Why do men think that women cannot make decisions?

@sharra1 (6341)
Australia
September 26, 2008 3:52am CST
I just read a discussion started by a man who thinks that women make bad decisions so maybe someone should make the decision for them. Oh please. After centuries of having men make decisions for us no wonder some women have trouble making the right choice. It take time and education to make informed decisions. Besides who said that men are so good at making decisions. Talk about ego. People make decisions and they make mistakes. It is called learning. Men and women are different but I cannot understand why men think they are so superior to women that they should do their thinking for them as well. So tell me. Men do you think that you should make decisions for the women in your life? If so, why and are you prepared to take responsibility when it all goes wrong? If not why? And women how do you feel about this?
21 people like this
49 responses
@lynnemg (4536)
• United States
27 Sep 08
In my household, I am the one every one looks to for answers. I am expected to figure out the finances, make decisions about everything big and small. I am the problem solver, the one who can always figure it out. My husband has the capability of making decisions, but by his own admittance, my decisions are always the more logical and reasonable ones. I am not saying that men in general make bad decisions all of the time, but come on, if all the decisions were left up to the men in this world, we'd all be in trouble. Men often make decisions without thinking about the end result, women tend to think about things more before decidig.
3 people like this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
I do like that. I agree with you that we would be in a lot of trouble if men made every single decision, just look at the mess the economy is in.
1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
27 Sep 08
lynn, Nicely said. If only more men would admit that most women make the best decisions because they think things through from all sides with logic and reason and even from the emotional side. Decisions quite often affect our emotions and should be considerd from that stand point as well. leenie
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
29 Sep 08
I agree. I think emotions are very important and yet it is one of the things that men condemn us for. They often say we are too emotional and do not think rationally. I know men and women who are in touch with their emotions and they are well rounded people. I think we could do with more emotion and compassion in decision making and the world might be a nicer place.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36457)
• United States
27 Sep 08
men that think that are struck on themselves & probably don'tknow near as much as they think they do. they just want to control the lady & probably everybody else around them. decisions between a couple should be decided jointly. wake up women & have your say.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
You are right, decisions should be decided jointly but I have seen relationships that start off with the man saying he is doing it just to protect her out of love and as the years pass the women learns to go along with him or face his wrath that she is questioning him. It is hard to know the right thing. Women stay initially because they are in love and over time the war between that love and his behavior is hard to reconcile. We see it so often in cases where the wife is abused and people ask why did she not leave. It is more complicated than that. They are rarely abusive at the beginning. The trouble is that many women find dominance in a man attractive and women often confuse dominance and male chauvinism. I know that I did. I had my say and then faced a dilemma about what I wanted in a man. I wanted a man who was masculine and dominant who also respected me as an equal and I thought that was a contradiction until I learned that dominance is about men being strong, masculine etc but still able to respect women as intellectual equals. Yes they wanted to open doors for women and be protective but they still respected her as a person and as an intellectual equal. Male chauvinists on the other hand want a women who will bow down to them because they are male and they are often weak of character and sometimes just mean. These men see women as a sub human species and regard women as inferior because they are female. There is a big difference here. You see I believe that a man who is strong does not need to treat a woman as subservient as he is not frightened of her.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36457)
• United States
27 Sep 08
men are hard creatures to understand, you are damned if u do & damed if u don't. lol
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
I agree with that and they would say the same about women. lol.
1 person likes this
@cbreeze (1206)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I read the discussion you are referring to and decided not to even justify it with a response. Men and women make bad decisions. Men and women make good decisions. You could tell by the discussion starter that he has a very low opinion of women anyway because he didn't refer to us as women, he referred to us as girls. And education does not always ensure good decision making. Maturity and wisdom has more to do with making good decisions than anything regardless of gender.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
Very good point. He did refer to us as girls which is a way of reducing us to the level of children who cannot take care of themselves. Many men are like that, without a good woman they just cannot take care of themselves at all. I quite agree with you. I did respond because I try to re-educate people like that when I encounter them. It was a waste of time as he would not listen to anyone but a male. I believe that education can guide you to a point but experience is the best teacher in the end when it comes to learning how to make decisions. Maturity and wisdom gained by experience are where good decisions come from and if you are never allowed to decide for yourself you will never gain that wisdom. I have known just as many men as women make bad decisions. I agree that it has nothing to do with gender.
