What do you talk about?

United States
September 24, 2008 9:08am CST
My husband and I spend time talking on almost a daily basis. After the kids are in bed we will sit on the sofa with no distractions and just talk. Sometimes it's about our day, sometimes it's discussing the past (nostolgia), sometimes it's world events or politics or religion etc, but at least once a week we try to discuss an important topic pertaining to our marriage. We will discuss problems we're having in the marriage, or problems we're having personally such as our self esteem and how it's affecting the other. I feel a lot closer to him when we have an important discussion about our relationship problems. It always makes me feel even more in love with him, and makes it easier to open up to him and let me be more vulnerable. But sometimes we have trouble finding things to talk about. He doesn't like to talk about the same thing for very long, and if we discussed a problem last night, he doesn't like the same problem being brought up tonight. He just feels like we've said all we had to say about it, and he can't think of anything new to add. While I'm the opposite, I don't think I could ever stop talking about something if I felt good about that discussion. I spend a bit of time everyday searching the web for new conversation topics. I try to find new insight into our marital problems, or even personal problems. If I find something interesting then it will be a conversation topic that evening. But I'm running out of ideas! I can't think of anything to even look for on the internet. I think we've covered all our problems, and most of them have gotten better since we've discussed them. The others we're still working on. Since we have no movies to watch this evening, I need some good conversation ideas, lol. What sorts of things do you discuss with your spouse? Do you discuss important topics pertaining to your relationship? Do you get your ideas from the internet or from your day to day life? How often do you spend quality time just talking with your spouse?
3 people like this
12 responses
@gemini_rose (16192)
24 Sep 08
Do you know, sometimes it is really hard to talk to my hubby about anything serious or intellectual because he either does not listen, or does not take me serious and makes fun out of what I say making immature comments. This is why half the time I dont talk to him. Somedays because I am home all day and do not see anyone I find it hard to have a conversation because I have not seen anyone. I should perhaps look on the web for ideas to talk about! Any quality talking time is done when the kids are in bed, it is absolutely impossible to talk with them about. As soon as we start talking guarantee one of the kids starts interrupting or crying about something.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Sep 08
We had that problem last night. I'd found a website I wanted to bring to his attention and it sparked a serious conversation. Everytime I opened my mouth the baby would let out a shriek of joy. I literally could not let a sound out of my mouth because the baby was just constantly shrieking. Finally we put the kids to bed and had our discussion.
1 person likes this
@Samanthavv (1383)
• United States
24 Sep 08
I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I can't talk to my husband. We can't "just talk." According to him, we have to have something specific in mind, and only say what needs to be said and then drop it. The same way with spending time. We can't just "hang out." We have to have something specific planned and then do it. I don't like the pressure.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Sep 08
Me and my husband talk a lot, every time there is opportunity we will talk everything under the sun, about our past relationship, our friends, sometimes our enemies and most of the time our children. we talk a lot about them how we can raise them very well and to give them everything they've needed because we had already five children and the youngest was a triplet baby girl.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
24 Sep 08
If you have run out of conversation... that its time for action. Switch off the lights and let the talking starts! :) We try to go for short walks together even without our son where we can talk about what is troubling us. We have the opportunity to talk what is going on in our lives at work.
1 person likes this
@esilanna (168)
• Malta
24 Sep 08
Hello mylotting friends!!! It is an important thing to spend some quality time talking with your spouse. Most of the time we talk about how everything had gone in our day, especially at work. Have a nice evening. Happy mylotting!!
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4216)
• United States
24 Sep 08
My husband is always tired when he gets home from work. We usually eat dinner, and then sit down to watch the news. We discuss parts of the news, his day,and then we usually get on to whether the kids called or what is going on with the grandkids. My daughter is always needing help with something, so we are talking about her problems, whether her car needs work, whether her air conditioning is still working - those sort of things. We discuss the upcoming soccer games of the grandkids. We do discuss the economy and how we will survive. WE hash things over and over from day to day. Then sometimes we don't talk about much at all.
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
24 Sep 08
We usually talk about our experiences we had in our relationship. What and how we have been through before we get married. We both knew it wasn't easy to be where we are right now. We talk about his kids, my family, our work, financial, politics and of course how much we love each other...hehe. There's no week that we never talk how we feel to each other and why we love each other. For us that's important to talk about. Sometimes we talk about our mistakes too. It is a way of letting each other know or be aware of our actions. We mostly talk about us. It is so nice to have conversation with your partner everyday. That way, that makes you more closer to each other and know deeper. My husband is my bestfriend. He is the one knew me very well and vice versa.
1 person likes this
@MOMMASAM (1004)
• United States
24 Sep 08
i think that is one of the joys of a good marriage. communicating. that is so vital for a strong marriage. do you talk about important things every night? why not let him choose the topic form discussion one night? or, put slips of paper into a hat and pull one out. both of you have to put their own slips into the hat. how about board games? even checkers ! discuss new hobbies you might do together. i think the important thing is to relax and have a good time. how about some of the topics discussed on myLot? if he were a membe how would he respond?
• United States
24 Sep 08
We don't talk every night, but if we're not talking then we're watching a movie together or something of that sort. I'd say we talk 3-4 nights a week, for at least an hour or 2. The problem is he's not very good at talking. He actually has to spend the entire day coming up with a conversation, and it's usually not a very good one. He tries to start conversations by asking simple questions like what did the kids do today or did I do anything interesting. Usually those questions don't lead to a conversation, and I'm the one who starts the important ones. I'm not complaining, at least he's trying, he's just not very creative or imaginative. I suppose it's not as important to him, but he does it for me. Mostly he tells me about things he heard on the news, and that will usually get a conversation going, although I prefer to talk about relationship issues, because I don't get the closeness feeling when we discuss world events. I do discuss Mylot sometimes if I've come across an interesting conversation. Sometimes we may discuss it for awhile, and sometimes I'm just letting him know and he nods and we move on to something else.
1 person likes this
@MOMMASAM (1004)
• United States
4 Oct 08
yes, give him 10 points for trying. i think men don't find communication as easy as women. thank you for best response, also.
@thedaddym (1736)
• United States
25 Sep 08
Any number of things. The kids, our friends, other family members, health concerns, finances, sometimes we talk about television shows. We can talk about things that are bothering us, or things that happened during the day when we were not together. Sometimes we even reminice about funny things that happened to us in the past. We sometimes talk about our future. We sometimes talk about football or tennis. My wife and I talk a lot so there is probably nothing that we have not talked about.
• India
25 Sep 08
yes I often spend my free time talking to my spouse.. I alot a part of my free time for my Parents as well.. I generally talk on what happened in office on that day, whom did I meet and if any special event happened...
@marisriel (1157)
• Philippines
25 Sep 08
That is the one thing that I think made me and my husband attracted to each other. It's because we love to talk on any topic that we can think of. Sometimes we disagree and I get irritated but most of the time, we agree and we enjoy talking a lot. Before we sleep and the kids are already asleep, we usually have not so long conversations but enjoyable ones. We talk about our beliefs in God and say our opinions of others. Sometimes we are guilty of criticizing others and make a joke of others and laugh about them. But it's just talk for us. I don't think there's harm in doing that as we do not offend others by saying it to them upfront. Then we will pray to God to forgive us for doing that.
@Jade13 (262)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 08
HMMmm. Sometime we can don't talk at all. Cos you see, he's engrossed in his laptop, while I am engrossed in my PSP. HAHA. But we do talk everyday, about work, about someone at the office, about future. Sometimes I find an interesting news at the paper, and I will show him. Sometimes we discussed about the game we are playing.