Should I Break Up with My Girlfriend for This New Girl I Like?

@slepart (207)
Philippines
September 2, 2008 8:44pm CST
I really need some advice. I recently met this girl at orientation for this new job I started, it is at a huge office so we don't really work together. I think she is really great and I want to get to know her better. The thing is I'm already in a relationship and have a girlfriend. We have been dating for about one and a half years now. She has broken up with me on several occasions but I always managed to kiss up and get her back. She hasn't broken up with me because I cheated or anything like that, it's just that we are both so different and we both sometimes agree that we are not compatible. Now this other girl that I met seems to like me but she is always so busy, she goes to school full time and works part time. When I call her she never really has time to talk to me and says that she will call me back but then she doesn't. Is she just playing games ? Maybe she is still immature, I don't know? I just can't stop thinking about this girl and I know it's not fair to the girl I have been with the past year and a half. I don't know what to do. Should I pursue this new girl and risk losing something that is already there or should I stay with the old girl and maybe get dumped again in the future? I can't get this new girl off my mind.
11 people like this
34 responses
@akb6753 (43)
• India
3 Sep 08
You are still immature; you seem to be childish. Children always show affinity towards new toys. And this is very natural with every individual. Don't you repeatedly wear the new shirt which you might have bought recently. But this does not happen in kind of relation ship you are talking about. You shold ensure that you remain sincere to your girlfriend; after all you know her for over a year. You can always settle out difference with her - this should not be difficult for both of you. Keep an open mind while talking about differences. Allow her to speak up and try to accomodate her in your life. Give value and importance to her suggestions or comments. Help her when ever she is in problems. Always keep in touch with her and let her realise the she is some one you adore; that she is most important in your life. And your relationship will prosper.
2 people like this
• China
3 Sep 08
i'm also a girl. frankly speaking, i don't like boy always changes his girlfriend except some special reasons. we all need a faithful boyfriend or husband, we all want a unique love from husband or boyfriend. maybe it's not your fault to feel in lover with new girl, but you have to tell your girl friend the trueth. if she can't bare, depart the best way, you won't hurt each other any more. as for the new girl, please don't judge a girl by her apperence. please keep wise head and go to know about her by heart. if she is really worth you love. i wish you give make a wise choose.
2 people like this
@amyers06 (61)
• United States
3 Sep 08
Okay. First of all let me stress that this is just what I think. DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST! My dad has been on and off with this woman for like a year and a half. They break up and get back together and over again. I asked him why he kept getting back with her and he said that he was just lonely. Watching all of this unfold, refold, and unfold again and again, I believe it is best for two people that are like that to break up and be friends. If two people love each other and want to be together, breaking up should be the last thing on their minds. Now, about the girl you like and are curious about... well, if I were you, I would ask her out and just see how it goes... after/if you break up with girl number 1. If she seems like or says that she doesn't have the time for a relationship, respect that, but don't just not ever talk to her again. The best love stories are the ones that begin with friendships! Hope that helps. GOOD LUCK!
@Kaeli72 (1230)
• United States
3 Sep 08
This is a hard question to answer but luckily for us, you've included so much details. Thank you. After reading your post and had a chance to think back on my own life, I've thought that you're at a 50/50. Both girls offer a pro and they both have a con. Women like to play around with the emotions of the male. Perhaps it's a game to her or...because she wants to make sure you're serious. Then again, she really could be that busy and not have the time for you that you need. If the girl from work is the one you really want, you need to remember her time is valuable. It's not easy when that happens because you want to be the center of attention. Trust me, I know what that's like.
2 people like this
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
Well if you don't love your present girlfriend now, well then go tell her the truth... but if you still love her and just wanna throw what have you been through on the past, then i'll say your stupid.. Don't waste girls dude you might just get your karma sooner than you never expected.. Look you've been with your girl on the past ONE YEAR AND A HALF! and you just wanna throw away all the memories for just another girl? Well yea if your still in teenage stages like me, you really wanna get another girl but try to understand girl's feelings too... You'll see what will happened if you'll just let go of a girl.. You can only let go of a girl if you don't love her yet.. And if ever her parents doesn't like you, well then fight for your love dude.. Don't waste the effort that the girl gaves you or you'll be the looser.. happy mylotting.. And enjoy posting =)
2 people like this
@jeanchia (138)
• Malaysia
3 Sep 08
First of all, if your love for your girlfriend is strong, you shouldn't have any feelings for other girls. Settle your issue with your girlfriend first before making move on the new girl.
1 person likes this
@ganda8831 (816)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
Does the new girl even like you? from the sound of it, she doesnt. She has other priorities so she doesnt have time for a relationship. Or probably she already has a boyfriend. With regards to your girlfriend, ask yourself if you still love her. If you dont love her anymore, what's the use of prolonging the relationship. If you're meant for each other, you'll end up together.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18449)
• India
3 Sep 08
First try to think. I would better say retrospect. Till now you have made up with your GF all the times? why so? when you both are so much different what made you do so? to be just in any relationship? and now when you think you have got someone better, you try to breakup in your own?so my advice would be try to look at real fact.
1 person likes this
@tununsu (42)
3 Sep 08
I think you can consult with a psychiatrist as early as possible .pepole who are engage with changing girl friend frequently and try to forget ex girl friend because of new one, i think they are really mentally sick.