1 person likes this
@cbreeze (1206)
• United States
1 Oct 08
I'm not surprised that he wouldn't listen to you. I have a friend that told me he use to work for an Insurance company years ago. When a woman was assigned as the manager, most of the men quit. Can you imagine being that much against having a woman in a position of authority over them.
@Sheepie (3115)
• United States
29 Sep 08
That has to be the most sexist thing I have ever heard. Men get drunk and father children they don't want then they have to pay child support. Men are often all about impulse. There are some great men and not so great women, but I think that stereotypically, a woman can make a decision involving emotions way better than any man can.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
29 Sep 08
I quite agree with you. They can be very impulse people but they see that as ok because they are men. It is all about ego and they definitely have a lot of that. I have heard men complain that the problem with women is that they let their emotions interfere with their decisions but I think the world would be a much nicer place if emotions like compassion were more present in political decisions.
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4396)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
We women are complicated beings. The psychology behind our persons is so complex that men need visual aids to guide them: in a very descriptive image, a man is an on-off switch button, while a woman is a cockpit control board. We think of a lot of things all at the same time and this is important to accommodate our vital responsibility of child rearing. We derive our power from such complexities. We do not raise our fists to get what we want. We do not even take credit for accomplishing something that we are certain is our responsibility and our making. That is because we make men believe that they are in power, that men make the decisions for us, it's only way to keep men quiet and to keep them from asserting their egos and in result, bore us. Cheers! No, I'm not feminist. I love chivalry and women having special place in society and all that. But I do want equal human rights - which is still lacking in many parts of the world.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
Yes we are very complex beings. I quite agree with your wonderful response. I used to be a feminist and then I found that my desires and tastes conflicted with some of their beliefs. I am not one any more. I have learned how wrong I was about so many things that now I just want a world where people are treated equally regardless of gender, color, race or religion. I am not at all sure we will ever achieve it but I do hope so. The feminists got many things wrong but that often happens when people are breaking new ground and trying to change a whole culture. I enjoy chivalry and I believe that women should have a special place in society a well. I have learned a lot during my life and I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong. I just wish everyone else was like that as well.
1 person likes this
@kenzie45230 (3560)
• United States
26 Sep 08
Even women who only work in the homes make decisions each and every day and sometimes each and every hour. Only when a man tries filling in for a woman - actually doing all the cleaning and cooking and caring for the children - does he realize what goes into doing that. Women make decisions each time they shop for food - which product is the best one for the price, which food offers better nutrition for the family. Being in charge of the home not a simple task. Every woman is a space planner - designing the home and furnishings to best serve the family. She is a nurse's aide - deciding when a child is too sick to attend school or sick enough to go to a doctor. Which doctor to choose for the children is usually a decision left to the woman. If she works, which daycare or childcare center to use is left for the woman to decide. The ideal woman is described in the Bible in Proverbs 31. That woman made plenty of decisions. For instance, in Proverbs 31:16 is says, "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." In The Message (a paraphrase of the Bible), it says, "When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: "Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!" Every woman would be wise to read up on the Proverbs 31 woman and strive to balance life like she does. And every man would be wise to take heed of these words as well. Respecting and showing love towards women gets a much better reaction than ridicule.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
Yes women make a lot of decisions in running a household and not many men know just how much work or how complicated it is. There are some men who would argue that running a house does not mean that she is any good at business which they would argue is a man's field. However, there are men now who are starting to realise that women who have run households have a great number of skill that are useful in business and that these skills have been overlooked in the past because they were regarded just as woman's work. I agree with you that respecting and showing love towards women gets a much better reaction than ridicule.
1 person likes this
@sanjo0679 (225)
• United States
26 Sep 08
If I had to wait for my husband to make a decision nothing would ever be decided. The decision making in our household is solely my responsibility. I do ask his opinion most of the time, so he doesn't feel left out, but he almost always tells me to do what I think is best.
