Have you resented losing friends because you had been bitter?

@kharen (1488)
Philippines
September 15, 2008 4:27am CST
For 2 years, I suffered through the pain from the truth that my friend has my ex in her life. You know what I mean? I know you know. It wounded so deep that even now maybe there's still some hurt left inside but maybe is now just a little scar left. And because of that I became so bitter and pathetic that only one friend of mine stayed with me. Someone who's just almost the same as me when it comes to emotions and attitude and hobbies. I lost all of them. I stopped schooling because I was too affected that I gave up on my studies and all. I lost someone I love, my friends, my little confidence etc. I'm so lost that I couldn't concentrate. No one was there for me. I was all alone. No one understood me and told me how to live with what I've gone through. I resent that I've lost a number of people who I can count on at times. Have you resented losing friends because of some reasons?
5 people like this
10 responses
• Malaysia
15 Sep 08
Hey there kharen, I guess when you decided to throw everything away from your life just because your friend is in a relationship with your ex, it is a very silly decision. But then again, any decision must have a consequence and you certainly must expect if not be prepared for it. I have done it and I don't resent it because I have prepared and expected the consequences.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
i know and you were right. But I didn't decide that they'd really be out of my life. I needed space from them because when I see them, I hurt more. But i didn't wish that they'd disappear and ignore and forget that we had been friends.
• Malaysia
15 Sep 08
yes. I did it too but you have to tell them, 'gimme space'. I lost some of them but I don't regret it becoz I think if they are friends then they should understand our needs.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
yup,but sometimes for us to realize that we're wrong they give us the hint when they're giving a whole lot of space that you need building up a mile of a gap and then losing them.
• India
16 Sep 08
First of all,u hv not mention yr present living area,where u live,second u hv not mentioned abt yr family members & third u shd provide me some weakness in yr self.sothat i can judge yr problem.Anyway,Its bad time for u till another 2yrs.After 2yrs u will be most favourable person for everyone towhom u loved & will love.Don't loose yrself.be pationce. i m giving u my email id ...pokaleanil123@rediffmail.com u will succeed in nearfututure anil
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Why friend? Are you some kind of a psychic? LOL Thanks for your time.
• India
17 Sep 08
Kharen, I don't know abt psychic.will u give me the details of such nonsence word.
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
Resentment seems to be a very strong word to use. I've always been the "angry-in-the-moment" type of person, I don't really keep hatred and bitterness within me for I know I'll be at the losing end if I do so. I understand you though. It isn't easy to deal with something you've dealt with. Betrayal is not something we relish, we abhor it when people deceive us and betray our trusts. yup, it would cause your confidence to slide downhill faster than a speeding bullet. It isn't good however to despise and push away everybody because of the mistakes created by two or three people. Two years ago, I may have the same sentiments with you. I've been hurt and been so spiteful to everybody in the end I suffered the most because everybody left me. Living a solitary life is never fun. I had been alone and lonely for years now and though it made me a more independent and stronger person, it still hurts to contemplate that I've lost people who matters most in this life. In the end, all my so-called "achievements" if ever I do achieve them will be nothing since I'll have no one to share my triumph and happiness with. Still, there's enough time for us to change this. We can always try to reach out once more. We may not do it quickly, for in haste there's haste, we'll do it slowly but surely... Let's take one day at a time, and maybe, just maybe, the people we thought we lost were just waiting around the corner for us to let them enter our lives again... May God bless you always.. Be happy!
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
What a great response. Thanks. I'm hoping that yup, maybe they're just waiting around the corner. I'm trying to reach out to them again. I hope we can bring up what we've lost but I don't expect on it too much. However, being friends with them and being in contact again, it's better than having them too far away from me.
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
Yes, keep that positive outlook, it can really help... Ey! Thanks for the BR!
