Tough Weekend

United States
September 16, 2008 8:06am CST
I got a call Friday night, my best friend of 33 yrs, who was is 600 miles from home visiting her son and new Grandson, was rushed to the hospital delirious and almost unconscious. She is waiting for a kidney transplant and just wanted to visit with her new Grandson, just in case it was the last opportunity to do so. It's now Tuesday and the only thing I know is they think she caught a virus and they've narrowed it down to 3 possibilities but are still waiting for test results to figure out which one it is. Because of her kidney condition her body is not able to fight the virus very well and it's poisoning her body and brain. She was completely delirious until yesterday. She had a dialysis session and afterwards her mind started to clear a bit. I got to talk to her on the phone yesterday afternoon and she is still confused and having hallucinations every once in a while but she understood what I said to her. She knows she's in the hospital and very sick and extremely terrified of course. I feel totally helpless. I don't have the money to fly or drive out there to be with her and it's making me crazy. I keep calling the hospital and all they will tell me is "We don't know anything yet". Her son is my nephew and poor kid is just a basketcase, exhausted and there's nothing I can do for him except talk to him on the phone and try to calm his fears and give him as much support as I can. But he's the one who found her when he got home from work Friday. He's only 23 and has never had to deal with anything like this before so it has traumatized him. There just isn't a worse feeling in the world than feeling powerless and helpless. What do you do when you feel this way?
2 people like this
15 responses
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Awwwww so sorry to hear this my energies and prayers go out to her! and family. RIght now am sort of in the same way my son might have to have his spine fused and his wife found a lump in her breat. and they are going to do an ultra sound as it moves around they dont think it is cancerous! but I feel like I should be there to visit for awhile and help all I can! But no extra money to fly out there. and to still dont know any results as of yet so maybe if I really need to go the money will come from somewheres for me to go! hugs and bleesings
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
16 Sep 08
need to call in awhile to see how ultra sound went to dasy . I just hopeits a cist and they can just dran it. as for Son dont know yet and wont know for a few weeks what they are going to do. Yes! positive thinking and energies goin your way and theirs hugs and blessings
• United States
16 Sep 08
Hello my friend, I hope the same as you, if it becomes a necessity the money will come from somewhere. I'm hoping that with time she will come out of this and that won't be necessary. I still wish I could be there. I hope your son and daughter-in-law will be ok. It's so scary when loved ones have health problems. Hugs and positive thoughts to you my friend!
1 person likes this
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
16 Sep 08
I am sorry to hear this and I wish her a full and speedy recovery. The best thing you can do is exactly what you are doing and that is to help support your nephew through this. I hope his mom gets well very soon.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 08
Thanks so much howard for the well wishes and kind words. They mean a lot to me and my family. It is much appreciated.
1 person likes this
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
18 Sep 08
All you can do right now is pray. I know it is a helpless feeling when someone you love is in trouble and you cannot be by their side. Even if you had the money to go, you probably couldn't do anything to help the situation. Just don't give up hope on the situation. Miracles happen every day.
• United States
18 Sep 08
Thanks very much loved1. You're right, there isn't a whole lot anyone can do to help her until they find the cause of the problem.
• United States
16 Sep 08
PRAY! remember God is still in control and he can still work miracles I will keep your friend in my prayers also Dorothy
• United States
16 Sep 08
you are most welcome and may God bless you all!
• United States
16 Sep 08
Thanks very much for your thoughts and prayers, I really appreciated it.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Hello Sweets I'm so sorry your friend is ill. I hope they can figure out what it is soon and I also hope she gets her kidney. I lost a sister last year to kidney disease and have 2 others that suffer from it. My prayers are with you, your friend and your nephew. xoxoxooxxoxo
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 08
Hi Raydene. Thanks so much for stopping by and for the prayers. You've been thru so much yourself over the last couple of years it's incredibly generous of you to reach out to me and others with such compassion and understanding. You are a gem my friend. *Hugs*
1 person likes this
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
17 Sep 08
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I know you feel powerless and helpless, but you aren't at all. It sounds like you are doing exactly what you can and should be doing. Giving your nephew support is helping him (and her) a great deal right now! Being there for people in need is everything in cases like this. I will keep all of you in my prayers!
