caught 2 times in a week!!

@Anchopy (1453)
Paraguay
September 19, 2008 4:39pm CST
I don't know how could it happen, I always was very careful with things that I do that I know that my girlfriend wouldn't like very much.. The thing is that last week on Saturday my girlfriend came at home and found me locked in my apartment with my friend's sister.. I told her that I was sweedy because of the hot of the day, and that the girl and I lock the door because we want to "hear our music better".. My girlfriend cried and she said that I was a disappointment, but she did not leave! she stay with me and the other girl until the other left. After only 5 days since that incident my girlfriend found one of my compromising pictures with other girl in my computer.. I don't know how she found it but the chaos started again.. But my girlfriend still is with me.. Have you people ever being through something like this? Have your girlfriend/boyfriend dump you?
9 people like this
36 responses
@emarie (5447)
• United States
19 Sep 08
well i feel for her, i truly do. her trust is a little fizzed, but its still there with you. she's holding out hope for you since there are leeway with both of the things you described. its fishy but its not solid proof. she may keep an extra eye on you because it it. my advice for you would be to grovel and be more aware of her feelings. i'm self conscious about my image and i have low self esteem so where i get jealous and question things. i never had the 'hidden' situation of cheating, but a guy i was seeing flat out told me he slept with his ex and he didn't think it would work out between us. be nice to your girl. it seems she really loves you do try not to do anything to hurt her.
2 people like this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
19 Sep 08
yes you are right.. I must aware better of her feelings.. I'm very sorry that this guy dit that to you and I know in the botton of my heart that I would hate if someone cheat on me, It's a horrible situation. I know that I have to be nice with her, I love her, but I don't want to be with her anymore and I don't want to break her heart by breaking up with her. I don't know what to do..
2 people like this
@emarie (5447)
• United States
20 Sep 08
you WANT to break up with her? why? coming from a female point of view, if you want to do it. Just do it. Don't be afraid and talk to her nicely. You'll have to discuss on depth the reasons why you want to break up so she can know what went wrong. she may be hurt because of it, but it would be better then dragging her on. am i right?
2 people like this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
is the first time that I have true love from a girl and as all you people know, I don't know how to handle it.. I think that I don't have a mature mind to be in a real relationship at this moment.. but I'm also afraid of losing what I have.. it's a real dilemma.
@misskit (289)
• United States
19 Sep 08
You are lucky that your girlfriend is still with you, at least for now. If it had been me, the first time I might have thought about it, but the second time I would have just dumped you. I wouldn't push my luck if I were you, she won't put up with much more. Maybe you should just play the field and not have a steady girlfriend at all at this point in your life.
2 people like this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
19 Sep 08
I don't have lucky.. I just want that she leave me.. I don't want to break with her.. is so hard.. as you said, I just want to play the field, but she thinks that there is nothing more in the world, I don't know how to tell her the truth..
2 people like this
@misskit (289)
• United States
19 Sep 08
Anchopy, please just tell her the truth, be fair to her and be fair to yourself. She will get over it, it will hurt, but she will be ok and so will you. But you need to end the relationship now for both of your sakes, for both of your peace of mind. Don't try to make a bad situation good when you know that no good will ever come of it. Just do the right think, no matter how hard it is, and tell her the truth, you both deserve that much.
2 people like this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
19 Sep 08
I know.. I have to do the right thing.. but I'm afraid of what she could do.. if I dump her.. that's why I thing that it is best that she get angry with me, that way she won't do anything stupid after she dump me..
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12160)
• United States
20 Sep 08
Sounds to me that you need to decide if you want to be with this girl or not. If your thought is YES, then you need to straighten up some. She will eventually catch you doing something that she just can't forgive & then she'll LEAVE!!! Then you will be crying Why did she leave me? So you need to do some serious thinking about what you want. My guess is that if you locked the door to be with another girl & you kept the compromising pic on your computer, you don't care enough for your girlfriend. In that case, she probably should leave so both of you can get on with your lives.