2 people like this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
Yes a lot of men are like that. They have no interest in how the household works as long as it works. I used to find it very tiring though to have to manage the household and work as well. I have known men who couldn't decide anything, their wives made all the decisions for them at home and at work they let their colleagues make them.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
26 Sep 08
Women and men know how to decide, the thing is, what are the basis of their decisions, as I know men decides mostly on logic, they are objective as to us, women, we rely on our emotions, on our feelings, our instinct. Maybe that is one the reason why they say women should not or cannot decide is because we base in on our feelings, maybe in some cases they are right, that we are blinded by pity, by rage, but in some cases, logic is no the only thing that matters. And yes both can decide, but it is actually not the decision that matters most, it is standing on your decision, taking up responsibilities and outcome of the decision. My hubby and me, we were so different, I am very subjective in my reasoning and he on the other is very objective, well we actually came up a very good decision most of the times because we consult each other and our decision produces balance decision based on both feelings and logic. On the lighter note, why is it that men, specially our partners, or those who are involve with women, always ask if they should or can join in after office noght out? Can they just decide for themselves?
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
26 Sep 08
I am a very logical person and yes I am also emotional but I never let emotion interfere with my decisions on money. I agree that it is the decision that matters and taking responsibility for it and dealing with the problems that might come from it. I have known men blame women when the man's decision goes wrong, suddenly it is the wife who is somehow at fault for it. Sad. I do not know that many men who are good at taking responsibility for decisions that go wrong. They always grab the ones that are right even when its not one they thought up. I think it is good that men and women are different. It makes sense that we form 2 halves of a whole when we come together and work together. Life would be boring if we were all the same. In the perfect environment we consult with each other and come to a decision that makes everyone happy. Men are not usually good at decisions that involve emotions, especially where women are involved.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26545)
• India
26 Mar 09
May be their arrogance or experience make them to think so.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
26 Mar 09
Good point. Too many people make assumptions about others by going from one example of experience and then assuming that all people are the same. Just because one has only met women who are silly does not mean all women are silly but some men do think like that. It is even probably that girls will act a certain way if they think that is what is expected of them or they are copying their friends to fit in to the group. The same could be said of men. People do seem to want to conform to groups even when they do not agree with them.
@balasri (26545)
• India
26 Mar 09
I think that there are capable and incapable persons in both the sexes.And we have come along way in the history of mankind to bother and discuss about this issue at all.It is an open world and nothing prevents any person to come forward in any field to prove his/her mettle.Is it not so?
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
28 Mar 09
I am not so sure. There are still many patriarchal sexist cultures that want to lock women back in the house and forbid them access to education and and form of rights. I think that as long as those cultures prevail women will always be struggling to be recognised as equal humans.
@jdyrj777 (6538)
• United States
2 Oct 08
Since i was 20 i have been on my own. Ive had 2 children to riase by myself. Ive made all my own decisions. There is no way shape or form am i going to let a man make any decisions for me. Im 52 now and doing very well.
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
3 Oct 08
No and you don't need to, we are quite capable of looking after ourselves.
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6538)
• United States
3 Oct 08
As i matter of fact i have met quite a few men (?) that while wanting to control me they want my to take care of them $$$. No way jose! im only responsible for me.
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6538)
• United States
3 Oct 08
These are the type i call males...not men.
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@rkrish (3003)
• India
26 Sep 08
It was the old saying because the decision are binded with financial commitments so the man makes most of the decision and woman are more emotionals than men so some decision may go wrong and least because of this also
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
26 Sep 08
I have heard this but I do not accept it. I am a very logical person and my partner is intuitive. I have spent most of my life making all my financial decisions. I do not need a man to tell me how to run my life when I have done it so well all on my own. For that matter my partner would not require me to do this either as he does not share the view that only men can make financial decisions. If they were so good at it why is the stock market in such a mess as they are mostly men making those decisions.
1 person likes this
@rkrish (3003)
• India
26 Sep 08
please read again i have stated as financial commitments. i state that as most of the men are earning in the world compare to woman in old days and most of the decision are lying between finance so men have been given most preferences
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
26 Sep 08
Sorry. Yes men do have most of the preferences where financial commitments are concerned and they also have the training but that is changing. That was definitely the case when I was young but the world is changing so much now. I am not sure it is true any longer. I know many young women that are working at a high level in the financial sector, my nephew's wife is one.
