What is the ideal marrying age?

Philippines
September 26, 2008 9:21pm CST
I am 24. People around me tease me about becoming an old maid. They say that 25 is the ideal marrying age for women and I just have one more year to catch the train. I don't have a steady boyfriend right now. Though I have suitors and friends around me. I am not in the hurry for marriage. I want to enjoy life more and want to make sure I have all that I wanted to have before building a family. I wanna be ready for it. Besides, I didn't find Mr. Right yet, so why settle for just anybody? Marriage is a serious and lasting stuff, I have to think that over. I remember my "childhood sweetheart" Marvin. He was the basketball hero of the men's team while I was the captain ball of the women's volleyball team way back in high school. Friends tease us all through our high school years but we were young then, we never really took everything seriously. But I remeber marvin telling me that if ever we'll be approaching 25 and still unattached, we'll be settling for each other and I really think he was serious that time so I guess I was serious too when I said yes. But after high school days, Marvin and his family went away, no communication, no contacts. I wonder where he is? I wonder if he'll honor our silly promises, LOL! Calling Marvin, Calling Marvin, you have a year to grab this once in a lifetime opportunity to marry this amazingly beautiful lady, hahaha! Ok, back to serious business. Is 25 really the ideal age for marriage? What time did you get married? Must I think seriously of my present civil status? I will really appreciate your responses.
5 people like this
45 responses
• China
27 Sep 08
it is really a stupid rumor.marriage is crucial in ones life.marriage need love and predestination but time.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Yeah, it is really stupid, but well, I sure don't wanna be an oldmaid LOL!
1 person likes this
@xayuk69 (267)
• Malta
27 Sep 08
I think there is no ideal age for marriage. The ideal time comes when you really find the right person that you would like to spend your entire life with!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Hi xayuk69, I dig your point, I always tell my friends about that, but they're just so fond of teasing me, LOL!
• United States
27 Sep 08
The only ideal age for marriage is whatever age you are when you meet the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. I do not understand why people set "marriage goals" for themselves like that. Why settle for Joe Schmoe just so you can say you're a wife? That's so unsatisfying. Don't let people corral you into doing something you aren't ready and don't want to do. There is NOTHING wrong with not being married.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Amen to that! I love being SINGLE, the fun never stops! LOL! I have so many things I'm yet to do with my life and I certainly don't want marriage to stop me from attaining them. I'm sure my friends meant no harm, maybe they just think that I'm ready for marriage (and some of them are suitors, so they can be a "pest" at times, LOL!). I'm not yet marrying, but I'll definitely find myself my Mr. Right! Thanks for the response Gloom.
• United States
28 Sep 08
Kudos! Good luck with your goals.
@n30wing (4768)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
I think if it was meant for you it just happen. It's better to be slow then commit a life time mistake. So what other people say it's your life, and you make your own life. Just take your time, and be happy with life. It's not them who will decide it's you so don't think about your civil status. I' m almost turning 33 I'm very serious about my gf. I love her but we never rush, it's been almost two years now that I am into relationship, yes we do have plans to settle down by december but she wants first for us to know each other more anyway were living in one roof, and as long as we love each other their wont have any problem and accept each other faults and mistakes. Thei are alot of single who is older then you but they don't care about their age, as long as their satisfied with their life. I know also that life is very hard they focus first with their carreer and family. It's easy to get married but it's hard to go out. Life is not perfect, we just make most of it. It's better just to feel love then never felt love anyway. In love you don't ask in return. Nothing stays permanent but only yourself. You can't tell what will happen next. It's just an advice you take it or you leave it! I hope you have a good day!
1 person likes this
27 Sep 08
I echo your point. Be prudent in each step forward, otherwise there is no way back. People's choices make their lives different and unique. There is no best age for marriage. It depends on how you think about it. When it comes, it just happens.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Wow! Good for you and your gf! But, I don't think I'll go for live-in though. No offense meant, people are entitle to thier own opinions, I have nothing against that, but then I don't think people around me would approve me living together with a man without marriage, I don't think I can do so too... Anyway, I love your response, you are so honest and yes, very helpful. I'll think of all these things, thank you so much for dropping by.
@cjfoust (614)
• United States
27 Sep 08
If you think you are getting teased, imagine how I feel. I am 23 years old and have been married for 4 years. I've been lucky though. I think I found the Mr. Right the first time. Everyone had and some still have doubts that my husband and I will last because we got married so young. I think people doubting us just makes our love for each other that much stronger. Sometimes I do feel I got married too young, but when I look at the big picture, both of us have done really well for ourselves and I would never change a thing.