2 people like this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
that's very true.. I must tell her the truth so we can move on with our lives.. thanks for the reply LadyMarissa
@LadyMarissa (12160)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Broken Heart!!! - She gives you everything she has it's not enough, so you go & break her heart!!!
She's not going to like it But, it's the best thing considering. It will only hurt worse later!!!
@Munchkin547 (2778)
19 Sep 08
If i wanted to be with other people i would break up with my boyfriend beforehand, i can honestly say i've always done that!! If you don't want to be with her why don't you tell her the truth and end the relationship, you must be putting her through a lot and lying all the time must take it's toll on you as well!! xxx
1 person likes this
@myklj999 (49253)
• United States
20 Sep 08
Very good advice! Personally I think the guy is a jerk for acting the way he is.
2 people like this
20 Sep 08
Well i don't think this sort of behaviour is the best way to have an adult relationship and even if the relationship is staying together because he doesn't want to break her heart, the truth is always better than a lie in the long run, it might upset her now to know the truth but it'd be a lot better now that six months or a year down the line when she has even deeper feelings!! xxx
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
to myklj999: thanks for the opinion.. to munchkin: I understand your point and is the obvious answer to all this discussion.. but every situation has its peculiarities.. the solutions for others might not be the best solutions for many people..
1 person likes this
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
20 Sep 08
I really feel for your girlfriend right now and I'm thinking why is she with you. How can you do that to her? That's very cold hearted. Anyway I have never heard of someone locking their door because they wanted to hear their music better? What kind of lame @$$ excuse is that. I would be dumping your butt and kicking it to the curb cause I honestly wouldn't beleive you. I would of called you more than a disappointment thats for sure. I think it is time for you to break up with her so you don't hurt her anymore.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
is not an lame @$$ excuse as you said.. you people are so closed minded that don't even knowing nothing about it, say this kind of things.. thanks for dumping me nicholejade, it's very kind of you to doing that.. you know me so much... thanks for the comment
• Canada
22 Sep 08
I have never heard someone using an excuse "we locked the door to hear your music better" Come on now I am sure that you can see my point that it is a lame excuse. If you don't wanna be with this girl tell her. Don't beat around the bush. Grow up and tell her. I'm not being closed minded at all. I have been cheated on and I know what it is like. You are the one that leading her on and having a crappy behaviour about it. So I think you are the one that is being closed minded. If you didn't want negative feedback like you have been getting you should never of made this discussion.
• China
20 Sep 08
if i were very young girl, i will be very angry and dump you, but now, i have long way , and have so many boyfriends, i forgive and understand myself as well as you.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the comment..
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the comment
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
20 Sep 08
why is it lock is the first question i wanted to ask???i mean for sure you can still hear the music even if the door is not locked. what is there a compromising picture with another girl in your computer???good luck to you if she will not dumped you after 1 more mistake.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
my neighbor doesn't like the music I hear.. the picture is with another girl giving me a kiss at the face.. nothing more..
@roanne05 (1290)
• Oman
22 Sep 08
i understand my friend, your neighbor does not like your music...maybe you can lower the tone down a bit to the point the neighbor will not complain, but not to locked the room, for sure you can still hear the music. as per the picture, why keep it? past is past and should be erased or destroyed, specially those kind of pictures. i have nothing against you my friend, what i am saying is maybe the things that are running in your girlfriends mind.
@austere (2814)
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
so you dont love her anymore? and that you and that girl are really starting to fall for each other..? guess if that is the case, it is but best to tell her how you feel. it will only hurt her more if you keep on letting her believe that you still love her when you know deep down inside you that you are still there, sticking it out with her because you cant say the words "goodbye". if you will break it up with her, it will hurt her of course, but think..if you will not break it with her now, she will suffer the pain longer, make her suffering short and quick..
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
I do love my gf.. and It was a stüpid thing to do that.. I don't know why I'm doing this.. but I'm reflecting as I'm answering all the replies in this discussion.. thanks for the reply..
