She Slapped My Daughter!
By marlena18042
@marlena18042 (636)
United States
September 18, 2008 8:11am CST
Hi everyone. As you might know I've had some issues with my 14 yr old daughter lately. Well, yeasterday when she got home from school she told me how her day was. As usual this girl was picking on her but today this girl slapped my daughter! I was so mad instantly when I heard this the first thing I asked my daughter was"did you hit her back?".
Now, I'm not quite sure, but I think that could be self-defense?!
But then, I let her finish talking and she told me that she didn't want to get in trouble by the school so she walked off.
Then, she was called down to the office.Apparently there is a camera in the section of the bathrooms and it caught it all!
I was so ehappy to hear this!
At least now they can see who's really starting all this crap!
So, they eventually had both girls in front of the principal,and this other girl was apologizing and saying how she was on probation and she doesn't want to get in any trouble,etc,etc. Well, to make things short, the principal gave my daughter the choice to either accept her apology...or she can press charges.
My daughter told me she just accepted her apology.
I don't know how to feel about this. This issue has been going on awhile and getting worse ans worse.I dont want them girls to think it is okay to hit her now!And that an apology(that my daughter said didn't even seem sincere)is good enough! What do you think about this? Do you think she should take it farther and press charges? Has your child or anyone you know been in a similiar situation? What did you do? I could use some advice. Thanks for reading!
5 people like this
20 responses
@djoyce71 (2511)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
Your daughter has a good heart. You must be proud of her. It was her decision to accept the apology and not press charges. I think, the other girl learned her lesson now and she knew about the camera already, so I guess she'll be careful now.
But if the slapping and the hurting will happen again, then it's time for you to really enter the picture and do something.
I hope everything will fine. Have a nice day!
@marlena18042 (636)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Hi djoyce71! Yes I agree. I am proud of my daughter. And, I am glad that I left the decision up to her this time,and she made a wise one. But, I will make the next decision if it happens again!Thank you for your response.
@jeweledbluerose (3061)
• United States
18 Sep 08
To be forgiving is a good thing I believe, but at the same time your daughter needs to realize that she don't have to keep putting up with abusive people, she can still press charges and forgive the person at a later time. But than again I don't hold much sympathy towards bullies who get caught in the act of being rude, obnoxious, and sometimes overly abusive people. Dealt with nearly the same thing, when I was in school, only I usually got bullied by boys.
In any case, I think your daughter handled the situation well. I hope that she don't have to continue through this at a later time. My thoughts and sympathies are with her.
@marlena18042 (636)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Hi laglen. Part of me feels that way but the other part of me really wants to teach this girl a lesson now! Thanks for your response!
@islandrose (686)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
Wow! you have a brave and intelligent daughter. Yes, her move of accepting an apology is good, though the apology was not sincere, at least it was done in public and the other girl's reputation is now a big question to other kids like them. She must be alert always because we don't know the content of the brain of that girl.
1 person likes this
@3cardmonte (5098)
•
18 Sep 08
It was very matture of your daughter to accept her apology like that. I ws bullied in school and did not defend myself for so long until one day i just snapped, I went mental when this girl hit me, I puched her in the face and grabbed her round the throat, i did not try and strangle her or anything,but afer that she never went near me again. I think if anyone else tries this with her she needs to fight back or press charges
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Because I am not in your situation it is hard to say what I would do. However I think I would possibly file charges because it seems as though the situation has escalated from bullying now to assault. No one should have to endure such behavior against them. Children should be able to go to school without fearing that they will be harassed on a daily basis. I can't even begin to imagine how your daughter is feeling. The other girl obviously has some issues if she is already on probation. If nothing else I would at least make sure a report is made in case further problems occur. Good luck with this whole matter.
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
18 Sep 08
if the girl didnt even seem sincere about the apology then yeah I would go ahead and press charges. By her not pressing charges it is sending a message that it is okay to do whatever they want to your child and it's not. Why not send the message that if you mess with me you will get in trouble for it?? It may make her seem like a tattletale but at the same time the kids should be scared that they will face charges for their actions.
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Well I am not in that situation and it seems it happened a while back. I hope everything went well with the othr girl and your daughter. But this is what I think I would do.
I would let my daughter know that If it ws me (had i been given the choice) I would have pressed charges . But since if was my daughter who made the decision it was hers to make and now she must take the consequenes whatever they may be. But I would tell her that if the girl bothers her again I want to know about it. she can call me from school if need be. Then I would have a talk with the principal.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
30 Oct 08
I'm sorry but I would have pressed charges. The girl knew she was on probation when she hit her and wasn't worried about it so why should your daughter be worried about it. I can't believe that the principal gave her a choice in it...most of the time they just decide what to do about it.
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
19 Sep 08
Well, it is a bit confusing. It is good that the school had cameras and that they now know what is going on. Your daughter's choice of accepting the apology might have two results. The girls who are giving her a tough time might be grateful and soften their attitude. Or they might take more advantage of your daughter's soft nature. As a person who doesn't really have much faith in human nature, I feel your daughter should have pressed charges. I really feel parents should be involved in this matter. The principal should have asked you, not her. Your child is still a minor, isn't she? Anyway, I hope everything turns out fine. Your daughter sure seems to be a fine lady. Give her my warm regards.