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Wow! You are one of those lucky few. I've known people who married at the young age but haven't been successful. I'm pretty sure you found your Mr. Right, I'm so happy for you. I'm finding myself one of those too! LOL! Happy mylotting!
@chiaeugene (2226)
• China
27 Sep 08
there is no standard age to get into marriage. the most important factor is that both of you must be ready for marriage life. it a real jump from singlehood into marriage. it is not as simple as just sharing a bed together. there are a lot more to it. we are seeing more divorce these days because a lot of couple rushed into marriage and then realised that they are not compatible staying together sharing the same bed in the same house. after going thru a failed marriage once, i would think seeking advice from a marriage counsellor or adviser would be good to prepare one for marriage if anyone of thinking to do so. this would prepare one to be ready for the demand and expectations in a marriage and i believed it would help. marriage is not a game. it is about spending more than half of your life togehter with someone whom you think you can trust and rely upon. the hurt and pain would be very much to bear if somewhere down the road then you realisd that he or she is not suitable and you are no longer young. so do not rush into marriage as this decision making is the toughest in your lifetime.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
My sentiments exactly! Great response chiaeugene, I appreciate that. Marriage is never a game, I am the living witness that my parents mean serious business. Theirs is an ideal marriage. I'm sure they've got problems but they were able to stay inlove until now. I just love to see them happy together even on their old age and I want the same marriage for me. I promise I won't rush myself then, I sure do want to get married ONLY ONCE. Have a great day!
@modstar (9608)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
You seem like a nice lady. My name is Marvin but i made a contract long ago with a 32 year old lady not with a 24 year old hottie. When she reaches 40 then if she's still single, i'll ask her to marry me. But of course that was just a play. Nothing serious. Marrying age for women is the age where women wanted to settle down with her boyfriend be it 24 or 32 or older. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
One Marvin down! I wonder where the other Marvins are? Too bad I'm 8 years younger than that "seemingly" lucky lady who were offered a marriage by a "seemingly" nice guy LOL! Sad that it was just a play though. Anyway, you have a good point, it should be the right time, not the right age. Have a great day too!
@Shellyann36 (11599)
• United States
27 Sep 08
I feel that you should marry only when you have found the right person. I also feel that there is such a thing as being married too young. You should enjoy yourself by yourself for a while. Marriage tends to change things and normally along with marriage comes children and that will have a big change on your life. Not a bad thing but there will be no more spontaneous, "I am going to the beach for the weekend just because I can" type things. Or at least that is how it was for me. I am afraid I got married at a young age and I really did not grow up to be myself I was what my husband wanted me to be up until we separated. You should know yourself before ever committing to such a serious relationship. Don't worry about that clock ticking.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
You have a point there. It should be the person not the clock. But I'm a little worried about the biological aspect of a woman as well. Of course I want to build a complete family, yes, that's children, 3 of them. But I will surely get married when I'm ready, emotionally, physically, mentally, financially and spiritually. I want my parents' almost perfect marriage.
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Hello Joyce. I think you should not be in a hurry. You can continue enjoying your life for now. Mr. Destiny will surely come in a right time. For me, 24 is still early for marriage. I'd prefer 27 to 30, with a job, and a bank account. I married when I was 27, had a job, a bank account and had a house before marriage. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
Thanks Joyce, hehehe. I am sure Mr. Right is just around the corner. Wow, good for you, a house of your own. I'm still paying my lot right now, I think I'll start building my dreamhouse next year. Lucky men aren't they? Hahaha!
1 person likes this
@schulzie (4064)
• United States
27 Sep 08
I think 25 is a really good age to get married. I got married when I was 22 and my husband was 24. We are still married and will celebrate 19 years in November. I had my first child at 24 and my last one at 38. I think there is really no "perfect" age, but whatever is the most comfortable for you. If you want children and are a woman you should factor that in. Also, you want to be married a little bit before you start having children, that way you get to spend time with your spouse before any children come along. Good luck in your future endeavours! Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!
• Malaysia
27 Sep 08
well it depends on several aspect: 1)am i ready? 2)do i have enough income to support my family? 3)both side hv no prob 4)ready for responsible? to me age is not the main thing..really ask ur self.. :-) gudlak
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
1. I'm not ready. 2. I supposed I am financially stable 3. Both side is questionable, I didn't find him yet 4. Same with 1. I guess, I passed only 1 out of 4. That means NO, not doing it, LOL! Thanks for the response.
• Malaysia
28 Sep 08
actually it's just a guide,not really a concrete answer to everything... all problems can be settle just sometimes we need to be patient in oder to get GREAT RESULTS adios
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
I am just trying to assess myself with the guidelines you gave me, pity that I failed though.
