Do you ever feel unappreciated?
September 5, 2008 2:00pm CST
when my hubby died, i had boocoos of money for a while. i was stupid and shared with all my family. i sent the kids money when they needed it. i also, sent them good amounts for BD's, xmas, etc. I was working also. when i lost my job and was sick i had only one kid in 5 that stepped up and helped me, as i was helping her with money also tho. she has 3 kids and when i lived there she wanted for nothing. i bought new washer, dryer, paid off their van,etc. now im in my own place again as i had to get away from all the uproar. my daughter, that dont like driving the van keeps saying its not running well. so, she drives my car. so, im here waiting for a ride if i need to go anywhere. there for a while, when i still had money, she'd be over every day to help me. now, she doesnt even call most times and waits for me to call and say i need things so as a result i feel very unappreciated. sorry for the long vent here, but had to get it out. so, vent here if you feel unappreciated by someone or as in my case, EVERYONE
2 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 08
Firstly, I would like to say that I am sorry for the loss of your husband. That probably makes things harder for you. I do understand where you are coming from feeling unappreciated. Sometimes other people may not understand or feel appreciative of your worth. Sometimes it is hard for us to tell people how we feel. It is okay to vent. I am listening and hopefully you will have some more responses from well wishers.
5 Sep 08
I'm so sorry that your children are treating you in this manner. Money does this to everybody, no matter how close you might be. Where money is concerned, there is no such thing as family ties, and what not. Everybody is on their own when it comes to money. That's what i realised from just looking around me. As the Chinese saying goes Talking about money will only hurt relationships. So where relationship is concerned (family, friends, boyfriend...) it is always better to draw a clear line at money, so that there would be no arguements later on. I remember 8 years back when my grand-dad passed away, my whole family broke up and the once closely knitted family of 14 uncles, 4 aunties and 30+ cousins scattered as everybody fought for the inheritance. Cousins were forbidden to talk to each other by their parents, and my grandmother got the worst of it all! Now, she is the only one holding on 50% of my grandfather's property, and every single uncle and aunties of mine are being so hypocritical and treating her like a treasure. But, we the younger generation knows, they are just hoping that she will passed on and they would get their hands on her inheritance. That's all to their fake concern and care for their own parents. And what a good example that they are setting for us younger generation. Lol. Well, perhapes you could try communicating with your children, about what you expect of them, and try getting them to show a bit of appreciation for what you had done for them over the years. It's no use whining as it turns people off and shuts down their willingness to listen. Talk just about facts, list them down as it is, and get your children to face up to reality. Afterall, I am sure that they themselves would not want their children to treat them the way they are treating you right? It would be retribution as children learnt from their parents, and what good examples are your children setting to your grandchildren? Sadly, the society is not like what it used to be in the past, where filial piety is once considered as a good quality in a person. Now, it is not emphasized, and majority of the people are forced to become more and more self-centered as all of us are racing against time to make ends meet.. Morales and values are all gone with the advancement in technology and our economies. That's the harsh reality of life, and I guess it would only get worse in the future. Sigh ¬
5 Sep 08
Oh Well, look on the bright side of life... You still have .. *Drumrolls* US!! No matter what, I don't think your daughter is thinking that way. Perhapes everybody is just too wrapped up in herself, such that she wasn't thinking for you.. But I doubt if any children would be so viscous though
12 Sep 08
That's really sad. It looks like all your life you have worked for others, thought about others, slaved for others, even if they are your own kids. Well, they are all grown up and settled now. Why not pamper yourself now? Live for yourself, enjoy yourself. Don't worry about how others behave. It is just not worth it. Cheers and happy mylotting
• United States
6 Sep 08
Hey bunny. Sorry for the way you're feeling. It's really sad to find out that you're kids are treating you like that. I feel bad for you. That's not right that they were willing to take your money when you had it and now that you don't and you need them they aren't there for you. I don't really know what to say to make you feel better. These are your children. They shouldn't have to be asked by you to do things, they should just want to help you because you are their mom and you have been really good to them. I hope they realize this for themselves soon.
5 Sep 08
Hi bunnybon7, Vent as much you want because I often wanted to do that, my brother and my eldest sister had everything from my mum and yet after my mum passed six years ago they hardley went to visit her grave and my other sister was really angry about it because she is the only one who goesand look after the grave, I can't go because I live too far, so I do understand I you feel. Tamara
• Garden Grove, California
12 Sep 08
bunnybon hi seems that money does sometimes bring a lot of so called friends just bursting all over to help you out, long 'as you are there to get them out of pinches. but when it appears you are no longer Mrs. GotRocks these friends are more apt to be busy when you need a little help. I think its time you quit being Mrs. santa Claus and let these friends have to work to pay for their washers and dryers and cars and etc etc.instead ask them for things so as to sort of even the scales a bit.It was nice of you to do all you did for them but now its your turn for sure.
• Holiday, Florida
12 Sep 08
yes, your right and thats exactly what ive done Hatley i asked my daughter to get over here with the car and she didnt yet, but she did send her hubby over to pay me some money on what they owe me and to go buy me some coffee. so, the tables have been turned and we shall go from there