Wedding Gift yes or no?

wedding photo - bride's bouquet carnations alstromerea, roses, baby's breath
United States
September 14, 2008 8:26pm CST
I am not a professional florist, but I worked in a greenhouse and have a talent for floral design. Last year a friend was getting married and I agreed to do her flowers as my gift to them, they paid for the flowers but my time was my gift. The flowers looked great, everyone said so. One of her relatives said that they couldn't be a gift because they paid the $150 for the actual flowers (I bargain shopped for them at grocery stores, Walmart etc and at a florist they would have cost over $500). I amde the Bride's bouquet, her throw away bouquet, matron of honor bouquet, 3 bridesmaids, hair pieces for all plus flower girl, 2 mother's corsages, boutonnieres for 2 fathers groom, best man, 3 ushers; plus table pieces for 3 tables (wedding party table, gift table, cake table. This took me about 8 hours. I think my time should count for something and it's not as easy as some think to make this stuff. Do you think it was a gift or should I have just done it and bought something else as well? I am adding some pics of the flowers so you can see them.
4 people like this
19 responses
@carmela0210 (1591)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
hahaha, its definitely a gift friend...but we cant just know what they would say so let it go by, as long as you did those things for them, thay just dont know how precious time is, it is more precious gift than anything...
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
15 Sep 08
My friend that was a gift and if they don't appreciate it then move on. No one can pay for your time and to do all that and saying it wasn't a gift only makes you soon ungrateful. Anyway it was not from the bride or groom so don't make this relative comment bother you. Sometimes jealousy makes one say things that was not to be said. Looking at the picture here I can say that it is beautiful and maybe persons were commenting on those flowers so she/he wants to be spiteful. Remember blessings does not comes from earth but from heaven. Do the things you can afford because even if you had brought something chances are he/she will not used it and it is placed somewhere in the cellar or back of the cupboard. At least your gift is in very picture and when someone says 'My God what a wonderful flower the bride/groom will say 'You know it is a friend who bargain and did it for us as a Wedding Gift'. Thank God for your talent and don't make anyone disencourages you. Take Care. Kerry
2 people like this
@jillhill (37377)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I think that was plenty...I did the photographs for a wedding last Valentines day and that was my gift. I got them processed at Walmart, an 8x10 then made a memory book also...the rest of the pictures I put on cd and let them order what they wanted and they had to pay for them. I think you time is worth something. I have also done the flowers for three weddings..some paid for the flowers and some didn't. But everyone thought that it was a wonderful gift...they are lucky you did it for them!
2 people like this
@juhi06 (1850)
• India
15 Sep 08
hi dear lorelei622. it is difficult to ask for a price from friends!! and for any service you may pay outsiders and the others will negotiate and bargain whenever you are asking for anything , say even the cost of a glass of water!! and when we are with relatives and friends either the things should be settled in advance otherwise we may feel like losers later!! well lets forget the events and similar situations of the past and learn from them for the future!!
• United States
15 Sep 08
First let me say that those are LOVELY. This is a tricky question, because while they undoubtably got a bargain, a huge bargain, they DID pay for it. You could say the deep discount was their gift, I suppose, but theoretically, I don't think I would be comfortable calling something a gift when the recipient paid for it - even if they paid less than it was worth. There's no question you did them a major favor though, and did it VERY well.
16 Sep 08
The floral arrangements look really good,and im sure they went down very well,now im hoping I have this right here,you bought the flowers,they were all good value,then the happy couple paid you for the flowers,but you arranged them as a gift for them?well if ive picked it up correctly then that was a very lovely gesture,im sure they were really pleased,im sure that they wouldnt have expected to have another gift as well as the floral arrangements.
• United States
15 Sep 08
Well, I think that this could be considered a gift, but it may be nice if you bought them a small gift as well, or sent them a card. Sometimes tangible gifts are nice for memory sake. All in all, I think that this is really between you and the couple. The relative really has no business butting in.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32254)
• United States
15 Sep 08
Well people will always talk. Relatives are always very picky. This relative could have been very spend thrifty and thought that a gift such as that - although beautiful - isn't really a gift since you didn't pay for it. It just goes to show that people no longer appreciate things that are made by hand and are too wrapped up the shiny things that aren't really beautiful. I think the bouquet is simply amazing if you ask me, and I will tell you this if it was my wedding, I would feel blessed to have such a great florists as you doing my flowers. My fiance's mother is helping us with our wedding, and any time she spends with us helping us pick out just the right thing, or working on the decorations with us will be a gift in and of itself. She's already helped us pick out a new engagement ring, she's helped us in all aspects, and I love that she's done and is doing that. Well all in all, before I go off topic, Those are beautiful! When can I book you? lol... just kidding.