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5483)
• United States
26 Sep 08
I am a well educated woman, I have raised 2 daughters, taken care of the household, inside and out and can do most repairs a man can. I am smart and independent, I do not need a man to make my decisions for me! If you want to know how men can make bad decisions, just take a look at politics. I'm also lucky enough to be living with a man that is comfortable with me making my own decisions. I normally let him know what I have decided to do or not do, but that's just so he knows, not so he can tell me his opinion of if I'm right or wrong. Who ever wrote the other discussion, has a very big ego.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 08
It is amazing in these days and times that there are still men that think that way.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
I imagine there are quite a lot in countries that are still patriarchal. In fact I read a book about what life was like for women when the taliban took over Afghanistan. It was a woman's worst nightmare made real. Fundamentalists of every patriarchal religion believe that women should be confined to the home and that their only purpose in life is to have children and to take care of their husband and family. The taliban were an extreme example of that. They allowed some women doctors to continue practicing but only on women and they had to wear the full head gear all the time which meant they could not see properly when operating and they were not allowed to practice in proper hospitals or have medicine or anesthesia because they were for men only. So women who needed surgery to survive were in trouble. Any woman found on the street without a male escort was severely beaten and men were allowed to beat their wives and children because under their law what a man did in the privacy of his own home was his business. To me this is a woman's worst nightmare. Reading about it made me shiver in horror but fundamentalist Christians are much the same. They firmly believe that women are born inferior and are the cause of all sin in the world. Odd really since men commit most of the sin but blame it all on the first woman. They really do not like taking responsibility for their decisions. Just like rapists blaming the victim for the crime. It is always the woman's fault, she was wearing provocative clothing, or she was pretty or flirting. Oh there are still men like that in this world and the scary thing is that if they take over again we are all in trouble.
1 person likes this
@mands61123 (2098)
26 Sep 08
Not all men think like that and for the men that do they are going to be very surprised in life! As from what i can tell it's equal i know many women who struggle to make decisions as do many men and many of both sexes who have no problem at all. If thats how he feels fantastic may he find a woman that agrees with him and they live a happy life together but i am not one of those women. Nor do i wish to take part in a discussion like that because i don't want to waste my time and energy on someone who is so demeaning. He probably has an unusually close relationship with his mother to which no woman bears comparison or will ever measure up to.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
I agree with you. Not all men are like that and just as many men make bad decisions as women but for some reason some men seem to think that a decision made by a man is better because a man made it. sigh. It just shows to me that we are still a long way from a truly equal society. I do hope that we manage to achieve it one day.
1 person likes this
27 Sep 08
There will always be some people like that hun same as there will always be racists and bigots but you just have to rise above them ignore then and stand firm in your beliefs prove them wrong. I have had boyfriends say that they felt i was to intelligent for them, sorry deal with it i'm not dumbing myself down for anyone. We've got this far, i know it's still a long way to go but we'll get there.
1 person likes this
@CAdreamer (118)
• United States
26 Sep 08
LOL, I have never had a man in my life to make a decision for me and I am doing just fine. Men flatter themselves that they know what is best, but I have never seen any proof that a woman needs a man for anything. I make my own decisions and they come out perfect. Why should I need a man to make my decisions when I have gotten this far in life without having a man around me at all. The way I see it, men need us because that way they feel they are useful in some way. We, on the other hand, don't necessarily need them. Everything a man can do I can do just as well. I fix my own cars, build my own furniture, harvest my own foods, bring in my own paycheck, and I even don't require their services for that one other thing lol. I will admit that they are required in order to have children, but hey I never said I wanted kids in the first place. I have raised my kids and they didn't come from my womb. So why should I need them for something as trivial as making a decision.
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
27 Sep 08
Good point. I can see that you have had a full life without a man in it but do you not miss romance and love? You are correct that outside of having children women do not need men but I like having them in my life. I have often wondered if men tried to stop us from learning all these things so that we would not realise that we did not need them in our life. I would like to see a world where men and women balanced each other and respected each other. I find it hard to understand how anyone could judge someone else based on their gender, their race or their religion.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
29 Sep 08
I agree with you, our history does show where their decisions have led us. I think we do with more emotion and compassion in decision making instead of more greed. Unfortunately just putting more women in there will not solve the problem as the women who go into politics seem to be either just as bad as the men or pretending to be like them to make it in the world of politics. Margaret Thatcher was an example of that. We need people who are going to help change things rather than more of the same. I sometimes wonder if we will manage to change things before it is too late.