@austere (2814)
• Philippines
23 Sep 08
the decision is really with you. who is important to you, and you have to let the other person go when you have decided who to choose.. you should be fair..if you cant make a person happy, then let her go.. somebody else is willing to love her and make her happy more than you can..
@flance101 (137)
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
ok, i'll be straight and honest. i understand that you dont want to break her heart, that you dont have enough courage to break it to her, her being so nice. but maybe you are being selfish here. did you even consider her feelings? you want her to just leave you, but as you know she doesnt seem to be thinking about it. just tell her, it'll be much harder for her if you let this situation get unsolved much longer. you are hurting her now, be a man and hurt her just once more. tell her the truth. not only to lessen the damage and pain, but also to set yourself free.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the good advice.. you are right.. I'm being selfish.. after reading all the advices I'm realize that she wouldn't leave me.. I'm a terrible person for doing this to her.. I must do what you are telling me to do, but It's not easy to break a heart.. is not easy..
• Philippines
22 Sep 08
yeah, though i have never been in your situation, i somehow know the pain of being told of the truth. but believe me, even if she gets mad at first, it'll be much better if you try telling her the truth sooner. because even if she's that nice, it'll be too hard for her and for you too if you dont do it soon. its good that you realize how bad the situation is. i know it pains you knowing that she'll be hurt. but dont let her suffer more, you'll be in a deeper pinch then. this situation is something that only you can solve. you know that. and the longer you're trying to restrain yourself, the more you are causing pain to the both of you. i know its so hard for you. but if its for the better, you have to do it.
@illfavors (592)
• United States
20 Sep 08
I think it is better to be honest with her if you don't want to be with her anymore. It may be hard to break up with her, but cheating on her, and allowing her to catch you doing it will only hurt her more. I am surprised that she didn't leave you if she caught you cheating, but it appears that if you are trying to get rid of her, that isn't going to work. Honesty is the best policy and it will save you and her precious time, and heartache.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the advice..
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
20 Sep 08
the question you have to ask yourself why was you locked in your apartment with this other girl what was your intention it don,t look right are you serious about your girl friend it seems you are playing around on her.for her to catch you twice in a compromising way it sounds like your girl may rethink you and her relationship it seems you have a trust issue going on here.if a woman thinks she cannot trust you she will move on because she will think the relationship is not worth saving.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the advice..
@marababe (2510)
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
That happened to me before, my the-boyfriend wasn't really really careful knowing that we are in the same campus and all of my friends know him. We were texting each other and just as I was about to send him my message telling him to meet me in the cafeteria, my friend started calling my name from the other end of the cafeteria signaling me to look at the window and lo and behold, he was there with his now-girlfriend holding hands. I still sent him the message though and he said he's still in class. A**hole. A couple of days before that, he left me in the hotel to go back to school cos his friend needed his help with something and when I got home, I saw photos of him and that girl and the girl was drunk. I didn't talk to him for days and now I regret getting back together with him after those incidents. I should've really left him cos now, he's with that girl. Maybe you should try being honest with your girlfriend. I'm not in the position to judge you or your relationship but just because your girlfriend's still with you doesn't mean she's not hurting.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the advice marababe, I'm really thinking to tell her the truth but I'm afraid of her actions after that.. I'll think what to do.
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
Wow don't tell me nothing happened when she took her upper clothes due to the heat of the room. What do you think us for? Any true blooded guy wouldn't think twice to take the forbidden bite in that situation. And even more so she is comfortable enough to go to a locked room with you! Plus the pictures! My goodness..
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
you right.. thanks for the reply..