@kosykosy (160)
• Ghana
15 Sep 08
Yeah, I lost a few friends because I was bitter. What I've realised is that not too many people can bear someone who always has a black cloud hanging over their heads. These days I try not to hang on to hurts because I realise I end up injuring myself. Its like internal bleeding - unnoticed, but ends up killing you. It hurts, yes, but let go, and you will free yourself. Matt 18:21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother when his sins against me? Seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven!" We should do likewise.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
It wasn't their fault that they left me and our friendship began to have a very big gap. It was me that was the problem. It took me a very long time to accept and understand the things that happened. But now, I'm okay with it. I texted them and they told me they still accept me as friend. I thought maybe not that close anymore but at least we have communication again. I hope we can build it up again and patch all of the gaps for us to make a better foundation of our friendship.
@kosykosy (160)
• Ghana
17 Sep 08
Thank God you're on the path to full recovery. What else do we have in this world but people to care n share? Friends?
@magojordan (3254)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Well it happened to me but not in the same way as yours. I almost lost a friend because I really felt bitter about her. Good thing though our friendship remained but too bad it can't be like the friendship we had before.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Well, sad to say. Maybe that's what I'll be getting too that I'm trying to reach out to them. We can still be friends bu not the way we used to. Well, even though it will be like that. I still have some friends I can count on, If they won't count me as their close friend again, then I won't too. I'll just be happy with the ones I have back then until now.
@cyaoping (141)
• Malaysia
16 Sep 08
Yes, i am since they look down on me and talking shi't i already cut down with them.I found the problem is i can't stay with their living style anymore. Its a bad sign now i could say i have less then 5 friend. Lonely is one of them. Maybe we can make friend?
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
well, maybe yours was a different story. It was them who became you're problem. And in mine, I was the real problem. Thanks for sharing.
@KrauseHome (36752)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Well, I have lost a couple of close friends due to this. One of them I still work with, and her and I used to get together at least 2-3 times a month and do things. It does hurt when you wish you still could get together and do things from time to time, and spend time with their kids, but yet, at the same time I know I am probably better off. Just wish sometimes I could take back maybe the way I acted as well so some people would not look so Bad at me as well.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Missing a friend so close yet so far is a real struggle to me. I needed time and space that's why stopped schooling this year. That's hard if you're working together in the same office. She's so close to you in physical yet so far.
• Philippines
16 Sep 08
It almost happened to me. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I became so bitter, that I do not socialize anymore. I don't talk to people, I just stay in my room and cry. I don't text back my friends, I don't mingle because smiling for me that time is so hard. Then one day, I realized that my friends are slowly moving away from me. I don't know their gigs anymore. I don't know what are they doing during weekends (me and my friends usually go out to unwind). My world and their worlds became ver distant that I don't even know what's happening to their lives. When I realized this, I reached out to them. I realized that I have already lost a boyfriend... I don't want to lose my friends. My friends have nothing to do with the break-up, they should not be affected of my bitter experience. After realizing this, I promised to myself that no matter how bitter my life will become, I will never let it go through me and affect my relationship with my friends.
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
Thanks for sharing. That's almost the exact thing that happened. But it was too late for me before I realized I've already lost them. They found new friends but I'm happy for them. I still have some friends but I hope we all can still hang out like we used to and be closed like what we were before I began to be so bitter and pathetic. Now I'm trying to have communication to them again. And they told me we can still be friends but maybe we can't have that closeness we had before everything happened.
@underdogtoo (9591)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
It is normal to be out of kilt sometime. No one is perfect. But, you need to get yourself together and function like a normal human being. If there is something wrong with your world you should try looking at yourself first and make changes where you can. Cheers!!
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
You're right, maybe next time I will. But I hope there won't be a next time. LOL It took me a really long time to realize thing. I was so innocent and ignorant of it that I didn't know how to handle it. LOL
@chengbeb (285)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
I've had my share of losing friends and it has never been a good experience. Like you I also lost a friend because of my ex but it wasn't me who drifted away it was my friend she thought that I was still her rival even though my ex chose her over me. I even lost friends because of money and money is never a good topic when it comes to friendship. It totally destroys you. I can't bring back the past but I know in the future I can prevent this from happening again. Kharen please remember you may have lost a special someone in your life but it doesn't mean that you should be bitter. You may have lost a friend but always remember new ones will come your way. I can be your friend if you want to and I'll always be here for you even if we maybe miles apart.
1 person likes this
@kharen (1488)
• Philippines
15 Sep 08
yup,but missing them is one thing i'm feeling right now.