Murdering your disabled child..........

@scorpio19 (1363)
September 24, 2008 4:54am CST
I'm just watching a day time program and they are discussing a woman Joanne Hill she has been found guilty of murdering her disabled 4 yr old daughter because she could not cope with her daughters diabilty, the little girl, Naomi had Cerebral Palsy. Throughout Joanne's trail her legal team was trying to get her off with diminished responsibility claiming she was not sound of mind at the time she did murder her daughter. http://www.itv.com/Lifestyle/ThisMorning/features/copingwithCerebralPalsy123/default.hmtl I'm so split with this, on one had I wonder how much help the mother was getting but on the other hand no matter what I can't see how you get to the point where you think murder is the way out. Please share with me your point of views. Thank you so much.
4 people like this
16 responses
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
i was really touched to read this post. i havent heard of the news and still looking for it over the net now. i also had a disabled daughter (with arnold chiari malformation type 2) but she has already joined the Creator last January aging 1 year and 6mos. yes it's really hard to cope with child's need and behavior but being a parent you are suppose to sacrifice to give the best to your child specially in Naomi's case. she needs a lot of love, care and understanding. if she can't deal with the situation anymore other option is to give the child to the social welfare custody.there she will be taken cared of and her needs may be provided.
@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
Hello despompa I'm so sorry to her about the loss of your daughter. I think that's what people have a hard to time understanding this woman, why didn't she just ask for help.
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
exactly. maybe she had relatives that are willing to lend support. or maybe she's just fed up with the kind of responsibility she was given. if i was given the choice, i would not want to give up my daughter just yet. i mean, i wanted to spend longer time with her. but i don't want to be selfish and i don't want to see her suffering prolonged. she has undergone 14 surgeries all of which is in the head. but i wanted to her her rested that's why i prayed so sincerely that if she wasn't really for us just take her with you. it will be very painful for us parents but the pain that we're going through will be much lesser than seeing her in agony. until; now, i still miss her very much but i also knew that God has better plans for us. it was a great opportunity that we were given the chance to take care of her and love and make her a part of our life and our inspiration.
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@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
Oh bless you despompa I'm so touched by you but your daughter was taken naturally, it was her time, you sound so much like my sister was with her daughter, that's what she said about her daughter, everytime she was poorly in hospital she would tell her it was ok to go and like you she felt very blessed to have had her daughter and all that she added to our lives, that's why I have such a hard time understanding this with this woman. My niece was so precious to us all and not a day goes by when I don't miss both my niece and my sister, I find it very hard to understand how someone would take that away from themselves.
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
24 Sep 08
Murder is a murder, there's no tolerating term against it, especially that a mother who has the heart to kill her own child even she is disabled child, a child has a right to live, and no one may take someone live ... i know it's hard, but she must accept it whatever God has give us a child ... she must live with it ...
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
I tend to agree with you I suffered with serious depression after my third child and I had very dark thoughts but I would rather have given my child up to someone else rather then ever of hurt him, he's 9 now and I see that time in my life for what it was an illness, that's why I agree because no matter how bad things get a life is a life and no one has the right to take it..thank you for responding.
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Live with it! Or murder the child. She didn't have much choice did she? So she just flipped out of her mind and killed the child. to condemn her is to say that we are all better than her. I can't condemn her because I'm no better than her, sometimes when I'm too exhausted and too broke I wish to God that my life would change that my husband and my children would just disappear so I can have an easier life. Am I better than her? What do you think?
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
Fleurdelis we all feel, like that at times in our lives, especially been a mother it is an hard job and has a mother and wife we are constantly on the go we never can completely switch off from all the stresses that family life brings with it, I myself have wished my kids away from me so I can have a break or questioned why I even had kids in the first place but I've never murdered them. I seriously think this woman needed help and it does beg the question where was the professional help, I mean if the child was disabled I'm assuming she required regular medical help so why wasn't the mothers mental state picked up on, it isn't about been better or not better than this woman it's trying to see how in this day and age and with all the professinal organisations we do have, why did this woman not get some help or it was picked up on or at the very least queried.
• China
25 Sep 08
this is really a thoughful problem. i was shocked by the result. but i can feel the mother's helplessness. anyway, the girl who is disabled. that's not the falut of both the girl and her monther. it's destiny. since destiny has decided all. we can do nothing except help the desabled girl go out of difficulty. murdering is a big mistake. any one can take away other's life except god. i feel sad at thew news again.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hi wiseshopping, I believe in destiny to a point but somethings are still so very hard to understand and I do feel sometimes we are in charge of our own destiny so it's not set in rock. It is just such a shame the mother did it and felt it was her only way out..thanks for response.
