Whose fault was it?
September 1, 2008 6:57am CST
Today people talk about my uncle, who is currently a navy officer. Sure, his job is pretty good and supposed to make him rich. However, he actually has nothing. When he was yong he married a beautiful woman, who graduated from a very famous university. They were so happy that my worked hard and made a progress everyday. His happy days didn't last long. Two years later, after my cousin was born, my uncle's ex-wife died of cancer, leaving his son alone. My uncle took a bad shock when her wife died. Meanwhile, no one could take good care of my poor cousin since he only cried for his mom. My uncle's family was starting to disintegrate. At the time, my cousin's aunt who was my uncle-in-law's sister went far away from her hometown so as to take care of my cousin. Maybe she looked like my cusin's mom, or maybe she was very tender. My cousin became obedient. Day after day, my uncle was deeply moving by her kindness. Also, he had fallen in love with her. However, her health was in evil case. My uncle wanted to get married with her. But his sisters and my grandparents were strongly against their marriage. My grandparents and all his sisters said that they would break off with my uncle. They knew they would hurt my uncle and his son. However, if they didn't do this, they were afraid that she might die young like her siser for her poor health. Then, my uncle would be in the abyss of despair. As a result, my uncle didn't even have a choice. He broke up with her. He married another woman who was beautiful as well as healthy. She married a very rich man is in another big city. Notwithstanding, my uncle wasn't happy. From then on, he drank away his life and threw his fortune to the dogs. His parents and his sisters didn't expect that. They were for his good. Some people said that my uncle was a coward. He just didn't want to hurt anyone. But he hurt himself. I didn't know who fault was it! Something has been done cannot been changed. His parents and sisters were sorry for him and tried to cheer him up. It didn't work!
• United States
3 Sep 08
Sad story, but you asked us to assign guilt. Not an easy assignment. According to USA custom where families are not as close as in many other countries, the fault belongs to your uncle's siblings for sticking their nose into something that was none of their business. I believe that every one involved, except your cousin, has to share the blame, the siblings for being manipulative and your uncle for letting them and for turning to drink for solace. It is interesting that you indicated your uncle to be a rich naval officer. In the US navy, their officers are paid sufficient that they can live comfortably, if they are careful with their money, but they certainly would not be considered rich if their navy pay were their only source of income.
3 Sep 08
As a navy officer, my uncle's income is pretty high. Also, the goverment provides homes, hospitals, meet, rice, etc for them. Besides, it is half-price travel including air, railway, etc. for students and service man in China. Thanks for your kind response. Take care!
• United States
11 Sep 08
First everybody has no right to stop him from marrying whoever he wants to.He should follow his heart and be happy.He was unhappy because he got married with the woman that he didn't love.Happiness from wealth just fade away.It would be nice to have a complete and happy family that you love and loves you in return.Your uncle was weak.He should face the trials that came into his life and stay strong.I just hope he would realize that life must go on no matter what happened.Losing someone you love doesn't mean the end of the world.He has still a son that could give him strenght and courage.
2 Sep 08
It is a sad story...I will not call your uncle a coward..but he lacked the confidence of making a decision ...As your family was fearing...that marriage may not have worked..But , if your uncle had taken a decision , to marry the lady ,with whom his son was moving well...least that would have make him happy.. What is your opinion , in my opinion , your family should have encouraged him for that marriage..
1 Sep 08
This my friend is life. It is sad that family interfere for ones own good and end up doing more harm. I know my friend was in love with a boy who was not of her cast. Her parents forcibly got her married to one of their own cast and he treated her very badly. She became a ghost of the fun loving girl we knew. As for the boy who loved her, he too got married to another and kept her soooo happy. Now the parents of the girl regret but cant do anything. This is something similar to your uncles life, and nobody but himself can help himself. He has to make an attempt to get back his life in order. Its just fate, for we are destined to marry one particular person and nobody can change that.