domino effect in anger

@Hatley (164237)
Garden Grove, California
September 5, 2008 8:14pm CST
hi mylotters have you ever had this experience? Yourmate says 'something irritating to you. this in turn makes you feel really'grumpy so when your little girl comes in all dirty and her dress all muddy, you yell, I told you a million times not to play in that mudhole. Now the little girl is really angry. the family dog comes in and nuzzles the little girls hand. she is angry and yells,dumb old dog, just leave me alone. now the husband comes home from work, and stops to pet the dog. the dog is angry and snaps at man, who in turn yells, Martha the damned dog tried to bite me. This vicious cycle we in my house called the Domino effect as one hit the other and so on. Have you ever had thedomino effect in your own family where the anger was passed from one to the other? your views pleasel
4 people like this
12 responses
@vanities (11410)
• Davao, Philippines
6 Sep 08
well yeah it does and always if im not in the mood or been upset of something..i hate my mood actually and appreciate my husband for have such patience on me when im not really in the mood or something...but im slowly trying to change it and hope i will succeed...those children are grown up now and does need any unreasonable outbursts..
• Singapore
6 Sep 08
Don't forget to treasure him then, my friend.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
its so good when one has a mate that has a wonderful ability to be patient with us no matter what. my husband was like that too so when on rare ocassions he snapped at me, I really came unglued.
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
6 Sep 08
It happens to all of us, I'm sure. it seems funny the way you describe it and may seem funny to the family afterwards.it sure isn't funny when it happens though
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
right on fwidman its not a bit funny when you are right in the midst of it and wondering why you snapped so hard at your innocent child.
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
12 Oct 09
Thanks for the BR :)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Oct 09
hi fwidman you are welcome still love thatnice slim ankles in those pretty red shoes lol lol lol
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@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Sometimes we get into a cycle without even realizing it's happening. Somewhere the cycle has to be changed. Since it's harder to change others than yourself I'd suggest that when you find yourself in this cycle...take time to slow down, collect yourself and instead of passing it on, stop it right at you. Before long the cycle will be broken. It's not as easy as it sounds but it might work out for you. [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~ [/b]
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@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
hi twoey68 I learned that the hard way and my hubby was the one who taught me, he was the easy going slow to anger one, and when I started to fume I managed to tame myself by pretending I was him and viewing things as he would and it worked.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
7 Sep 08
I'm glad to hear you got it worked out. It isn't easy to break a cycle once we get it going so congrats on doing it :) [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~ [/b]
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Oct 09
hi twoey one yr later my husband was always my calm in stormy seas. i still miss him. after all these years.
@dawnald (84075)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Sep 08
Yep - usually it's when the husband is grumpy with me it get passed on to the kids or the pets. Sometimes is back and forth onto each other though. But I don't like anger so usually I just bite my tongue.
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@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Oct 09
dawnald hi yr later here wow. I am the same way now,I have mellowed now I am older. I used to have a quick temper' but it was always over just as quick.
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
8 Sep 08
[i]Hi Hatley, hmm..When I was single and staying with parents, when one is angry, the other one will always tease...Like when Dad is angry, the rest of the family will tease him so it will end up laughing and teasing, we never had any anger that was pass through because if it is very serious, the rest of the family will keep quiet and just listen! With my hubby, same story, when I am mad, he will not stop teasing me and when I am very serious about it, he will just shutt up and then wait until I will calm down![/i]
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@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Oct 09
my hubby was the same way which was so good as my dad had a very'short fuse and we generally walked on eggshells around him,
• United States
8 Sep 08
Everyday of our lives, ROFLMBO. Yes I think every family has the Domino effect if they are human. Why does it seem like it always starts with the man. I thought that was maybe just at my house, but it seems it is everywhere. I guess maybe it goes back to the biblical, the man being the head of the household. I can be upset with one of the kids and not take it out on anyone else, or with strangers, but let me be upset with the hubby and domino's start toppling. Thanks for sharing it feels good to know I am not the only one. Blessings Marilyn
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Oct 09
hi olivebranch one yr.late here yes its almost universal I think he he he
@ellie333 (21018)
6 Sep 08
Hi Hatley, I think every household has experienced this one from time to time, but I like to have to domino effect of laughter going on in mine as often as possible and even impossible situations can be turned around on that too. My middle daughter is the first for starting the ange one though, she'll have the hump over a tect received and start moping and then someone will tell her to snap out of it and it all ends up out of hand, so these days we try to ignore it and carry on as usual so we all aren't in a bad mood because of it. Huggles. Ellie :D
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
hi ellie yes laughter can calm things and turn the anry person around , my husband used to do that with me when something had made me angry by making a joke from the thing that had happened to me. I would end up laughing about it which was much better.