1 person likes this
@jonesy123 (3949)
• United States
15 Sep 08
You gave plenty. Although you state the flowers at a florist would have cost about $350 more that would have been just for the flowers. If you special order bouquets etc. especially for a wedding with all the stuff you mentioned, they easily would have had to pay $1000 before all was said and done. Even if they would have been able to negotiate the price down, it still would have been probably around $750. The time you put in is the gift you gave. Not just the 8 hours to create all the pieces but also the time to hunt down the cheapest price etc. That's eight hours plus you could have spent earning money elsewhere. It's not the $$value you spent that make a gift special, it's the thought and effort you put into it. I'm sure the bride and groom appreciate the 'value' of your gift. They even got to save on a major wedding expense. It's the relative who doesn't get it. Never offer to do something even remotely like this for said relative;) It would be interesting to know what the relative gave. It probably didn't measure up or the person is a show off who always proudly declares how much a particular present cost, lol.
1 person likes this
@Hope32 (119)
• United States
15 Sep 08
The flower are very lovely!!! and the time you spend on them was a good gift.
@cher913 (25862)
• Canada
15 Sep 08
sure, why not? who says the wedding present has to be something that they can use at their house? i think what you did was a fine idea. i wouldnt hesitate to do it again either!
1 person likes this
• India
15 Sep 08
yes definitely it is a wedding gift. gift means it was not a article or some big , it was a the other persons reality, rich people can give big amount of gifts but some can give one flower it will also a gift for the bride and groom. according to me a gift will be a flower also a gift, it will look like a bookie but if we give them it will be a gift. we cannot see the amount of the gift, it will be a $1 it will be a gift. gift means we give him with best wishes , our wishes will stay him
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
15 Sep 08
If it was agreed upon between you and the bride that this would be your gift to them, then that's all that matters. Who cares what the relative says. From everything you stated that you made, you saved them more than $500 dollars. I wouldn't worry about what the relative had to say. By the way, the flowers are beautiful, if I ever get married again, I'll give ya a call lol
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
15 Sep 08
i think i will consider that as a gift because you spend your time buying the flowers and arranging them for your friend... as you say, your time must worth something and you spend about 8 hours to do all those things... it is really heartless for your friend's relative to say that it cannot be considered as a gift... i will be very happy and flattered if i were your friend because i had been given a hand made gift... and it worths more sentimental value rather than buying a gift from the store... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@rakittera (802)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
Time is gold, as the old saying goes. So, you gave them some pretty big gift. If I was the bride, I would definitely not expect anything else from you. I was a wedding planner for 2 years and I, for one, should know how important time is in events like weddings. And I agree with one of the posts, if you were able to save the couple hundreds of dollars for doing their flowers instead of them having it made by a professional, then that should surely count for something. Don't feel guilty if you didn't get the couple anything else. Your gift of your talent is more than enough.
@mimico (3618)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
Well her relative is a boor! I think it was really sweet of you to do all the flower arrangements for the wedding. You even bargained for the flowers! I think that is a gift in itself. Some gifts aren't material things all the time anyway. Maybe you can charge a fee next time and then throw in some extra pieces as a "gift." I think that would be a very nice arrangement for you and for the bride.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Sep 08
I think it was a gift, a very nice special gift that made their day special and beautiful. If you and the bride were in agreement, I wouldn't care what anyone else has to say. You can always submit a bill to the relative for the total amount you would have charged, minus the money they paid and then write total owed - 0 - written off as a wedding gift. It is obvious they don't know what something like this would have cost. The bride's flowers alone could have been more than what they paid. What about a hairdresser that offers to do hair for free? Is it a gift? What about a photographer that gives their service for free but charges for the prints? What about the pastor who officiates for free but expects a tip? In my opinion, if you help make the day possible in anyway, that is a gift. It doesn't have to be wrapped with a bow and it will be more appreciated in the years to come.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164214)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Sep 08
lorelei they should be so proud and happy to have your wedding gifts as those bouquets are really lovely and you furnished all the flowers for the whole wedding, Your time should have been'well worth it to them. how ungrateful that one relative was and I do wish she had kept her big mouth shut.lol no you didnt need to bring anymore gifts.all that you did was a wonderful' gift and they should appreciate it.
@mikinikih (201)
• United States
15 Sep 08
I think saving someone over $300 is definitely a gift--no other presents needed. We paid $750 for our flowers, so to only have to cover the cost of the flowers would've been great. If the time wasn't a gift, then they could've done it themselves (though they probably wouldn't have looked as nice). My friend's husband is a concert pianist, so their gift to us was that he played the music for our ceremony. I think that not having to spend $200-300 for a professional musician is much better than an extra place setting or set of sheets any day! It left more money in our account to pay for things we truly needed (like honeymoon expenses). Without a doubt, you gave them a great gift.