1 person likes this
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
I think you are just confused. Maybe you should think about what you really first for your coworker. Also you should make it sure first that you wouldn't commit the same mistakes that you have done in the past relationship if ever you get with that new girl. I wish you all the best and a clear heart and mind in whatever decision you take.
@bunzor (303)
3 Sep 08
If you like somebody else, then in my opinion you shouldn't stay with your girlfriend because she is obviously not the right one for you. You should break up with your girlfriend, and move on and hopefully get to know the new girl better. Good luck
• Zambia
3 Sep 08
... and it should be hoped that he will not fall for yet another girl after he has settled with this new one. In short, I think our friend here has to decide on what he really wants in a woman. Reading his testimony, I take it that he is not settled on his partner choice and is very likely undergoing some sort of infatuation with the new girl.
1 person likes this
@bunzor (303)
3 Sep 08
Very true!
@austere (2814)
• Philippines
3 Sep 08
man, you're in a real complicated situation. well, it all boils down to what you want to do with your life. and the question there is who do you love. if you are not inlove with your girlfriend then why do you have to stick to the relationship that you have with her...? if you think you like the other girl, think of the long term, can you afford to lose your girlfriend for her? well, i really cant decide on your behalf, because it's what you feel that matters.
• United States
3 Sep 08
A lot of people think that feelings matter. If feelings mattered so much, then why do feelings change so often. Feelings don't matter as much as deciding to love someone. If you can't decide to do so on a daily basis, then the relationship should not be. Just end it before too many feelings get hurt.
@austere (2814)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
well, that's for me, if that's your opinion and perspective about choosing who to stay with, then i respect that. feelings matter for me, because i don't stick with somebody i cant be happy with, or whom i don't love, or who doesn't love me back. what's the purpose of the relationship if that's the case?
@aimseeker (113)
• Pakistan
3 Sep 08
hhmmm ...the same old story....but if u talk about my point of view....i say ur a kind of dis-loyal person./..how can u just leave ur ex-girlfriend for a newbie... doesn't that mean u an do the same to this new one.....so try to stick with one...and b honest with her.....and not to deceive her......
• Zambia
3 Sep 08
Yeah, I agree with you on that point: disloyal and dishonest.
• India
5 Sep 08
if the girl says, she is busy, that means she is not intersted in talking to her, call in the evening when she is free, if she still says she is busy, then she is avoiding you
@nengs10 (3183)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
You really have to think over and over again. This is a kind of dilemma wherein you should decide for the better and not for the worse. It's not fair if you'll just leave your girl without any good reasons. Dissect all the possibilities and think of the future. Who is real better of between them? It's up to you to decide. Kudos.
@cecelgay (563)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
Hi Slepart, well it seems that you're having a hard time to decide about this two girls, well, it is you who can answer your question, you've said that your gf dump you for how many times but you keep on winning her back over and over, the question is why even you're both admitted that you're not really compatible..You are the one who really knows how strong is your feelings to your gf. And your asking if you'll pursue in courting her and risk everything that you have today, you can answer that, how strong is your feeling to that woman, if you have more feelings for her than to your present gf then go for it, love is an art of war, is a also a game and in every game there is a bet, now this time your relationship with your present gf is at stake, but you'll never win any battle if you did not even try to fight. I hope you get what i am trying to say. If you lose dont regret on it put in your mind that at least you try than living with unanswered question in your mind. Have a good day and Good luck..
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
4 Sep 08
well, if you are so easily willing to leave "what's already there" then I'd say it is time to call it quits anyway...with or without new girl on the horizon. it isn't fair to stay with your girl until "something better comes along". set her free and yourself as well. As for this new girl...who knows? I'd say go for it and see where it leads...why not? you won't ever know if you don't try. Again...it is time to end the relationship you are in...end it and you won't have to ask this sort of advice.
@ehlsie (730)
• Philippines
4 Sep 08
it's sounds you're having a trouble choosing between ladies...As a girl my advice for you is follow what your heart says and faced the consequences on it...It's like this, You just choose only one and lose one of them or lose them both..On your situation, i really don't know who'll you choose..If you choose your current girlfriend and lose the other, or the other way around.It's better you to pick before you lose them both. The reality here is, there is always one must hurt and suffer.That's love.But before you choose, you should know the consequences might happen and accept it was it is because you're the one who choose what you want and you ust not regret on what you lose. I just follow what your heart and mind says... Hope i give you idea on what to do... Goodluck!
@Pose123 (21660)
• Canada
4 Sep 08
Hi slepart, I think you have to give this some thought, and you are still young so neither of these girls may be the right one for you. You say that your girlfriend has broken up with you on several occasions, and the new girl don't seem to have a lot of time to get to know you, but maybe she will later. I think you really have to make the choice yourself for right now, but don't be surprised if in a year from now, you are in a relationship with someone you haven't even met yet. Blessings.
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Sep 08
hi slepart you are young yet, and sound more like you keep the girlfriend you have just to have somebody because you dont really care all that much about her. to be fair to her, tell her you have met someone else, and break it off. then you can either go your own way alone or try to connect with the new girl. or just wait a year or two til you are more mature and know what you like and do not like in a girlfriend.It takes two people' to make a couple so look for someone with the same values as yourself.