which in time you might fall, as you said you are still attracted, then it would pose a bigger problems later on if that would happen. setting limits with your friendship is a most since you have both a family to take care and would be affected if you both go out alone, there's always a conflict that would arise from both spouses about this set up and it's unhealthy for everyone.
@night71 (97)
• Canada
28 Aug 08
If you were once true star crossed lovers that had everything in common and departed because of circumstances beyond your control and if you both do not truly love your spouse and have no kids, then yes. But it would be very messy anyways. But just to mess in the sack, NO WAY!
• Nepal
28 Aug 08
ok it may happens in the life but so long gap may make less love and friendship to your relation. It is the coollest thing because the relation goes and continues now with past rememberance . Old things come and reappear infront of both. If the relation goes on then they both may fall in love if there is the romatic past.
@rocker21 (2717)
• India
28 Aug 08
i'll kick her as7635783zss thats what i would do!
@nengs10 (3183)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
I won't do any thing that will soon be a problem to my relationship with my wife and family. You can still be friends but you should set a limitation and a demarcation line between the two of you. Past is past and we should all move on. If you have not moved on yet, talk to each other sincerely and after which, settle everything and be civil with one another. Marriage is serious and we should abide it.
@rsa101 (28979)
• Philippines
28 Aug 08
I am afraid that since you've accepted that there is still attraction between the two of you that "just reminisce and have fun" would lead you two to something that is not fun anymore to both of your husband and his wife. Please be fair with your husband a him to his wife. That is if both of you still love your spouses.