• United States
18 Sep 08
Thanks very much quinn for the prayers, I appreciate that.
@II2aTee (2559)
• United States
16 Sep 08
Crafty, There is really not much I can say or do at this point that would be much help, but I hope it can at least be a comfort for you to know that you and everyone you mentioned above are in my thoughts. I'll be sending good vibes you way. I hope this hard time will pass soon. *huggs* Please keep us updated. XXOXOXO Tee
• United States
17 Sep 08
It really does help just reading your post. And I always appreciate hugs! I talked to her on the phone late yesterday and she's doing a tiny bit better. We're all so frustrated because they can't find the reason for all the hallucinations and mental fuzziness. She can hold a lucid conversation for a few minutes and all of sudden she starts talking crazy, then she's fine again. It's going on 6 days now and we have no more answers now than when she got to the hospital Friday. Thanks so much Tee and *hugs* back at ya!
• United States
21 Sep 08
Being sick have an impact on the whole family. I feel for you. I think you are doing everything that you can. I hope everything comes out o.k. Prayer can't hurt.
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
17 Sep 08
all you can do is pray and leave it up to God. God knows best and HE will help you, her and ur nephew get through it somehow. maybe this experience will bring all 3 of you closer again to help each other get through it.
• United States
17 Sep 08
Thanks very much for your kind words fifi.
• India
17 Sep 08
Such agonies are part of human life. What his son can do He might be doing for her treatment. What you can do for your friend you must do. As you say that it is friendship of 33 years old and I personally feel that you must visit her and pray god for her well being in her face at the hospital and I think she may get encouragement from your prayers and there may be a miracle from the blue and I pray she may become alright and your friendship may become more older and it may be not 33 years and may be 53 years.Make efforts to add 20 more years to your friendship and pray the almighty. While writing this I have also prayed the almighty to grant 25 more years to your friendship. Please comment and have a nice day and good news from your friend.
• United States
17 Sep 08
Thank you sweet. I appreciate your good thoughts. I hope we get another 25 yrs also!
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
18 Sep 08
Wow! That IS a tough weekend and my heart goes out to you and your friend that's in the hospital AND her son. I pray that everything works out for all of you. I really do. When things get like that for me and there's nothing I can do there's only one thing left to do and that is to pray to God to calm my nerves and help my friend in need. God Bless you all. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
• United States
17 Sep 08
I know there are those you would pooh-pooh my advise, but at times like these I believe you should go to God with your needs, and not just your needs but also the needs of your best friend and her son. I pray God will meet all your needs.
@ml4box (336)
• China
17 Sep 08
sorry to hear that.it makes me think of my grandma who passed by last month. there is nothing you can do even if you're rich and powerful. face to the situation, comfort the closer you can. waiting for better tomorrow.
• United States
17 Sep 08
So sorry about your grandma. I could definitely use a better tomorrow.
• China
17 Sep 08
i am sorry to hear that nephew is sick. if we want to win ill diamon, we must be stronger than diamon. i know it is difficult to do it ,but we have to do our best to give patient belief. in china, a old sentence says there isn't a ridge we can't get over and there isn't a river we can't ferry. just believe your nephew will be good day by day. god will bless you and your nephew.
• United States
17 Sep 08
Thanks very much for your kind words Andy. I like that Old Chinese saying.
• Malaysia
17 Sep 08
Its true to tell you that as an elderly person we always try to comfort the younger ones. Although its really sad cause he is too young to face all these in a sudden but you must try to tell him that everybody has their own difficulties, and you must be brave enough to face all this. As an auntie you must tell him that you are always beside him and will always pray to GOD for the recovery of his mother.