• United States
25 Sep 08
I know that in the days of ancient Sparta, babies and children who were not healthy were thrown in the fire or left for the wolves because they were not expected to survive. Today, we humans to do not have to resort to that. If you have a child that you cannot take care, then give him or her up for adoption, put them in a rehab center, or a group home. Some single mothers, not all, who have children with severe disabilites do put their children in homes because they cannot take care of them 24/7. The state will provide care for these people. Honestly, women should not have to resort to killing a child just because he or she is not normal or healthy. We are not living in ancient Sparta, we do not have to kill our children because they are not normal or healthy.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hi rougues13xmen13, Yes we have moved on alot since ancient times and there is never any reason to kill for all the reasons you have pointed out...thank you.
• United States
25 Sep 08
The woman is a monster. First of all, it was not that she couldn't cope like she had a hard time caring for her. She was embarassed of the fact that her child had MILD cerebral palsy. Second of all, she was drinking a lot and cheating on her husband. The marriage was obviously in trouble, her husband obviously loved the little girl, divorce and custody granted to the father would have solved everything. There is NO WAY to ever ever justify the cold blooded murder of an innocent 4 year old child. I have clinical depression and two years ago I was diagnosed with DID as a result of childhood abuse. I also have 4 children ages 13 to 10. It is NOT easy for me ever, but I would never even consider killing my children. In my opinion the sentence was too light. The woman only got 15 years. I think she should have gotten life at the very least. After all that little girl will not be able to fall in love, get married, or experience anything. Granted a child murderer is not going to have an easy time of it in jail. I hope she gets the professional help she needs though and realizes just what a disgusting and horrendous thing she has done to her own daughter.
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hello angelsdozen, That's it isn't it, we all have hardship, I myself have serve post natal depression 9 yrs ago because of childhood abuse and I had some really dark deep thoughts but I would of run a million miles away rather than hurt my child because I knew myself I was not right in the head (at that time) but I seeked help I admitted I couldn't cope..and your very right this isn't about her not coping she was ashamed of her daughters condition...thanks.
@smiley83 (1535)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 08
OWH MY GOSH,,, what is going on with her? owh my gosh it is such a disaster.. in between, i have heard about loads of worse cases than that...i have heard about a mother who put her baby child who was only few months old in the laundry machine !!! it such a horrible thought...owh gosh! Smiley,
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hi smiley83, It is an horrible thought...thanks for response.
@emarie (5450)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I would rather take my own life then the life of my own child. thats just how my thinking is. i could never imagine doing harm to my child like that no mater the circumstances. but i wasn't in her shoes either. i'm blessed to have 2 healthy children. i can imagine it was tough for her and if i were in her shoes and i was standing trial, i would probably plead guilty and want to be punished. i wouldn't want anything less. if i had to live with the guild of killing my own child, i'd probably want to die to.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hi emarie, I think most would think along those lines but hopefully we would seek help before any need to kill anyone..thanks for response.
@relundad (2311)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I tried the link but it wasn't available, but according to your discussion and from what I can tell this is a horrific story. As a mother I can't imagine killing my own child, especially in such a terrible suffering kind of way. But having said that, I have no idea what the physical, mental,emotional and financial demands are to raise a severely mentally or physically handicapped child. It's not that hard for me to imagine that not everyone would be equipped to deal with this on a full time basis. Its pretty easy for us to say that we would handle this situation different, but I can only pray that I would be able to handle. None of know what our breaking point is and when we get to that breaking point what will happen. I pray that she was mentally ill, and did not take her childs life out of selfishness. Her life will forever be hell as she had to watch her ill child that she could only do so much to help and now she must forever live with the fact that she killed her child. No matter if she was mentally ill or not, I think that she should not "get off" on the charges, as there's no getting around the fact that she took a life, a baby that she gave birth to.
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hi relundad, We all don't fully know how we would cope with a disabled child but has mothers I know we can say we would find a different way to solve our mental state, there is so much now that is been done to help people, so many organisations that are readily available to anyone, all you have to do is ask...and that is what I struggle with that the mother only saw murder has her only option...thanks.
