Should we get a cat?

September 20, 2008 12:53pm CST
WMy partner has his heart set on getting a cat as a pet. I don't really like cats (they scare me a little and I am not keen on any presents they may bring in). I really feel uncomfortable about not letting him get one as he seems really passionate about getting one. We have discussed getting a pet for the past two years but it hasn't happened yet. I've never had a pet, and to be honest have no desire for one. My partner says it will be his cat and he will look after it and I don't have to do anything. However as he works twelve hours a day, would it be feasible and kind to get one? I find it difficult to be affectionate towards animals and don't want it to feel rejected. My partner has had a cat in the past and says he looked after it well and loved it. So what should we do next? We're both feeling guilty as I don't want him to feel like he can't have something he'll love and he doesn't want me to feel uncomfortable in our home. Should we get a cat or not?
3 people like this
21 responses
20 Sep 08
Ive told you what i think you should do - look at cats, you may fall in love with one. I remember Liz used to be scared of my mum cats, she didn't like them looking at her and would say to Chris 'he's looking at me, he's looking at me' it was funny. She has grown to accept the cats and will stroke them when they come near her but shes still not big fan of cats. Maybe your so against cats is because you haven't had one before or never had a pet. Think of it this way, when hes busy working you will have someone to snuggle and keep you company. If I lived on the ground floor, I would get a cat. I hope you will both be able to compromise on this!!! If you need me you know where to find me. I'm only a phone call/text away x
21 Sep 08
Hehe well I dunno what will happen but you will be the first to find out. I am not looking forward to it...
21 Sep 08
Stop getting yourself stressed and worked up about it!! You will find a solution that will suit both of you!! x
16 Oct 08
Thanks for BR!!
@TheCatLady (4695)
• Israel
20 Sep 08
Don't get a cat or any pet unless all member of the household are comfortable with the decision. It's not fair to you and it's not fair to the cat. A pet is a commitment for the life of the pet. You might try fostering a cat or kitten to see what it is like living with one, before you make a 20 yer commitment to one of your own. With a foster you have a short term commitment, anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.
@esilanna (168)
• Malta
21 Sep 08
Hello mylotting friend!!! I agree perfectly with what you are saying. A pet is a commitment and responsibility. All members of the family has to agree with this decision. It is not nice bringing a pet in a household when no one is ready to take care of it!!!! Good day my friends.
21 Sep 08
Thanks for your response, I appreciate it as you seem to know your cats. The more time I have had to think about it the more my sense of dread has grown. Fostering is probably a better idea. I am worried a my partner works for twelve hours a day and I am also away for 10 hours so the cat will be on its own. And my partner really wants to get a bengal kitten (anyone know anything about them?).
• Israel
21 Sep 08
Bengals are very high energy cats. I wouldn't suggest on as your first cat. It will drive you nuts. A moggy, DSH, is always the best. If your partner wants a breed, Persians and Rag Dolls, are the calmest. Talk to your partner and be honest about how much you dread the thought of living with a cat.
@glords (2614)
• United States
21 Sep 08
Offer to keep someones pet while they are on vacation. Perhaps after spending some time with a cat you will feel differently. I used to have the same aversion to dogs. After dog sitting for my best friend I now feel very differently. In the very least this will help you make a more informed decision. Good luck!
21 Sep 08
I don't know anyone with a cat but that is a really good idea.
@glords (2614)
• United States
21 Sep 08
Perhaps you could post on Craigslist or some other local bulletin. I bet there are a ton of people who would really appreciate it if you to watch their cat.
@pinks17 (2192)
• Philippines
21 Sep 08
Hi give her what he wants and I suggest you get a persian cat so that it sleeps all the time.Persian cats are so lazy.YOu can check out my avatar,you will see my two persian cats.You don't have to really have your eyes on them.As long as you have a food prepared for them,water to drink and make sure that they know where to go if the need to pee and poop.A cat has an instinct that a cat litterbox is ready for him somewhere,you just have to train him where to go for his litterbox.Persians are low maintenance cats.
21 Sep 08
He wants a bengal kitten, they don't look very lazy to me but I thought most cats are low maintenance
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
22 Sep 08
Ohh, I love Bengals! They are so stunning! Cats are low maintenance compared to some other pets (except maybe goldfish ), but some breeds of cats are more vocal than others! Also keep in mind that shedding can be a problem, depending on the breed. I am a Siamese person myself. They are so loyal. My husband and I plan to get one in the future. Our last one passed away a few years ago.
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
21 Sep 08
It's not for anyone but you and your partner to decide. However my mom told me that my stepfather wasn't keen on the idea of getting a cat. But as they had some sort of rodent in their place she thought it would be wise to get a cat to help get rid of it. They ended up getting an older kitten from the SPCA. Long story short my step father treats their cat like it is their baby. He even takes the cat out for walks. Good luck whatever you decide!