@bunnybon7 (43287)
• Holiday, Florida
6 Sep 08
yes and i wouldnt buy into it! when i lived at my daughters, her family done that to each other all the time. i on the other hand have always realised i should be angry only at the person im angry at. i used to point it out to them and refused to speak to any of them that took it out on me. until they would apoligise. it worked until i left. their now right back at it.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
hi bunnybon I learned to let it stop at me, and calm myself, and then work out whatever my hubby was upset about. he was seldom that way so it usually was something serious that needed talking over.
@Opal26 (17686)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Hi Hatley! Yes, this is so true! I don't have the family anymore, but I do know exactly what you mean only now on a much smaller scale. In fact it happened last night. My boyfriend and I were arguing over some stuff and he got me really angry. I told him not to talk to me anymore last night and to just leave me alone. I was already in a bad mood because he had been making me angry for the last week along with some things that I have been going through myself. I was banging dishes in the kitchen and then the poor little cat came in to see me and I yelled at him to leave me alone! He didn't even do anything! He was just doing his usual whining to get my attention and I'm giving him a whole story about why he shouldn't bother me and how I'm in a really bad mood, like he would understand! Poor little cat! So yes, this is the domino effect, just a little bit smaller! If there were more people in the house it would have been a bigger effect!
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
hi opal been there too and done that. and it was my dog who did not deserve it, so ended up cuddling my dog, and my son came back, and I cuddled him too, and hubby came in and oh my we ended up in bed. what more can I say.
@neildc (17251)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
6 Sep 08
It happened some times with us too. But I learned from experience. Once my wife gets angry, I keep myself quiet. I don't want to keep her anger longer and made other people be affected with it, especially me. (neildc @ red/89/1790)
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@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
neildc you are aprince like my own husband was. he was the calm one who smoothed me out, so on rare ocassions when he s napped at me, I was so shocked my anger boomeranged onto my kids and my pets but I did learn finally to control my anger and not vent onto innocent people.
• Singapore
6 Sep 08
Hi Patsie, Yes I have observed that domino effect both in myself and others. It is a shame though sometimes a mortal blessing that most of us are not able to control our feelings and emotions. You may apply to the Bene Gesserit sisterhood but I don't think they would take me. What we can do is to reflect when this happens so that we can strive to NOT repeat the same mistake. It would do our loved ones no good to suffer our temper for something through no fault of theirs. Cheers! PS.: It is understandable though in that sometimes we just need to yell and hurt someone (probably due to our barbaric roots) just so we can vent away the anger and be at peace once again.
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@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
hi lorwarwizard as usual you are wisdom personified. I was blessed with a husband who almost always was incontrol and smoothed me out of my angry bouts. so when rare times he did snap at me, I was astounded and I boomeranged instead of being rational and my poor family suffered from it.
@jammyt (2822)
• Philippines
6 Sep 08
Your story is really funny and I could actually imagine all the racket the whole thing created! Yup this is something common that has happened one time or another to me. Good thing is that it doesn't happen that often. LOL!
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@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 08
hi jammyt yes its good that we usually do keepour tempers under control.