Over protective Mom wants to know how to help son with being discouraged
By Virgie60
@Virgie60 (556)
United States
September 16, 2008 9:36am CST
I am an overprotective Mom (I will admit it) partly because my son was diagnosed 4 years ago with a chronic disease. Because of the disease and feeling sick it made it very hard for him with his High School classes. He did graduate in May though with the rest of his class but it was a struggle. Now he is going to tech school. To me it seems like his schedule should be pretty good as he only has to take 3 classes this sememster. But he is already struggling some. I think because of all the time missed in High School (he missed about 80-60 days a year) that he missed alot of fundamentals and that could be making it harder for him. Also he did have an IEP when in High School because of his medical problems and some learning issues. I told him to talk to the disability service lady today and to tell her that he could possibly use tutoring or some kind of help. But he is afraid to do so because he thinks then they will think that he is dumb or lazy (he had teachers that thought that of him in High School). I feel it is important for him to learn how to handle things but is there anything I can do to help just a little. I don't want him so discouraged right away. I mean he has more school left to catch up and get better. Also he really needs to handle the stress or he will get sick so I don't want him to get so uptight about things.
Any suggestions? I know many will say that it is just up to him and to just let it go but we can barely afford for him to go to school so we can't waste money and have him drop out. He needs this education so that he can get a good paying job and not end up like his parents working 5 jobs just to make ends meet.
Thanks.
1 response
@berkee (46)
• Ireland
16 Sep 08
he needs to understand that the teachers do genuinely care, he needs to find one that he feels he can trust and can approach most easily and explain that he is having a few problems, this does not have to be the disabilty lady. This teacher can then approach the appropriate people on behalf of your son, they will respect him for reaching out and seeking help, they will not think he is dumb or lazy, it simply takes some people to absorb information at different rates and in different ways.
Another option is to do a study group with some friends, this should be with people he trusts so that he feels comfortable asking questions and to keep asking untill he understands. It can be a good way to learn as other people will have alternative ways of studying which may work better for your son.
Once he gets help I would say most of the stress will dissolve, if not, he needs to find a positive way to channel this energy, through music etc. a hobby will help.
Do not portray to him that getting a good education is the only way to get a good job and not to end up like you, this will add pressure to him to live up to standards you are setting for him..he needs to set these standards for HIMSELF. Remember, at the end of the day, your his parents and he looks up to you regardless of your struggles.
You clearly love your son and have done a great job to get him this far, you should be proud.
