TRUTH (must read its funny)

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*If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? *I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. *If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong? *Is there another word for synonym? *Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? *What should you do if you see an endangered animal eatingan endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages? *Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?Are they worried someone will clean them? *Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? *If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the rightto talk? *Why do they put Braille on the drive thru bank machines? *What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?