disciplinarian..your dad or mom?

United States
September 10, 2008 3:29pm CST
In my experience, It was my dad who is more disciplinarian..I am really scared of him before, I was very careful in everything that I am doing..We have to ask permission every time we need to be with friends and most of the time the answer is " NO"! He is very protective! With my mom, I can take a breath..LOL! and talk to her about anything! LOL! but, I have no regrets about it, I learned a lot from Dad and when my sister and I became successful, he started to loosen up and now we are like best friends! LOL! how about in your family? is it very open? or one of your parents is disciplinarian?
13 people like this
58 responses
@dawnald (84075)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Sep 08
It was always "wait until your father gets home" and then came the spanking. Sadly I didn't feel I could talk to either of my parents growing up. As an adult, yes, but not when I was growing up. Sad.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Sep 08
[i]Hi dawn, ohhh...that is sad but at least you were able to handle it perfectly! I know our past will really help us to become a better person since we know what is good for our future kids and what is our limitations also! Thanks for sharing![/i]
@ruby222 (4848)
11 Sep 08
Both of my parents were quite strict ,though I suppose my father was the stricter of the two of them.We had to toe the line,there wasnt any other option lol,and it did us no harm at all.We knew we had to behave and to use our manners,it was second nature to us.Yes of course there were times when we didnt like it,and times when we saw our parents as ogres lol,but that did us no harm either!
• United States
11 Sep 08
[i]Hi ruby, how are you? haven't seen you for awhile! ANyway, thanks for sharing! I know all those rules that they set were for our good future! Without any rules and strictness, for sure life will be different![/i]
1 person likes this
@ruby222 (4848)
11 Sep 08
Hi Che,yes im fine thanks,just been a bit busy at this end..im pleased to hear that allis well with you.
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
11 Sep 08
Hi dear i would say that my family is just like urs. My father is particulat about life but it does not mean he is harsh or hard, We play togather since childhood but were sure afraid tooo but its good i like that Take care
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 08
[i]Hi cupid, Yea..I also appreciate their style now and for sure when I will have kids, I will do the same! thanks for sharing![/i]
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
12 Sep 08
ha ha ha thats better wish u all the best
@gemini_rose (16192)
10 Sep 08
Both of mine were like this with me, they were a pretty strong unit as parents together, very strict and always quick to jump to conclusions. Usually though they were more or less right. Sometimes I could sneak around one of them but then it would cause world war three between them. I have never really been able to talk to either of them much about anything that was important.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 08
[i]Hi gemini, hahahha....you make me laugh when you said world war three! LOL! I know how it feels when 2 were like that, anyway, I know they have great reason for doing so..and if it was too much, I know you will become a better parent for your kids! Thanks for sharing![/i]
@gemini_rose (16192)
18 Sep 08
Thanx for B R XxX
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
26 Sep 08
Growing up, both my parents were the disciplinarians. I got it from both ends of the stick, I guess you can say. My mom would punish us, before my dad got home, then got it when he got home. My parents didn't believe in grounding as a punishment. My dad was harder on my brothers than me and my sister, but mom didn't hold back on none of us. For us to be punished, we had to really screw up bad. My oldest brother screwed up a lot and still does. Now that I'm older, I love my parents more. I talk to my mom all the time, I feel more open to her, now that I'm a mom myself. My dad has become more of a gentle bear, than the grizzly bear when we were younger. It's funny watching him around his grandkids, because they basically walk all over him, but in a fun way. Brings back memories of how he was when I was younger, putting me on his shoulders when he came home from work. Both my parents taught me to work hard and be proud of what I get for my money. Now with my own family, I like to say both myself and my husband are the disciplinarians, but since my husband works a lot and we have 2 girls. I end up giving out the punishments more often. My husband just raises his voice, like the grizzly bear that my dad used to do. So it must be a man thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 08
