Do you hate your Stepfather?

In my case, I lost all my trust for my mother. I still do not trust her to this day and very rarely visit her, if ever. That bond had become broken. My own perception, as that child, was that it was I who was now 'in the way'. This of course builds resentment for, and resistance to the 'intruder'. I won't bore you with 'sob-story', but suffice to say I eventually became the intruder myself. After several years, it had become unbearable and I would not even go into the same room as my stepfather. Breaking point came when I was fourteen, and after a row, my mother asked me to leave. So I did. I went to live with my Grandmother - whom I adored and trusted. We can all meat-out the blame for these things, but what's the point? The damage has often been done. Nowadays, I can see that my mother needed someone in her life, and I never had, nor have, any right to try and deny her that. But, whilst my mind can understand and forgive her, my heart doesn't want to know. Regards, GT

Thank you for your kind thoughts Leenie. To use an old line ... I have done more exciting things, met my idols, been inside places that the public can only dream about, than most people could ever hope to do. So, I am extremely fortunate. I also have my good health, money coming in, and a nice roof over my head - so, no matter how down-in-the-dumps I may ever feel, there are countless people who are far worse off than I will ever be - many would be grateful to have the things I throw away. I become humbled by this fact. Yes, it would have been nice to have had a loving home in which to dwell, but that does not stop me, or anyone else, from giving out their kindness and care to others. In fact, I think it makes it all the more genuine and meaningful. Take care my dear, and speak to you soon, GT

Gran, Children have a clearer sense of what is going on than any adult can understand. Your Mother seems to have put her personal needs above the needs of her child. Without having any circumstances to go by, I definately get the sense that there was neglect on your Mother's part and not so nice intentions on your Step Father's part. You seem to have known at this young age that you were suddenly not welcome in your own home. What a horrible thing for any child to have to live through. I am truly sorry that you had to grow up under those circumstances. My Son's Step Mother made it very clear that there was no love in her heart for my Son. It always made me angry but all we could do was assure him that he was loved unconditionally by me and his Step Father and his own Father. I wish that you could have had that. Hugs leenie

Hi Erin, I think you hit the 'nail on the head' there with "When I grew up". As a child, we wouldn't really comprehend the fact that our biological parent, remaining with us, also needs to love and be loved. Regards, GT

Hello Galena, Lovely to hear someone who contributes a happy and positive entry. Sadly, most folk I have met who had a stepfather, have only bad things to say to me - much worse than my experience. I admire your stepfather for his maturity and presence of mind, in order that he might be a joyfull and contributory factor to your whole immediate family. A good guy.