Hate someone so much and the feeling eat you inside out...

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Since I was a kid, my mom told me to be good to people and I do exactly like what she said. Sometimes, when I was being good to people, they back stab me, and when I said to my mom that I hate them, my mom just say that I have to let it go. She told me not to hate people because it would be bad for me. I didn't know what she means but I listened to her and did like what she told me to. When I grew older, now, I live apart from my parents, from my mom. And I encountered the same problem like what I had when I was younger. I tried to be good to people but people do really bad things to me. I hate them. I told my mom about that and just like what she used to say, she said to me to not hate anyone. But this time, I didn't listen to her. I kept the grudge and hate people. I changed. Since I kept this anger a year ago, the hatred, the feeling grows bigger and bigger and it changed my attitude too. I used to be a forgiving person, I no longer am. I used to be kind, I became cruel. I started to think about things to hurt people, especially those whom I detested. I lost my patience, I got bad tempered. I lost my old self. I became someone else. I kept thinking of revenge and ways to hurt them. But even when I succeeded, I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy at all. It just makes me hate them more because they made me not happy. I didn't realize that it was myself that make me unhappy about this life. I started to realize what my mother said. Keep the grudge and anger, and hate people would hurt myself even more when I take revenge from people who hurt me back then. I believe it is not too late for me to cleanse up my heart and my mind. This wound would never gone, and I would never able to erase the memory of this feeling. But at least I still have time to make peace with myself. At least I would make myself better with forgiving people and myself for my unhappiness. I should start to stop this before the hatred eat me inside out... LOL. that was a long story isn't it? Yes it is a true story, it happened to me :) You can comment anything or if you want to you can share the similar thing. Happy myLotting and have a nice day