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
I want to join the calling. Calling Marvin, Paging Marvin, grab the opportunity of marrying this sweet angel. LOL. You know I am 28, and I have no boyfriend. I don't know why, maybe I am not that beautiful for them or maybe I don't know something wrong with me. Before I am not waiting for the day that a man will come into my life because I am busy with work and things at home. But now I am slightly wanting to have an inspiration. Actually I have found one, but, he have a girlfriend which made me think there is no man for me. I am slightly waiting, I am not ready though. I maybe too old but i feel I am still young. Maybe I should not anticipate it because it is more hurting if you expect it. Or should i pray or ask for it? If I am destined to be attached it will happen, but I hope the man that will come to my life will not hurt me so deeply or will love me much more with his life. Well ideal age, yeah its 25 for woman, but sadly I am still single. Because woman at 25 years of age is mature to handle being a mommy and a wife plus a career, such a multitasker could be, but not me. sad.
• Belize
27 Sep 08
gettin marvin come on girl forget marvin i am here lonely and single you are stuck on marvin and a good man is here checking your profile and hoping god will answer my prayer if intrested email me soon lets corespond bainsvillecom at yahoo dot com glenford in belize willing to travel for you
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Hahaha! I love this girl! Thanks grecychunny! I owe you one LOL! Please don't say you aren't beautiful, you are, you just didn't find your man yet. But you do make me a little worried here. Like you I'm keeping myself busy with my career and my family and friends. I hope I wouldn't reach 28 still uninspired bu love, I am really idealistic too when it come to love you know. I feel for you. I do hope you'll find that man someday soon. Don'r lose hope, you're not old yet, still young at 28, I'm sure he's just around the bend, waiting... Happy mylotting girl and have a great day.
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Hmmm, I can't believe Mr. Bainsville here is giving me an irresistible offer! Hahaha! Thanks, that's really sweet of you but I'm not sure I'm into online relationship for the moment. I guess I'll have to settle for my Marvin for now. Happy mylotting!
@tessah (6621)
• United States
27 Sep 08
i got married at 25.. and same as you had everyone around me harping about having to settle down, get married.. it was "time" well.. i took their advice and married the man i was with at the time. settled... thru the entire marriage ceremony all i wanted to do was vomit and flee. i KNEW inside myself this was the wrong thing for me.. but i ignored that nagging little inner nausea and said "i do" anyway. after 5 years of attempting to love this man that i didnt love.. i finally woke up, and stopped living the lie everyone else wanted me to live. do yerself a favor.. ignore those telling you what to do with yer life, and do what YOU wanna do, what YOU feel is right. itll save yerself (as well as others) a whole world of pain and wasted time. fyi.. i met and married the man i am with now about 2 months after i freed myself from the lie i had been living. we are going on 10 years strong, have a beautiful little girl, and even now.. still get those butterflutteries when he walks through the door at the end of the day. there isnt any timetable on when you find THE one.. and dont ever settle for the one who is convenient just because others think you should. maybe youll find him in a year.. maybe you wont find him for ten years.. but when you do, lightning will strike and youll be happier than you can imagine.
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Oh Tessah, that's just sad. But I sure am happy that you found him afterall and is now happily settled. Life can be so mysterious. I wish though that I'll find mine in a year and not in 10 years. I'm a little concerned about the biological stuff of becoming a mother and I really want to get settled at 28. I want to find him now so I can spend enough time knowing him before we tie the knot. I am happy being single but I love what you're saying about being happier than I can imagine, that sure sounds like heaven! Thanks Tessah, I appreciate you taking the time in responding. Stay happy!
@tessah (6621)
• United States
28 Sep 08
ahh joyce dont fall to te rumors of old maid and barren by the tim yer 30. you relaly dont need to worry over the "biological stuff" until yer at LEAST 35, and even then.. it isnt really a worry until yer 40. youve got plenty of time to hook up with Mister Right instead of settleing for Mister Right-Now. dont be in such a hurry to bypass yer youth. once its gone, you wont get it back. enjoy the now for what it is, and just be happy.
• Malaysia
27 Sep 08
For me, the ideal age is around 25 to 30 as that is the age where the mature life is about to begin because that moment, we will have a job, and start planning on future actions, house, car and of course for the partner. =)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Yes, I am working right now, driving my own car, planning to build my dreamhouse next year, but no sign of Mr. Right yet... He'll come around. Thanks for the response.
• Malaysia
28 Sep 08
Great progress. All the best to you pal. One suggest is not to rush for mr right, don't marriage because of just want to marriage. =)
@apples99 (6562)
• United States
27 Sep 08
Don't worry about what other people say I'm older then you and I'm still not in a hurry to get married marriage can be a wonderful and beautiful thing in a persons life, but its not all sunshine and roses and I think you should only get married when the time is right for you, I use to think that if I wasn't married by a certain age that I would be an old maid but I know now that theres nothing wrong with waiting until the time is right, and dont let anyone make you feel bad for taking your time your still very Young and you shouldn't rush, when it comes to making those kinds of choice's.