21 Sep 08
Thanks I hope it works out for us like it did for them. I am so worried about the whole thing.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
22 Sep 08
So does this mean you will be getting a cat?
• United States
21 Sep 08
How about going to the shelter and try before you buy so to speak. See if any pick you as an owner. I think animals know when someone doesn't like them and therefore they will be mean and it will put a rift between you two. Your partner needs to understand your feelings and hesitations too.
21 Sep 08
The idea of going to a shelter scares me, but it is a good idea. I think if we don't get a cat it will put a rift between us anyway as he feels like he's giving up on something he loves because of me.
• United States
22 Sep 08
shelters have good and bad points. It's just nice to be able to take one in a room as long as you want instead of getting one home and discovering it doesn't like you. A pet can really be a big decision. Good luck!
20 Sep 08
The great thing about cats is that they are pretty independent and so won't take nearly as much maintenance as a dog for example. My mum didn't really like cats when we first got ours (the deal was, my mum would agree to a cat and my dad would in return agree to go skiing - my parents have yet to go skiing and we've had the cat ten years) but over time I think she has begrudgingly begun to love him. Then again, if you really don't like cats, perhaps you could compromise on another type of animal. I miss my cat loads since moving away from home, but i'm with you on not liking their "presents". Our cat once brought in a completely alive mouse which was scurrying around the lounge. Good job my dad was in the house to get rid of it. Our cat hasn't brought anything in since getting older though, so if you really hate the thought of the presents then you could ask to get an older cat to lessen the chances of this. Kittens are adorable but they certainly like to play with their "food".
21 Sep 08
I would say you can definitely leave a cat for that long, as long as you've put some food and water down for them. Once, we were supposed to be putting our cat in a cattery whilst we went on holiday, but on the day we were due to leave, we couldn't find him anywhere and had to leave him behind. We got a neighbour to top up his food every day and he was fine for two weeks. Then again, he is a fully house trained adult cat. You might have more work with a kitten. But our cat didn't take at all long to train when we first got him.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
21 Sep 08
If you don't like cats don't let this thing be imposed on you. Are you ready to be comfortable with their hair on your sofa and their smell? Do visit homes with cats and see if you are comfortable with their presence or not. If you feel comfortable than go ahead but if not I would not allow my partner to bring a cat at home. Its better to say not than end up with another stray cat in the streets.
21 Sep 08
I hate the smell of petfood and this never occured to me until you mentioned it. I don't think I have much of a choice, we all have to compromise I guess.
@danram (49)
• Malta
21 Sep 08
I suggest that you bring a cat for a week and see how it works .If you don't like the situation than talk about it and tell your partner that you're not happy with the situation.than i suggest you try to make it better by playing and getting closer to pets.
21 Sep 08
I really do not like animals and have to brace myself when visiting other peoples homes when they have pets. I don't know how I am going to change.
@NrgDfenZ (1810)
• Belgium
21 Sep 08
I have a cat, and I absolutely love her :D It is really fun to have one.. Get one and see how it turns out for you ^^ Have a nice day..
21 Sep 08
We'll just have to see what happens!
@jm0911 (53)
• Philippines
21 Sep 08
hahha i have 2 pets.. the orange one is too weird.. he's afraid with darkness.. haha and the other one kept on looking outside the window.. hahahaha kind of weird cats i have.. ^_^ but they were cool..
21 Sep 08
Sounds funny, specially as cats are nocturnal animals!
• United States
21 Sep 08
It is a big step to get any pet . A lil critter that depends on you for everything it needs . It is huge. Make sure it is what you want to do . If you get one then decide you do not want it , then the poor thing has to go through all that stress and it may not be easy for you either. My fiance did not like my cats. He moved in and anytime he could he would complain about them. So what I did , I picked my newest addition to be his . He refused the idea , but now they are inseparable . She sits on his lap and plays fetch like a lil dog. I find him laughing and giggling at the kitten more and more . His stress level also went down and my fiance seems to be happier and healthier. I think a pet is an amazing addition to your life but be prepared. Cats are mischievous , and are nocturnal naturally so take that into account. Read up on them more , and with your relationship , communication is key! Talk how you feel about it , and sit down together look over different breeds , food , toys . Then maybe make your decision then . I hope this helps I wish you two the best!!
21 Sep 08
It feels like a lose-lose situation as whatever decision is made one person will be disappointed. I am kind of dreading it but then it will be something I can get used to. As my partner had one before when he lived alone, he'll be alright looking after it I hope! I should let him have one as I already feel guilty about him not eating much meat in the home (I am vegetarian).
