a disrespectful daughter?

You are in no way a disrespectful daughter, you made the effort to get to know a man who had not had anything to do with you, had denied you were even his and spent the summer with him, he would not have even got that much from me. I also have to say that if I was your Mum I would not be mad at you, I would be applauding you for giving it a go but I would also be telling you that if you did not want to be any further involved then it would be your choice. They have no rights to be mad at you, it is your decision if you do not want to get involved with him any further.

No I dont think so....what you need is time to heal. You feel pain , rejection, abandon... Even a monkey can be a father but it take a real man to be a daddy. But just remember he will never be able to change the past. Even if he changes radically.. Even if hee tried to make it up to do... what you to need to do THEN is to find deep within you the grace to forgive. Talk to God about it ...seek and your will find.

Oh dear. I'm sorry to hear that they are reacting that way about the situation. I mean, for Pete's sake, you're 17 and just met the man in July...and YOU'RE supposed to make the effort?! I find that absurd. I don't think you're wrong, and I surely don't believe you're being disrespectful. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

I do not think that it is disrespectful of you. I think it is more disrespectful of him, since he is the one that made children and then didn't look after them. It was not your choice to be born, while it was his choice to have a child. I really do not understand why your Mam is mad of all people, since he walked out, I assumed she would have been mad at him too.

Few things in life should be earned, not automatically given... Respect, trust & money being three of them... Your father didn't really have a good start to begin with... Being drunk & a sleep is not the way to earn a trust & respect... He's not your father, he's just some guy who was there when you were conceived... That's it... You don't owe him anything... Move on... You're not wrong at all... This may sound harsh but anybody can conceive or help conceive a child... It takes a special person to be a "father" to someone... Believe me, he's not it... I have a similar situation except with my daughter & her "mother"... My daughter HAS a real mother, it's my girl friend... Her biological mother has nothing to do with my daughter's life... Never has & never will... Moment that she walked away from my daughter's life is the moment she has lost everything that has to do with my daughter, respect, trust & love...

well first of all i am sorry you had to go through this first of all. and what i think about men (so call) make me upset, i could never think of doing anything like this to my kids. no matter if i was with my wife or not. now i think where your mom and grandma is coming from, we often need to forgive people in our life. and it's not so much you are forgiving your dad for him, but for yourself. and letting go of the pass as well. instead of holding onto it. calling him is the right thing to do, because it shows you are making an effort at it, and you are the bigger and better person in this. and even if he don't talk to you at least you can say hey i did try and he don't want to talk to me. but i am praying you do have a postive male role in your life, a step dad, uncle, or grandfather. just because that peice of.. is your your father, it don;t make him your dad. it takes a specail male to be a dad, anyone can be a father. best of luck to you.

Follow your heart, mstenee. I'm sure you're old enough to make this choice. In my honest opinion, knowing what he's done and still continues to do, I wouldn't want to speak to him either. Consider it his loss. For your sake, I that he'll shape up and show some responsibility and love towards you in the near future. By not calling him, you are NOT being disrespectful in any way. It is HIS JOB as a father to contact YOU! That is what you should tell your mother and grandmother. After all, we didn't ask to be born.

I don't think you are being disrespectful at all. This man comes back into your life, after a lifetime of being gone, and then doesn't even hang out with you. If you're trying to make up with someone that is not how you behave. I completely understand what you are going through. My father is a jerk, too. When I was little the court said I didn't have to see him anymore as he is verbally abusive. When I was a teenager I tried to reestablish a relationship with him. It didn't work out. Once a jerk always a jerk. The last time I saw him was when I was 21 and he made me cry. After that, never again. I don't even talk to him on the phone. If you think this person is emotionally bad for you, stay away from them. Being related doesn't matter and you're not a disrespectful person.

I understand where you are coming from. I've never met my father but my biological mother (I was adopted) call me out of the blue. I was unprepared for it and felt extremely uncomfortable. My ex is a drunk. My kids want nothing to do with him.

mstenee I think that given what your father has not done for you, he needs to earn your respect not vice versa. He has not shown that he cares a great deal about you so why do others feel you must go out of your way for him. let him be a father in all the ways that count then you would be well advised to make up with him. I cannot blame you for feeling as you do. I dont think you are a bit disrespectful. a real father would put his daughter 'first before naps and drunkeness.

Good day... I think how you treat your father has a valid basis but the thing is he's still your father and you her daughter. He may have failed to do his duty as a father but if he's asking you for another chance or to redeem himself woud you deny him of that? Would you fail as a daughter too? I think you should give him a chance and move on with your life. It's not easy nor healthy to carry a grudge for someone specially your father. Just my 1 cent.

I dont believe so. He is your father and someday you might forgive him, holding a grudge isn't healthy. but you have to do these things in your own time. No one can push you. Someday you will either forgive him or not. I do suggest to talk to him someday soon, even if it's to chew him out for all the things he did wrong. You never know when his last day will be.

I suppose u it 's kind of disrespectful for not calling your father...No matter what he has done inthe past, he 's still your dad..Why not give him n your self a chance to get 2 know each other more n catch up with the lost time.. Perhaps he isn't the man u think he might be once u get 2 know him better..Give a try my dear, "People change as time change"

Dear mstenee,can you tell me how old you are?at first,you are a good child,believe yourself! perhaps there are many "bad" or unsuitable parents in this world,it's turely existed,nevertheless,i don't think one father or mother will not love their children yet.i am a mother now,i have the real feeling as a parent.believe me,you should have a pacific talk with your father,and tell him you love him,and look forward to getting his love,too.let him know you are an adult,now,you can control everything and deal with that by yourself.good luck!

Your mother is right when she asked you to call your father cause not matter what he does or says he will still be your father. As you are unable to adjust with him so soon , he too would be having some kind of guilt that he cannot face you. You both need time and space at the same time, to know each other.