Freudian slips - Ever went to speak and then it comes out embarassingly wrong?

This is gonna sound really wierd, but i'm laughing just thinking about it! A few months ago i was watching a show om tv about a man that ate roadkill. Some kids got his phone number and started making prank calls to him. One of the called and said - in a really funny voice - "you ate my puppy, puppy sucker!" it relly amused me, and i called my friend to tell her to watch it but she couldn't understand what i was saying because i was laughing so much so i decided to text her instead, so i repeated what had been saidm thinking i'd written "you ate my puppy, puppy sucker" i sent the message. it was only after a little while when i received a very confused response that i realised it had gone wrong, i looked in my sent messages and realised that in my phone;s predictive text, puppy comes up as p*ssy!!! Had a hard time explaining that to her but she ended up laughing even harder than i had in the first place!! hehe xxx

There is a saying in Marathi and Hindi (both Indian dialects) that rewards the bearer of good tidings with "Ghee and Sugar in your mouth". "Tere moonha main Ghee shakkar'.Now, we had an all branch meeting in another city and we were in the middle of lunch when an assistant brought good news which she conveyed to me softly. Joyous, I cried out 'Tere moonha main Ghoo Shakkar", much to the horror of all those seated around the table and having lunch with me. ("Sh*it and Sugar in your mouth!" Now this assistant has been spreading some slanted rumors about me and trying to create a bad impression about me, and this was something that I'd found out just minutes before we sat down for our lunch, and though I didn't mean to speak the words I did, I did inadvertently blurb them out. Well, I shared the good news with my friends and apologized for my boo-boo and then we all had a good laugh at the expense of the assistant. I know that sounds wicked or pathetic, but such people don't last too long in our company that has been built on trust and faith in each other.

I have experienced this kind of scenario when I was in the university back then. It was funny and would surely make all the people around you laugh. That's also good since we are learning in some ways. Enjoy.

On my last job I had a huge box of paper towels to take from the basement to put out on the floor of the store.. At the time the boxes were stacked pretty high along a wall in the basement and the paper towels were located right in the middle of the other boxes about halfway up the wall with others stacked on the top.. We had a "cutesy, cutesy" security guard working with us and he was in the basement when I was trying to get the box out of the huge stack.. Without thinking, I told him, "If he would get it out, I would get it up".. I never thought anything about it until he started laughing so hard he almost choked, only then did I realize what I had said.. I thought that I would die of embarrassment and he never let me forget it..

I remember once I was at our church conference, and I had to make the report for the usher board. Everybody else made their financial report, this is the way it went. I would like to make the report for the deacons, report of $275.00 dollars plus conference cost of $25.00. This is what I said.....I would like to make the report for the usher board $300.00 plus $25.00 Court cost. And the pastor had a nerve to say I see somebody had to go to court. I could have went through the floor. I had court on my mind, because my son had gone to court I went with him and was upset at the whole thing, so court was on my mind.

The other day I was on the phones at work and had to make an announcment that a customer's car was ready . We have to repeat announcement twice. First time I got it out right but the second time it came out as "John Doe please report to TLE your customer is ready", instead of "your car is ready". My friend came out of the back and said that all the stock room employees had a good laugh back there over that. So glad I could amuse them...lol

I usually say something similar but usually my mistake is making the f sounds like a p in a word and its really embarrassing especially when you are talking to someone in a position in the company.

Hello James, Weren't we just talking about this the other day? I think we all have our share of Freudian slips. But sometimes, they are just pure typo and I wouldn't really call it Freudian. Occasionally, it may be the spell check that is messing things up!