Cheers and happy mylotting
@SangsTurks (1444)
• India
18 Sep 08
Wow! your daughter behaved in a much better manner than what elders do! I mean, if i was there i would have taken the girls happiness for her but look at your daughter she took everything in such a nice manner. It is good that she accepted the other girls so called apology, so the next time your daughter complains to the principal about this girl she knows who is at fault and then action can be taken against her. You have a really strong daughter who can face her problems.
1 person likes this
@ronacruz2007 (650)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
I know how you feel I am a mother too. You are very furious about this and i understand that very much because like you no mother would want their children to be treated that way. Like i said before you are so mad right now and out intitial reaction to this is to get even but i tell you this your daughter is right maybe you should just forgive her and just continue. I know you want the girl who slapped your daughter to pay for what she did , maybe she will learned from this mistakes and will not try to do the same. If she does it again to your daughter then maybe that is the time you have to rethink of what to do again. Or if she does this to other girls in time she will pay for this. You should be proud on how you raise your daughter i salute you for that .
1 person likes this
@Carpathian (582)
• United States
30 Oct 08
First, I would like to say you have a smart daughter. Not, slapping her back was very smart. And, second, if your daugher wanted to, could you not change her to another school less troubled? When it comes to fighting in school there is no self defence. Now, a days you can get sued just for just about anything. Second, the principal should have told the girl that if something like this happens again the cops will be called. Also, she should have got suspended for three days to a week for hitting your daughter. And, her parents should have been told. If I was you I would keep a record of all that is going on with dates & times, what happens and have the principal sign the paper each time something happens. That way if it does go to court or worse, then you have proof and a witness. The principal.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
19 Sep 08
I think your daughter did the right thing in accepting this first apology. But, if it happens again, she should press charges. One time almost anything can be forgiven. Twice and it can't be.
I am proud of your daughter for walking away and letting it go.
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
18 Sep 08
If I was your daugther I would have pressed charges. I mean, really if she's having this much trouble in school, those that are picking on her and starting all the trouble are just getting away with it again and again. I think your daugther accepted the apology for several reasons. One because of peer pressue, she knows that by pressing charges this could mean worse trouble than she's getting now. She'd rather just pretend it didn't happen and move on.
Secondly, she's probably just doesn't want to get anyone in trouble period, regardless of what they're doing to her.
I'd really talk to her about the situation and tell her that it IS OK to press charges. That's what the law is for, to punish someone that assaults you and I consider a slap, no matter what type assault. She should have pressed charges and I'd tell her the next time it happens to seriously consider pressing charges.
@jammyt (2818)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
It was a very wise decision for your daughter to walk away.. and good thing there was a camera that caught it all. That meant she showed them that they were not worthy of her time. However, if the girl who slapped your daughter was already on probation (but didn't want to get in to trouble... YEAH RIGHT), that meant there is really something wrong with her attitude, then I wish your daughter did not accept the apology (which she didn't mean). The principal should also see that despite the probation, the girl was still capable of hurting other girls. How sad to hear something like this happen to such young children. I wonder what her parents are saying. 
I just hope your daughter is level headed not to pick a fight or get revenge. That way, the principal can see who the kind one is.
I just hope your daughter is level headed not to pick a fight or get revenge. That way, the principal can see who the kind one is. 
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Sep 08
Marlena I can see how your daughter just didnt want any more'trouble so she accepted the other girls apolgy but I
still think you should talk to the principal and tell herthat you as your daughter's mom do want to press charges and
that as a juvy your wish dominates your childs by far. that girl should not be allowed to keep harrassing your child. We had'a similar instant years back with a sixth grade overgrown bully boy harrassing the second grade boys, we did press charges and that child was actually expelled from the school. we must protect'our own kids, I think.
@pioneer2009angel (135)
• United States
18 Sep 08
I believe your daughter did the right thing, accepting the so not so sincere apology but I think the parents should get involve and work with the slapping girl issues.
@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
18 Sep 08
Well as a mom we really want to protect our kids from anyone who will harm her. But as a daughter it is also hard when you are making a decision wither to pressed charge or not at a very young age. I have been to that situation too before and i decided to just forgive for the sake of avoiding trouble. I mean i feel at that time it wont stop the person from harrassing me but it will give the person more reason to hate me and wont stop doing the same thing. So i guess thats what she felt at that moment. She felt it is enough that she said sorry and just wanna move on and live a normal life. She just fear a lot of things such as what if those friends of that girl will harassed her for pressing charges against there friend.
So there is a valid reason for sure why your daughter decided not to pressed charges. She just want to go to school without being harassed by this mean student. The best thing you can do is check if shes fine and if that girl is not doing anything bad against her. And if this continue you can right away report about it to protect your daughter.