@jmhall (143)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I had not heard this story but can not imagine things being so bad that you would murder your own child. I can not even think of causing harm to any child, let alone my own. I think that it is a horrible crime. This child was defensless and as any child does looks to their parents for love and support, they do not expect for you to cause them harm. I for one am really tired of people committing horrible crimes and trying to get out of being responsible for it by claiming temporary insanity or not of sound mind. I am sorry but if you are killing another human being and your life is not being threatened then yes you are not right in the head but that does not mean that you should not be held responsible for your actions.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hi jimhall, I couldn't agree more with you, I think if we can't understand someones behaviour in our society then we are to quick to label them with a mental illness, so that we can better understand it which isn't on, if a person can commit the crime then yes someones not sound of mind but it is not an excuse to commit a crime. You have pointed out that children look to their parent for love and security and place all their trust in their parent, what must that baby have gone through having her own mum drown her..it's heartbreaking to even start thinking about it...thanks.
• Malaysia
24 Sep 08
Shedding innocent blood will bring curses. If she could not cope with a disabled child she could hand over to others like the Social Welfare Department. So much of innocent blood are shed nowadays through abortions and murders. We are now living in the last days and I expect more of such crimes.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hello maryrajam1962, She could of taken a different route and asked for help..surely if she felt ashamed to ask, the shame of admitting you can't cope, would be better than living with murdering her daughter..words fail me..thanks.
@MissGia (955)
• United States
24 Sep 08
A lot of parents have to deal with children with disabilities such a cerebral palsy, but do they all go and murder their child because they can't deal with it? No, they don't, they cope and deal with it like any mother should. Some people are not fit to deal with such things, but i don't think murdering your child is a sound option. Deep down I'm saying let the lady fry,because i just can't come to terms with how a mother can do this..it's just sickening But on the other hand i also think, Let her live..living with this on her mind for the rest of her life is punishment enough.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
25 Sep 08
Hi MissGia, I tend to agree I'm also struggling how she went through with murdering her daughter. I understand she must of been under a lot of physiological stress and to a point can see how she could of thought about it but to actually do it, now that defies my mind..thanks so much for your response.
@bestboy19 (5481)
• United States
24 Sep 08
It never ceases to amaze me the selfishness of women today. They don't want to be bothered with a child so their solution to their problem is to kill it. It saddens me to think what women have become.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
Thanks for response.
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
24 Sep 08
[i]Hi scorpio, I tried the link but it says not available, I do know if this is my connection..ANyway, I haven't heard this story but encounter the same story recently in our Country! It is really very sad and awful! I wonder if any of the Family were there for her to support her morally and spiritually to cope up with the problem and to encourage her about life...I know there are many people who are in this situation and wish this will not happen again and instead, they will search for any organizations who are helping these people![/i]
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
Hi Checapricorn, Her husband was on the news so I'm assuming they were a family unit so again it makes one wonder why no one noticed how much this childs disabilty affected the mother and it must of shown on her. Thanks for response.
@subha12 (18450)
• India
24 Sep 08
whatever may be at last it was nothing else than murder. that too she murdered her child. i have seen the parents of disabled children have a hard time. she was unable to cope with it.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
thank you.
@Lee_Rites (845)
• United States
24 Sep 08
Anyone that gets caught committing a crime has to face whatever consequences come their way. I don't see how anyone can murder their own child. But I also can not put myself in their shoes. There is not telling what this woman was thinking or feeling at the time. She obviously needed help and it is a shame that no one saw this.
1 person likes this
@scorpio19 (1363)
24 Sep 08
Yes that's true but alot of people who are suffering with some type of depression, a part of the illness is been very closed down and feeling ashamed of their dark thoughts and feeling but even so I do fail to understand how she actually went through with murdering her own child, it is hard to put yourself in that place mentally...thanks for your response.
@SangsTurks (1446)
• India
24 Sep 08
The mother had to bear the pain on both ends. If she didnt kill her child, she would have to see her suffer throught the life that the daughter lived. Now that she has killed the child she is facing charges and is again suffering. There was los for the mother on both ends...she had nothing to gain. being a mother is such a difficult task. You would love your child so much that you would hate to even se a scratch on the child, it would hurt you in your heart. Imagine her looking at her daughter everyday suffering with pain and discomfort. Dont get me wrong, i am not saying that she did the right thing by killing her daughter, but what i am trying to say is that it is so dificult for a mother to choose between a daughter who is suffering everyday of her life AND Silencing her (alteast she would not suffer if she was not alive). It would not matter to her what the courts decision would be as i think she would be content that alteast her daughter is at peace now!! You never know what goes on in a mothers head and heart when she sees her child suffer so much.