The REAL connection between Beyonce and Rihanna

beyonce and rupaul - A family connection?
United States
November 6, 2006 1:57am CST
Is Rihanna after Jay-Z? Or is there a deeper connection between the two women...? A long time ago, in a land far, far away (somewhere in the Southern U.S.), a couple decided they wanted to have a child. Not just any child, but the prettiest chocolate child the world had ever seen (or close enough--whatever they could get for their money). They had heard tales throughout the land of a magical place where one could genetically engineer a baby so it would have the exact traits they wanted. Why didn't they have their own child? Well, PapaMattthew wanted a child with super strength in her legs so she could run up and down a stage for hours at a time without losing her stamina. And MamaTina wanted a child with long flowing hair (you know, before she cut it off and wore a weave) and a little more booty than what she'd been born with. But secretly, she still wanted the child to look a little like her. More on that later. They both wanted a baby with stage presence and a good singing voice. (Like most parents wish for kids who are, you know, healthy.) So they gathered their money and went down to the special clinic where they could engineer their perfect child. But where would they get the perfect genes? Through a great deal of persuasion on PapaMatthew's part, two donors were selected. Relatively unknown at the time, both gave genetic samples and were paid handsomely to keep quiet about the scandalous experiment. After a few weeks in a hyperspeed incubating chamber, the doctor presented them with a toddler by the name of Tyra. MamaTina was excited, but PapaMatthew insisted the child be returned. She could walk well in those 4-inch-heels, but the child couldn't run sprints and do a tumbling run across the stage in them. He wanted perfection! Back to the drawing board for the doctor. At this point, MamaTina got sick of PapaMatthew's interference. She secretly called a friend of hers and paid the doctor twice his usual fee to exclude PapaMatthew's DNA from the second experiment and add in more of her own genes and those of her friend and little Tyra. Who was this second male donor? Why, none other than RuPaul. Don't look surprised. When the girlchild came out of incubation, PapaMatthew pronounced Beyonce exactly what he had wanted and ordered the child's DNA extracted for use at another time. How did this all work out? MamaTina was so grateful to RuPaul for helping her get Beyonce, she paid tribute to Ru the best way she could without making it obvious to the world (and PapaMatthew). (see attached photo) Strangely enough, while he was busy training Beyonce and the other mini-divas of Destiny's Child, PapaMatthew forgot all about that sample of DNA he'd had extracted from baby Beyonce. But MamaTina did not. She went back to that island and had the baby incubated, figuring if she ever left PapaMatthew, she needed her own little bundle of joy that she wouldn't have to share with him. Unfortunately, due to an incident at Customs, she was unable to leave the country with the child. Baby Rihanna ended up being raised by another family in the country of her incubation. So here's how the strange gene pool worked out. Even though they tried, the doctor didn't give Beyonce RuPaul's cheekbones. Those came from MamaTina. He did, however, succeed in giving Rihanna a strong resemblance to Beyonce and her "auntie" Tyra. Now the question is: did MamaTina possibly save any of that genetic material to help shape her future grandchildren? Only time will tell.
2 responses
• United States
8 Nov 06
lots of info, but I do not care at all about the story!
• United States
8 Nov 06
I take it you're not a Beyonce fan.
• United States
8 Nov 06
I take it you're not a Beyonce fan.
@the_vicar (1477)
• United States
6 Nov 06
Interesting story! The fact is there is ALOT of talent in those two...no matter how they got it!
• United States
6 Nov 06
I wonder if the truth will ever hit the mainstream press.