its personal!!! dont you get it?!?!?!

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ok, so my sister and i are rather close, but there are really, just some things that i cannot tell her. i mean it is not that i do not trust her or something, but it is just that i dont know how to express my thoughts and feelings about it. its like when something horrible happrned in my life, and i dont want to talk about it anymore, but it is still having an effect in my life, which is why i have stopped beleiving in christ or anything.. but the thing is, the way how she "dared" me to tell her was just so....well, hurtful. and the worst part is, when i asked if she can do anything, she was just like no, i just want to know... thanks sister, so what you want me to do was to just fall apart over and over again and just do nothing about it? maybe it is because i am close to her thats why i cannot bear to tell her what happened in church a long time ago.