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
Is your girlfriend a jealous type? Well, honestly if I will caught my bf with a girl insider his apartment, and found the door locked, I will think of something else too, but that does not mean I will not listen to your explanation. First, is it too noisy outside that you have to lock the door and so that you can listen to the music better?, second, how close that girl is to you, does not she like you and wants to be close to you so she grabbed the chance the two of you could go solo?, or do you have malice when you do that or don't? If you have no other intention then you do not have to feel that bad, just explain your side to your girl, and if she still feels bad about it, just let her be, she will understand you soon. Why did you have a pic of a girl in your computer? or are your positions in the pic showed that you are too sweet with the girl? is the girl your friend only or you like her too? your girl is still with you because she loves you. Yeah my guy dumped me before because he found out that i am talking to a guy, he was so jealous haha..
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
she is a very jealous girl.. she don't want to chat in msn, in my cellphone, neither at orkut.. I can't have any girl friends because she can't take it.. I don't have many girl friends take hear as good music as I hear, here everyones likes latin music called raegeton and romantics.. I don't.. so, when I hear music I like to close all doors and enjoy without distractions.. and the pic that she found was with another friend that was kissing me friendly at my face, but with her body on top of me.. not very pleasant in the eyes of my gf..
@hotsummer (10800)
• Guam
20 Sep 08
by reading this discussion it seems that you wanted your girlfriend to break up with you but you don't want to do it yourself. but i think that the other member is right that you should tell it by yourself than wait for your girlfriend to break with you. it is better than let her expect that you will going to change or make her hope that you still love her. i think that your girlfriend does not know that youaare not really in love with her any more. maybe she thought you were only tempted to pursue other girl and that you don't want to leave her actually.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
yeah.. you right.. I should tell her the truth.. thanks for the advice..
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
Good day... Don't push your luck that often bro sooner and later she's going to get tired of those things you do, get her head and heart straight and fall out of love. When that happens nothing you'll do would ever win her back, trust me I learned my lesson the hard way. Some girl keep it in themselves, bear the hurt and insecurities, they'll try to make it work without much complains but when the time comes to accept and move on with their lives these are also the girls that never took another look and will just leave you, not that you don't deserve that. So if you love her better change than be sorry later on, it's hard to find good woman now a days that would accept your imperfections and stay with you for as long as they can but you should do your part as well. Good luck.
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the advice.. It's true what are you saying.. It must be hard to find another girl that accept my imperfections.. I'll do my best to change.. thank you blackmantra..
• China
20 Sep 08
iraq - iraq child in the bloody war
i believe your girlfriend loves you very much. but why you did that/ why you always hurt her? i don't understand why boy always can't be content with his partner even she loves him very much, but i know that, not everybody has the patient, maybe you will lose your lover because of your carelessness. we all should cherish the person who is besides you.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
I think so too.. I don't know why I do it.. I'm surrounded by friends that do the same thing.. I guess that I want to do the same as they do.. but I'm decided to say the truth to my gf.. thanks for the reply
@ace_ivann (326)
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
Hi Anchopy! I was into that kind of situation before and it was really hard. I only did that because I guess I did not love her anymore. I just could not tell her the truth because I did not want her to be hurt. But what I did was even more hurtful for her. She caught me many times with another girl. Some of her friends saw me with another girl and she even knew it. But she still preferred to stay with me. It's really hard to say, "I don't like you anymore" or "I fell out of love." But honesty is still the best policy. We really have to tell our partner the truth, so as not to hurt each other more.
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
Hi Ivann.. finally someone that have the same situation.. it's really hard.. others don't see this because for they the answer is simple.. "Just break with her".. I don't see it that simple.. thanks for the reply.
@myklj999 (49253)
• United States
20 Sep 08
Well, I gotta say you're a real loser and if your girlfriend had any sense or self-respect she would dump you. Jerks like you give real men a bad name.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
you 2 must be really holy guy that never did something wrong.. c'mon...
@shwanks (145)
• United States
20 Sep 08
i think its very sad that you talk about this like we should somehow pity you. cheating is beyond me. if you want to do something with someone else then you need to end it with your girlfriend first, THEN go do whatever with whoever. karma will take care of you.
1 person likes this
@Anchopy (1453)
• Paraguay
22 Sep 08
thanks for the advice.. say hi to karma when you see it..