Friends and Best Responses

United States
August 30, 2008 10:55am CST
I make no bones about it. I'm here for part of my online time and somewhere else the other part. What confuses me about here are many things: 1) Why people are so adamant about NOT adding friends until they have "proven" themselves by having posts and comments. 2) Why so many newbie articles are passed over, often when they're the BEST articles around. This morning, at my other haunt, I made a comment that I have to admit was a doggone good one. Immediately after posting it, I got 3 friend requests. That got me to thinking. I have 5 pages of "best responses" here. But I don't think I've ever had someone request a friendship connection here after having a good response - not even from the one who decided my response was the "best." When I first arrived - before I realized how "political" this place was about numbers - when I saw a great response (even if the poster didn't think it was the best response) - I would request friendship. Funny thing, though. Most of those were not accepted. Then I read an article about how people here don't accept friendship from newbies who have not proven themselves. I find this whole thing rather sad. It makes MyLot such a clique. And I'm betting (in fact I know, because I've spoken to some...) that people end up leaving here because no one responds to their posts or to their friend requests. Why is that? Does anyone realize that we might be missing out on some great posts...when those folks up and leave??? So I'm curious. How do you select friends? Do YOU ever ask for friendship from someone after he/she leaves a great comment on your post?
1 person likes this
3 responses
• United States
1 Sep 08
1st - let me say thank you for accepting my own invitation ! 2nd - given that I have the "stigma" of being new and unproven - I quite possibly may appreciate it even more than I could express... I have been wondering myself why it has been so difficult to be a part of MyLot - and have noticed that on the only 2 other occassions that I extended a friend invitation - that I wasn't responded to at all - not even "declined". Unfortunately - I'm not able to spend time here every day - much as I would like to - sooo - it would seem that my own "acceptance" will likely be long in the coming... It has struck me as a bit odd tho - seems to me that an on-line forum such as this would encourage newbies to participate, rather than the current (and in only a general way)"prove you're worthy" mentality -... However - on the bright side, I have at least met you - and have discovered that you, do propose some interesting topics !
• United States
2 Sep 08
I'm glad we connected. Frankly, even after over 1400 posts, I don't have many "fans" to my discussions, nor many friends. Perhaps one day. Meanwhile, I'll continue reaching out to those who do respond and to newbies (that I often find in discussions with no responses).
@winzpc (2356)
• Indonesia
30 Aug 08
I dont choose a members to become my friends. I welcome to all myLot members to become my friends. Because I in community site that everyday have a new user. So I want to make a big friendship in here. I don't ever ask people after he give a respond or maybe mark me as a best responder. I do it as I like. I add he/she or I approve them.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Aug 08
You said, "I don't ever ask people after he give a respond or maybe mark me as a best responder." Then my next question is, why not? If someone gives a good response, which more likely than not means it falls within your own beliefs on things (since we tend to think the best responses agree with us), then why not ask for a friend request? I still don't understand. Nor do I understand the mindset that says you have to prove you are worthy by being active (as defined by whom??) before being bestowed a friend request. Imagine if no one read any new authors until they had proven themselves. Would that ever happen...if no one bought their books until everyone else did? Makes no sense to me.
@hellcowboy (7380)
• United States
31 Aug 08
I know what you mean my friend it is kind of puzzling why some people will not be friends with other mylotters just because they have no posts or comments and that is just silly if you ask me,and when it comes to making friends I will usually add anyone who requests me to at least give them a chance but if I find that their manner is crude or that they are never on then I will end up deleting them,or if I see someone gave a great response to my discussion or left a good comment on my response than I will attempt to add them.
1 person likes this