[i]Hi cher, Ohh...I know what you mean and I am also thankful the way I was raised.. I might have a different life if my Parents were not strict specifically my Dad..I know their ultimate goal is for our goodness! Thanks for sharing your nice story also![/i]
• United States
25 Sep 08
When I lived at home my mom was the disciplinarian. My dad was an over the road truck driver so we didn't get to see him all that much. And when he was home he never got mad at us or corrected us because he felt bad for being gone all the time. My mom corrected us but she was still nice about it. She made us mind though. My mom is like my best friend now and I can tell her anything and she'll listen and tell me her thoughts. I can talk to my dad now but I'm not as close to him as I am to my mom. In our household now I am more of the disciplinarian to our son. My husband just kinda lets him do whatever and I am the one that corrects him most of the time. My hubby will correct him sometimes but it's mostly me that makes him mind.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 08
[i]HI sweet, I can see and relate your story to our neighbor who is a mom of two and husband is always far since he is a road truck! AT least one of you is there to be strict for reasons..LOL! Thanks for sharing![/i]
@skbh12 (2950)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
[b]hi che! both of my parents are disciplinarian especially when it comes to me. with my mother she is very strict with money matters. she doesn't really give me some if i don't have something to buy important with it. she is also very strict with watching tv on a school days during my schooling years. i am only allowed to watch on a thursday and weekends but at the evening of sunday, no more tv again. hahaha! with my father, he may allow me to do anything as long as he knows i am enjoying what i am doing but whenever i do something crazy and a bit unforgivable, he strikes me 3 times with his leather belts into my butt. hahaha!!! and that is how i remember not to repeat things which are bad. haha! but the closest i am more is with my father because he has been very open to me and that he has loved me very much. i couldn't ask for more. happy posting and happy mylotting![/b]
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 08
[i]Hi skbh, wow..that is great! I know they are doing it because of their concern for you! You are lucky! Enjoy![/i]
@vimaal (3365)
• India
19 Sep 08
hi checapricorn, in my family My Dad was always the disciplinarian, and always very controlling. But i love my father very much.take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Sep 08
Same here vimaal, I appreciate also how my Dad raise us and I know if he didn't impose rules before, we might have a different like now!
@comfort55 (1574)
• India
18 Sep 08
My dad was more disciplinarian...we are 4 sisters and one brother....all of us have good qualification which was rare at our time when we were young. Its only because of our dad's strict nature and inclination towards good education,we are what we are today..though at times we did complain our mother about his strict nature but now we realized that it has been a blessing on the whole.
• United States
19 Sep 08
[i]Hi comfort, yea...I agree about that, I am sure every Dad and Mom has a common goal for their kids and that is to raise them to become responsible and successful in life! Congrats![/i]
@jpso138 (7863)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
My father is more of the disciplinarian compared to my mother. But he always disciplined us not by hurting or by any physical harm but on talking. I really admired him for that. Most of the times, the words and lessons spoken by my father stays until now and have guided me on life.
• United States
19 Sep 08
[i]Hi jpso, Correct..That is also my Dad's style and it works great! It helps us to become more responsible person once valuing is present in the family![/i]
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
18 Sep 08
It was mostly my dad who raised me and my siblings. So I think he is the disciplinarian between the two but he wasn't as strict as his brothers were to my cousins. There really were no rules but just as long as he tells us to not do this or that or go somewhere for a specific reason, then everything's okay if we obey him. I wasn't scared of him growing up but I knew when to stop being "naughty" in order to not make him angry. I see my mom once or twice a year so she pretty much let us do whatever we want and gave us whatever we wanted but if we cross the line, then she tells us no.