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Yes, it can also be sunburn and thorns, LOL! I've seen alot of divorce ans separation to keep a responsible and vigilant watch of my life. The right man at the right time, I intend to have mine, not too soon, I am in no rush. You'll get yours to apples, we single girls are gorgeous and thrive in fun, marriage can wait, LOL! Keep smiling!
@apples99 (6562)
• United States
28 Sep 08
High five and have happy mylot day.
• Malaysia
27 Sep 08
Hi, I've read your story and I understood that you are now coming into the glorious world of a matured young lady. This because you have already thinking about your age and marriage. Thats a good sign. You know every man wants to get married to a young and beautiful girl like you. You must think of the future and not to be selfish. Be humble toward the man who try to befriend with you. Dont be too shy cause this may be your last chance. Tell him what you think about marrying him after he propose you. Its nice to be a very young couple cause your desire is his desire too. Make love many times and things will go on wonderfully. Sometimes love comes after marriage. Good luck and try your best.
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
You have given such great opinion but I don't think I'm into "making love many times" yet (if you mean that to be the physical one). I admit I'm still inexperienced in that part and I don't think there's something wrong with it. I want my future husband to be my first and oly experience.. Thanks for dropiing by.
@NrgDfenZ (1810)
• Belgium
27 Sep 08
I think you should get married when you are really in love and have a good financial state.. I didn't get married yet, but I would like to get married at 25-30 years old.. Have a nice day..
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
I am I think "so-so" financially stable but I'm not in love yet, nobody seems good enough to make this heart flutter, LOL! But we'll see, right? I plan to tie the knot at the age of 28. Have a great day too.
@gquimpo (47)
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
People have nothing better to say. The age to get married is when you have found the one you want to be the parent of your child/ren or the one you simply just want to be with. Age limit is "required" to bear a child, that is inescapable for a woman whilst for a man, it does not really concern him, understandably. The pressure of marrying early then steams from the limiting physical capability of a woman to reproduce. I got married at the age of 34 when my wife was pregnant at the age of 33. She didn't have a hard time delivering. Do not allow silly talks to pressure you in your daily existence and stress yourself looking for that husband-material guy in the crowd. There are a lot of things to do while you are in that age. Explore your world. Help the world. Be an activist. Save for the future. Work hard. Help people. Do the things you have been dreaming of. Stay away from people who talks about marriage. Think more of how you can utilize your time as a young and energetic young person. Live like you are meant to live. Glorify Him. Enjoy! :-)
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Yes, the biological aspect of becoming a mother is important. I wanna have kids in the future. But I believe I can still bear them at 28 or so. Nahhh, I'm not staying away from my friends, they can be a pest sometimes but I love them, LOL! I know they meant no harm, I see them as little kids trying to loll one good kid into playing something isn't allowed for her age, hehehe. I am enjoying my single life and I intend to do so until I find Mr. Right. Thanks for sharing and of course for a great advice. Happy mylotting!
@relundad (2311)
• United States
27 Sep 08
I believe that YOUR ideal age for marriage is specific to that person. You should not feel pressured by numbers that society deems the ideal age. I agree that you should not be pressured to the people around you and settle for just anybody just because you have reached a certain age. I think at whatever age you are fortunate enough to find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, is the perfect time.
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
They are pressuring me, but I'm not pressured, I tease them back and they think I'm being "unserious" about my life. Oh yes, I want that perfect time to settle with my perfect man. But I'm sure nothing's perfect in this world, so I'll settle for almost perfect, LOL!
• Philippines
27 Sep 08
we should not be in a hurry to get married. we should enjoy our life first being single. Time will come and tell u if when are u going to marry the one you love and when to settle for marriage and building a family. having a family is not that easy, you will face many trials in your life..
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
I'm not in a hurry, I guess my friends are, they want to come to my elaborately planned perfect wedding, LOL! Family is a serious matter to me, that's why I'm taking my time.
@jzjqdkd (273)
• China
27 Sep 08
Actually,i don't think age is a sign for us to get married,it happens only when we find our true love,and want to get married with the other.of course ,there is some place ,a custom of marrying at the age of some,but if we don't want to,it is nothing ,so just do what we want,not following some old custom at the price of our happiness.
• Philippines
28 Sep 08
Yes, not to the expense of my happiness, no way! I'm yet to find my true love but I sure do hope he's just around the corner, I don't wanna wait that long too as I need many years to get to know him first before I tie the knot with him. Thanks for the response.