has anyone ever lost a baby? I need help with what you told someone or were told

I had an early miscarriage and my sister in law has a total of FIVE miscarriages before she finally had her son. Women who lose a child grieve. Their hormones are stick going crazy and the thought that a baby is gone, even if it's a very early miscarriage is really hard for most women who miscarry. A card saying you're sorry about what happened and will be there to listen if she wants to talk is so nice. When it happened to me, I heard "It's God will" and "The baby was probably not right so it's for the best". THAT didn't help me. I just wanted someone to listen and understand that, although I wasn't far along, I just lost something I had planned would be in my life forever. And women also ask what they did wrong to have a miscarriage happen. Guilt, grief, sadness, emotions... Just be there and don't say it's for the best. Just say how sorry you are and stop there. Saying she can always get pregnant again is going to just make her feel like you don't understand. A personal call would be nice. If she wants to talk about that she will, if not just a call to see how she is doing would go a long way. It's hard to understand if it never happened to you and I hope it never does. It's a real heartbreak.

I believe I lost a baby in the second month of pregnancy. There wasn't a "fetus" in the toilet or anything as my roomate told me there should be but I had cramps and pain and a discharge. She, being a chemist, told me I should have seen a "fetus". I had missed two periods. Her factual approach wounded me to the heart, denied my sorrow and intimated that I was crazy. I think that if someone has experienced a miscarriage that a sympathy card should be mailed or delivered. It's a very real sorrow. I pray that you don't experience this and have a healthy child that brings you a lifetime of joy!

I have had many friends go through a miscarriage (or more) and I have had 3 of my own after the healthy births of four beautiful children. I had enough experience to know that it wasn't my fault or anything that was going on in my life at the time, but it was heartbreaking. We were so excited and by the time the third pregnancy came around, I had kept any excitement I should have felt to a bare minimum and had alot of doubts which came to be a crushing reality. If you have ever lost a family member, you know somewhat how it feels, but make the pain 100 times worse. Dreams, hopes, a future, all gone in a blink of an eye. Just recently a friend of mine began to lose her baby (she is 2.5 months) and I told her I was sorry to hear about this and if she ever needed a friend to talk to, I would be there for her. I also told them that in time when they are ready to try again, go ahead, but make sure they are over the loss first.