• United States
18 Sep 08
[i]Hi Saint, that is great...I know Parents have different strategy in raising their kids and it's always wonderful for them to have a great result! I know you will be a great parent too![/i]
@chrislotz (8200)
• Canada
18 Sep 08
There is discipline and then there is abuse. I lived through the abuse part. So I got all of my discipline(abuse) from my father and never from my mother. My mother was the kind one and it would always get her in trouble with him because she would try to stick up for us kids. So when I grew up and had children of my own I made sure that I was the disciplarian but not abusivily but lovingly. My kids are now grown adults and they are very responsible and considerate adults. I hope I have taught them what discipline means and I hope they in turn teach their children, when they have some.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Sep 08
[i]Hi chris, I know friends who experienced the same with their parents and turn out to be the best parent of their kids! They were able to identify things which is good to follow and implement base of their experience! So, i know you made the best for your kids![/i]
• India
12 Sep 08
Mmmmm ... actually nobody was a disciplinarian in my house. Maybe that's why I am a good for nothing now? Honestly, when I was a kid, I was such a good girl that there was no need to discipline me at all. I was pathetically disciplined. Maybe that's why nobody bothered to discipline anybody in my childhood home. Cheers and happy mylotting
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Sep 08
[i]Hi positive, Wow..that's cool!I know there are really parents who are open like my aunt and uncle and I always envy my cousins for having the freedom but not all of them turn out to be a successful in their career, but, I know they are happy also! So, different style and happiness! Thanks for sharing, I am sure you will be a great parent also![/i]
@MOMMASAM (1004)
• United States
11 Sep 08
my father was a very strict disciplinarian. he was a city policeman for 38 years. i think he's seen just about all of the most ugly things in life. so, he was very strict. i'm an only child and a female, too. he was 6'5" with dark eyes and a deep voice. when i was growing up, he only needed to call me one time for dinner. this was back in the safe days when you could be out riding your bike or playing with friends down the block. everyone in the neighborhood could hear him ! and would often come to find me, too. but, i was closer with my father than my mother. my father and i were more alike. i only got the discipline i needed when i broke one of the rules.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Sep 08
[i]Hi MOMMASAM, ohhh..I can imagine his job plus you being the only child, enough reason for him to be protective, LOL! ANyway, I know also that my Father was scared about bad things happening to other young kids and it might also happen to us if he will not set some rules..LOL! I am glad with my experienced also and learn a lot from both of my Parents![/i]
• United States
11 Sep 08
My dad was the heavy and my mom, well, she did what she did. I'm the one who says "No" a lot but I give them the reason why. Everybody likes to learn but nobody likes to be taught. I guess the dad is always the one who has to lay the hammer down, moms are supposed to be sweet and caring and giving. Sometimes I hate my role but I don't want to raise spoiled little brats who don't have any respect, its a double edge sword.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Sep 08
[i]Hi git, I agree with you! It's always wonderful to have kids who have the manner and right attitude, no one loves to raise them in a wrong way, so setting rules is necessary and being very consistent! Thanks for sharing![/i]
• United States
11 Sep 08
Well when i was younger it was my dad, we are all scared of my dad because when he gets angry he yells really loud and scares the sht out of me. Now that im grown up, everything has calmed down all of sudden so everything is good now and i can do whatever the hell i want to!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 08
hahaha....that is good platinum, I am sure it was really scary! My Dad is not that, we are scared of him that is why my sister and i are very careful not to pissed him off! LOL!
• United States
11 Sep 08
It was definatly my step dad, My mom ended up leaving him because of all the drama. It was insain I try to keep my kids out of situations like that. Children do need a little shelter from life its not good to have to be scared of someone all the time.
• United States
23 Sep 08
Hi lucky, ohh..I agree with you, they have to know their limitations when it comes to this issue!
• India
11 Sep 08
wll in my case too it was my dad .he even now tells me wht to do and wht not to do.he is like general for me and i m just a soldier who has to follow the orders given by general at all cost.most of the cases would be like that where moms are rest relievers and dads are the toughs.i guess thats how god made dads to be like.
• United States
11 Sep 08
you are funny jhony, I love the description, we are soldiers and they are general! hahahha..great one!
• Philippines
11 Sep 08
Hi there checapricorn! It has always been dad who is more of a disciplinarian. I can't blame him. I am the only child (until we adopted one of my cousins to be my sister). He has been very protective of me. In fact, he is still very protective of me. But not as much as he's been years back. I am really very thankful that dad is the way he is.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Sep 08
[i]Hi dolce, ohhh....I understand that and being the only child..hmm..I know they want all the best for you and I am sure they are happy with what you have attained now! [/i]
@shana123 (2096)
• India
11 Sep 08
I cant tell they are really strict or lenient because i just cant judge how they are , you what they wont leave me out even if i ask permission they say NO ( both my mom and dad are like that )and my friends will have a bad time because they have to beg for permission when ever they need me to join outing with them , sometimes they do so much but they are good friends at times , but anyways they are my parents.. they are 90% strict 10 % friendly natured :) i dont think my dad will get loosen even if i start earning...
• United States
11 Sep 08
[i]Hi shana, hahaha..I can relate with you, when I was in High School a friend of mine asked my dad to bring me in a disco and no matter how they tried to talked to him, he was very firmed with his NO! I cried that night but he has no idea..ANyway, those were the days! I know your dad will loosen up in the right time![/i]