help i have a friend who's tottally overwhelming!

United States
September 13, 2008 7:39pm CST
i have a friend she calls me all the time everyday sometimes three times a day she text's me all the time, she emails me and just shows up at my house! i've asked her to stop calling so much or txting me so much or at least call before she comes over and she still does it.. i have a family and my husband is getting really pissed... anyone have any ideas of what i can do to make her stop????
3 people like this
10 responses
• India
14 Sep 08
This kind of friends really annoy us a lot and we cannot have peace with them. What you do is when you know that it is she who has called you cut the phone. if she texts you immediately delete the msg and convey the same to her that you are going to delete her msgs by just seeing her msg with her name on your mobile and if she comes to your house frequently and if you really serious about stopping her from doing this, donot at all respond to whatever she is speaking, just ignore her, or then and there prepare yourself and go out, which tells her that you have some work and she must not disturb you, if possible try to go with your husband. Try asking her what she exactly wants, it is really friendship or something else that she is expecting from you.
1 person likes this
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Well, if she's your friend, maybe you are just a very good friend! You need to be consistent and tell her that as much as you enjoy her company, you are too busy to chat with her all day long. Be gentle, but firm in your decision. She is probably not taking you very seriously.
1 person likes this
@Sarah1108 (310)
• United States
14 Sep 08
I am in the same boat as you! I have a friend that comes to my house almost every night of the week. its almost like she lives her she does not knock when she comes in the door. she brings her dinner with her to my house. she acts like it is her house. some times i get sick of seeing her all the time. i dont have a cellphone anymore so she cant really call and text me all the time thank god!. My boyfriend really does not like her because she is at the house all the time. he thinks she is bothering me too much which i have to say he is right. i know she would not be able to handle me telling her i dont want her coming over all the time. she would maybe even think my boyfriend is making me do it which is far from the truth. So when you figure out how you are going to deal with it can you let me know? :)
• United States
14 Sep 08
seriously i'm going through the same thing!!!!! i will totally let you know!
• United States
14 Sep 08
lol sarah are you talking about elmo?? i'm just kidding. since i know you and we're pretty close i would say that you need to talk to your friend because eventually you're going to get so annoyed with her and you'll blow up and then it will be harder to get over. you can't take back words.
• Philippines
14 Sep 08
i have a suggestion, but it think you might not like it though. :) give her a taste of her own medicine. if you already tried to tell her and she doesnt stop, well then, its time for pay back my friend.
• United States
14 Sep 08
That's kind of a tricky one though because it could work OR she might enjoy the company lol. Also, I'm sure the original poster might not have the time to do this because she has to take care of her family. It would be nice if it actually worked though and her friend got to see how frustrating it is and that she needs time for herself.
• United States
14 Sep 08
I never read other's post until I have an opionion of my own...I post then read. There was a similar situation in my life that can identify with. You don't need to sit her down and discuss this further. How many times do you have to 'explain' your privacy? I wouldn't answer calls, text messages or answer the door. You've explained once-if not more and if she doesn't understand then maybe she's not real bright. You are to be congratulated for being up front and honest with her. Now is the time for action. You'll be fine. Stick to your boundaries. You'll feel proud that you stuck up for you. If she doesn't get it after that..you may have to get rude. Some people just aren't INTELLIGENT enough to understand..maybe you're dealing with a narcissist. If this is the case..rudeness may be your only choice. That was my last option. It worked and I didn't see her again. MD You'll know agood friendship when you see it. RESPECT is the only way to have a friendship. Annything less is unacceptable. Good luck to you.
@dawnald (84075)
• Shingle Springs, California
14 Sep 08
As Dear Abby used to say, a person cannot take advantage of you without your permission. When she calls and you are busy, simply say "sorry I am busy right now". Ignore the texts if you are busy. If she shows up at your house at a bad time, simply do the same thing. Say "sorry we are busy right now, please call next time." And show her the door. Eventually she will get the message if you are firm and consistent.
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
14 Sep 08
Oh geez.. That is why I don't get too much attached to my friends... Well, if you're a real friend then you should tell her the truth. Try to explain to her that you have other priorities in life and she can't always be with you. Tell her that there's a right a time for friends to mingle with each other and that shouldn't be everyday. A real friend is someone who listens to the songs of your heart and tells you when your singing out of tune. Tell your friend that she going out of tune. Ciao!
@Hope32 (119)
• United States
14 Sep 08
Just tell her the truth..let her know that she is annoying you if she is truly your friend she will stop. Hope it works out!
14 Sep 08
hi Caudill!! All you have to do is be honest with her. No need for you to pretend that you like what she's doing. Just go straight and tell her....Good luck!!!
@shanemre (357)
• Saudi Arabia
14 Sep 08
You are lucky you have a friend who is giving you this much of an attention. Indeed, things must have its boundaries. But since she is your friend, I am sure that if you talk with her and you tell her the reasons and the problems you have been encountering because of this behavior, then sure that she will understand. You don't have to tell her to stop the things she is doing, just tell her the limits, especially now that you have your husband. Also, you must consider her situation, you have to see and check why she is behaving this way... maybe she has some problems too that she is not telling you. Maybe her consistent calls and messages are her way of telling you that she needs you badly in this time... talk to her.. ask why, let her talk, and then talk to her about your part. She is your friend, she needs you, don't make her feel that you are pushing he away...