• Philippines
21 Sep 08
hi there.. :) if i were you, i would agree to the idea of getting a pet, in ur case a cat. try that for a change. Theres no harm in trying others stuff for a change. just give it a chance and sometime for you to love the cat.. make sure that the said cat had all the necessary antirabbies injections before you bring it to your home.. and also one more thing, make sure that you are not allegic to the fur of animals, you might want to chaeck first if you have a history of asthma, of course you have to bear with some of the responsibility once you adopt a cat, some of which are feeding them regularly, teaching them were to urinate ang make their vowel, i would say that it will be challenging atfirst, but once you get the hang of it, and your cat will go to ur lap or to your feet, trying to welcome you everytime you get to yuor home, im sure that it will all be worth it.. also make sure you do have a cage for it and a place in the house where you both plan to put the cat.. hope that i had help yuo decide to yuor concern.. have a good day ang god bless..
21 Sep 08
My partner is asthmatic but has had a cat before with no problems. I am not too keen on the idea and am incredibly squeamish but if he really wants one then we probably will.
@hiddenwing (3721)
• China
21 Sep 08
It is very hard to make a decision. Once my sister loved the cat so much. My mom, on the other hand, kind of hate cats. Thus, there were a lot of problems though my mom finally decided to keep the cat, who is really cute. When my sister and I went back to school after the holiday, the cat went through a hard life. I understood the my mom is tirsome! Anyway, we can't force her to do things that she doesn't like!
21 Sep 08
Lol, oh dear I hope that doesn't happen with me.
• Malaysia
21 Sep 08
I understand how u feel. I myself dislike cats as well however i do like dogs. But i still think tat u should get a cat then later see how things works out. If it is as said by ur partner that he'll care of it and u dun have to do a thing then it should be fine to have the cat. However, they wouldn't be a way to avoid it when ur living together with it so its better u try gettin along with the cat and like many have said u might just fall in love with it.
21 Sep 08
I hate to admit it but I am already thinking of ways to avoid it ut that isn't going to work really. I just don't know how I won't have to do a thing when I am the only one who drives and the one who is at home more.
@Msnforum (631)
• United States
20 Sep 08
If you like cats, you can get one. Before that, you have a lot of decision that you need to make first. First, do your parents or everyone that lives around you agree to the idea. If that ain't the case, you have to take a step back and decide further. Taking care of a cat needs a lot of work and resources. The cost of feeding a cat like a living animal might be an issue which you might not have worked out. Other issues besides that such as medical examination and medical fees can cost over a few hundred dollars. Do a rough estimate of how much it's worth to get a cat into your life.
21 Sep 08
It's only me and my partner who live here, and he says he can afford it so money isn't an issue. It is the work bit that worries me as we are both away in the week at work for 10-12 hours a day.
@underdogtoo (9589)
• Philippines
20 Sep 08
I don't particularly like pets whether dogs or cats. My kids wanted a puppy and I vetoed the idea so many times. They got around my veto by getting a cute little puppy when I was on a business trip. I had to admit the little doggie was so cute.
21 Sep 08
I'm glad there are people like me out there! My other worry is I'll be the one having to do most things as I am at home more and I am the only one who drives in the house.
• Canada
20 Sep 08
I would suggest getting one and seeing how it works out , it is not like if you get one that you couldn't find another home for it or bring it in to a shelter . You have never had a pet before and you may come to realize how much compaionship a pet can offer , and if you don't maybe it won't bother you as much as you thought it would . I don't think it would hurt to try with the agreement that if it was not working out that your partner would agree to finding it another home . Best of luck in whatever you decide :)
20 Sep 08
Thanks for your response, I suspect this is what we will end up doing!
• Italy
16 Oct 08
I'd like to underline that a cat is a living being. A cat is for ever. Think twice before to get a cat, as I did. Once I decided to take a cat home, and my life changed, I had to take care of him, to feed him, to take him to the veterinary if getting ill and so. A cat is a very indipendent animal, but you need to take care anyway. Consider you may be in a need to go out just to buy food for your cat. I have three cats now, 2 male and 1 small female and I am very happy. Who will follow my post will see my cats pics. Anyway, a cat is a very friendly animal, and believe me if I say that a cat has got a personality.
• United States
22 Sep 08
I think you should go ahead and get one. Even if your aprtner wokrs 12 hours a day, cat's arent' very difficult to care for and don't require much attnetion or tending to. That's one of the resons i prefer cats over dogs. There's no worry about walking, you just have to clean up the litter box, which your partner can do when he gets home. They are fairly independednt so more than likely they aren't going to be hounding you for attention. I jsut think that cats are wonderful pets and I lvoe being a cat owneer. And for the most part they wont hurt you unless they feel threatened or attacked