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@syankee525 (6292)
• United States
26 Sep 08
well i know with my wife, she takes forever to decide about anything.. like dinner lord..
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
26 Sep 08
Yes well some decisions take a while and if you take too long sometimes someone else will offer suggestions and make the decision easy. lol. My partner is an ex chef and he decides what we are having for dinner, he even cooks a lot of the meals which is even better. I hate having to decide what to have. That is one decision I am keen to pass on to someone else.
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@mansha (6301)
• India
28 Sep 08
deciding on dinner is such a mundane task of everyday that if its assigned to you too-I bet after the first three days you will also take forever too.
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@dr_sans (59)
• India
19 Apr 09
i think women make desicions which r more better than men,women r more matured in mind than men
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
20 Apr 09
Some women do mature faster than men but it levels off at some point. That is one reason why women prefer older men as they are seeking someone of the same level of maturity. At least that is my theory. Maturity does help to make more sound decisions but so does knowledge. The more informed a person is the better his/her ability to make a sound decision.
@mommyboo (13191)
• United States
25 Mar 09
I wonder if I answered this already, I don't think so but if I did, forgive that I forgot lol. What if I said that I think MEN make horrible decisions because they don't think the right way, so WOMEN should make decisions for them? That sounds just about as ludicrous as what the man who thinks women make bad decisions thinks. Of course I don't actually THINK this. On a case by case basis I have determined that SOME men always make bad decisons, SOME men sometimes make bad decisons, and SOME men rarely make bad decisions, but I could replace the word MEN with WOMEN easily and mean it just as much. You are right to say that it's a learning process, and learning ANYTHING opens you up to the possibility, no PROBABILITY of making mistakes! Men are NOT superior to women, neither are women superior to men! I don't see why people have to have it one way or the other! I have to tell you, if some man proceeded to tell me what to do and how to do it, I don't think there'd be much left of him if I got my hands on him. I don't play that way.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
25 Mar 09
I quite agree with you. In the old days they would label us witches and burn us as an example to any other woman who thought about questioning male domination. But it did not work really as we kept on challenging it until we managed to make a change. It is odd that men and women are so totally different in the way they think but instead of criticising us for being different they should embrace our thoughts and maybe the two types of thinking together might make a whole that is worthwhile. No one is superior to anyone else we are all human and we should celebrate our diversity not condemn others for being different. I loved the term they used on Star Trek, infinite diversity in infinite combinations.
@nimette (339)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
well i think its because men are impulsive, they do whatever comes first into their mind without really thinking that's why its easy for them to get into fights. women on the other hand needs a lot of time to decide because she usually weighs each options carefully, its hard for them to decide especially if options seems equal. women also are more emotional, when they make wrong decisions they really feel sorry, that's why they think too much.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
8 Dec 08
Women do take time consider options but that just makes them careful not unable as some people seem to think. Unfortunately there are still men who think that women are silly and cannot be trusted with decisions.
1 person likes this
@msedge (4012)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Both men and women has the right to make decisions and entitled to make mistakes.I don't think there are superior among men and women.We both equal because we are both human being and created by God.We are not perfect and we made mistakes.I learned to be independent when i studied far from home during my college days.I made my own decision which i think was right for me but i made mistakes too.And i believe that i am very responsible in making decisions and i had proven that for myself and for our family.
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
8 Dec 08
I quite agree with you. Everyone has to learn from their mistakes. You can educate people up to a point but experience is the best teacher in many areas. I think it is also called learning the hard way sometimes. I have been making my own decisions all my life and I am not about to change now.
1 person likes this
@cncoke (439)
• China
5 Oct 08
I am the right style of this kind of woman.My husband often makes decisions most of the time.He always thinks that I am not bright enough to decide the things.If I make decisions,things will get worse.After things happen,I admit my husband is always right to make decisions.So I nearly follow his advice.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6341)
• Australia
5 Oct 08
You do what you think is right for you and that is fine.
1 person likes this